crowded thoughts

sorry - luna

sorry - Luna

She slows down, the busy city yelling in her ears as she waits for Hudson to catch up with her. She begins shaking her head as she wraps her warm jacket closer to her stomach. Waiting for him, her heart beats fast against her chest.
"Luna," she hears him say, "I can't help it. I can't help what I feel for you." He stops in front of her and breathes rapidly, almost like he's out of breath from the cold air. "I've tried to stop feeling this way, but I can't, and I'm so in love with you, Luna."
She looks away from him for a second, her throat beginning to heave as she tries not to cry. "I'm sorry," she says, shrugging her shoulders. He stares at her and sends her an odd look.
"You're sorry?" He asks, his eyebrows furrowing.
"Yeah," she throws her hands up in the air, "I'm sorry."
"Sorry because I love you, or sorry because you don't love me back?" He questions, his eyes becoming sad. There's a pause before Luna speaks.
"I love you, Hudson," she says, "but I'm sorry that it can't be in the way that you want it to be. I'm sorry, "she stresses. He shakes his head and starts backing up, causing her to run towards him. "I'm sorry," she repeats."
"Sorry?" He says, "Because you love Everett?" She doesn't say anything. "I knew it," he lets out and rolls back on the balls of his feet. "Maybe you should tell him, or, I don't know, try a little harder to be with him." She sends him a look.
"Try a little harder?" She mocks, a sudden feeling of irritation running through her body. "You're telling me to try harder?"
"You know how Everett is," he retorts, crossing his arms over his chest. "If you really want him, you need to at least try."
"You're being mean," she mutters, trying not to cry, again.
"I'm not trying to be mean, Luna, I'm just telling you the truth," he replies. "He doesn't want someone who's not going to tell him how they feel. He doesn't want someone insecure, or afraid to do things, and—"
"I never said I wanted him," she states, letting out a breath.
"You do, though."
"No, I don't."
"Yes, Luna, I think you do."
"I don't think I do."
"Luna—"
"Look, I don't, Hudson. I don't want him, and I don't want you. I'm fine being by myself. I'm alone half the time, anyway. I'm used to it. So, no, just because I have sex with someone or flirt with someone doesn't mean that I want them. I just don't want...anything," she replies to him. He nods his head and drops his eyes down to the ground.
"Okay, that's fine," he says after a moment of silence. "But if I were you, I'd tell Everett how you really feel. Otherwise, it'll get lost, either in time or in your head. I love you. I think— I think I'm gonna head back up to the apartment." He turns around and begins to walk away when she calls him. He sends her a curious look.
"Don't tell Everett," she quietly pleads. He shakes his head and lets out a breath.
"You know I'd never do that," he walks away, his hands in his pockets. The busy city envelopes him as she watches him leave.