crowded thoughts

moose

parts of moose

A thousand Novembers:

"It's okay to love someone other than Oliver," Fred says in the quiet room, his voice barely above a whisper. She glances over at him and bites her bottom lip. "I know you're scared and don't like change, but it's going to be okay. Oliver...he doesn't have to be the only boy you ever love."
"I know that," she mutters back, causing him to send her a look. "I know it's okay to love someone else, but I can't help it. He's constantly on my mind," she admits, pulling her knees up to her chest. "I see him in everything I do. When I'm baking, when I'm taking a shower, when I'm getting ready to fall asleep, everything."
"That's normal, right? I mean, you'll always love him, but you have the ability to let go," Fred tells her. She nods her head.
"Yeah, but I don't even know if I'm ready for someone else," she says to him. He sends her a curious look.
"What about Moose?" He questions.
"What about him?"
"You don't...feel anything for him?"
There's a pause.
"I do, but I can't," she says.
"And why not?" He asks, staring at her for a moment. "Because of Lucy?" She doesn't say anything. "El, you don't have to always put everything on pause or to the side because of her. If you like him, why don't you just go for it?"
"Really?" She says, sending him a deadpanned look. "I can't do that to her. She likes him a lot and—"
"She likes everyone a lot."
"I can't. I just can't."

•|•

"Don't go with him," Oliver says as he grabs her hand. She shakes her head and frowns, pulling her hand away from him.
"Why not?" She cautiously asks.
"You know why," he tells her, his face softening.
"No," she shakes her head, "No."
"El, please—"
"No, stop. I'm going with him," she says, letting out a breath. "I don't care what you say because it doesn't matter anymore. You stopped caring about me, and you shouldn't be telling me what I should or shouldn't do. I've always done everything for you— everything, and I will not be the person you settle for just because you cannot have someone else."

•|•