If I Were Allowed To Love You

Forty

It was easier to get out of bed as the days went on. A week had passed, and through it was still a struggle, the moment Melissa finally did sit up, she could face the day with ease. The hardest moments were when she sat or laid down and did nothing but think. Think about what Lucas and Theo were doing right in that moment. Kissing. Marking.

Mating.

That was the worst thought of them all. It was even worse to think about while she lied in bed, the same bed they had slept in together multiple times. She hated to think about Lucas being with someone else, even if it was his mate.

But it was always the reminder that Theo was Lucas's true mate that calmed her mind down. She may have hated to envision him with anyone else, but knowing he found the person he was meant to be with and was made for him somehow made it all worth it. In the end, he found happiness. He found someone who was never going to leave him, and though she knew she never had plans to, she never knew if her mind would change. At least with Theo, Lucas would never have to fret over any of those doubts ever again.

Wasn't that what true love was? Being able to let your love go and not keep them around for selfish reasons? Lucas knew the truth. He would soon never be able to love her like that ever again (if he hadn't already). And as sad as the thought was to Melissa, she was happy for him. He found the love of his life. She would soon have to do the same thing. The only way she could was to get out of bed.

Wobbling down the stairs in a half awake daze, she strolled into the kitchen where Ryan was brewing a fresh pot of coffee. With one glance her direction, he said, "I assume you're going to want some?"

Opening the fridge and pulling out a yogurt, she said, "Yes, please." Noticing he was dressed in ripped blue jeans and a dark gray t-shirt, she smirked and asked, "Casual Friday?"

"No, I'm not going in today."

"You do know I don't need a babysitter, right? I'm doing much better."

He sighed as he looked at her smug grin. "You know I hate it when you call it 'babysitting.' That's not what this. You need me right now. I don't want to come home from a long day of work and just flop onto the couch when I could hang out with you."

"You do know we've mainly been lying around all lazily on the couch this entire time, right?" she questioned, and he rolled his eyes. "Admit it, you're worried about me being alone."

"Yes, Melissa, I am worried about you being alone. I don't want your depression to swallow you and hurt you. I'd like to be here during the rough days to make the lighter days easier when you're alone. I'm going back into work next week, but in the meantime, I'm going to enjoy my much needed vacation days."

"Glad my sorrows could bring you some much needed time off," she chirped with a mouth full of yogurt.

Ryan smiled softly as he walked past her, kissing the top of her head along the way, to the fridge. "Please don't talk with your mouth full. It's gross."

"Fine, fine," she said after she swallowed. "Why are you dressed and not in your sweats, then? I don't think I've ever seen you lounge around in jeans." It was always basketball shorts or sweatpants.

"I'm going grocery shopping."

She quirked an eyebrow at him. "Then what was with that big speech about not wanting me to be alone if you're just going to leave me alone while you shop?" He chuckled under his breath as she smirked at him. "Oh, I see. You're just using me as an excuse for taking your vacation days."

He shrugged. "I'm not going to say yes, but I'm not going to say no either." His pointer finger slid under her chin as he tilted her head back to look at him. "I have been enjoying my time with you. Don't think I haven't."