crowded thoughts

it's not love 2

it's not love 2

       She stops moving her hand up and down and places her brush on her an old scrap of cardboard. Letting out a breath, she leans back against the base of the couch and shakes her head. Staring at her painting, her throat starts to swell, and she begins to quietly sob. Her body shakes as she hugs herself to her knees, not being able to stop crying.
      The night passes on, her loose frame lying against the hardwood floor as she was finally able to fall asleep, almost peacefully. When she wakes, she has an empty feeling in her stomach.
        Looking around, she notices all the paint she was using last night has dried up into clumps on the cardboard. She stands up and kicks her unfinished painting to the side and slowly trails to her bedroom to get her phone. When she grabs it, she hurriedly types a number into it and swallows.
        A few rings are heard and then the person picks up. "I didn't expect a call from you this morning! How are you doing, sweetie?" There's a pause from Luna.
       "I— uh..." she swallows.
       "Sweetie?"
       "Mom," she says quietly.
       "Yes, honey? Are you okay?"
       "Can I come home?" She asks, her hand starting to shake.
       "Of course you can! When do you want to? Friday so you don't miss any of your classes?" She asks. Luna stares at her bed for a second before answering.
       "No, I...I want to come home for good," she mutters, closing her eyes as she waits for a response.
        "Oh, honey, what's wrong? I'm sure you don't mean that. We'll get you a ticket for Saturday and talk about—"
         "Mom, please."
         "You can't have reckless decisions, please, LuLu. Just come Saturday and we will talk about what's going on in person. Push through this week. You might change your mind," she replies, her voice sounding tired. Luna begins to cry, her tears pouring down. "Oh, honey," her mom mutters.
         "I'm sorry," she hiccups, hurriedly wiping her tears away. "I can't help it."
         "Oh, I know...I know what it's like, but please just push through this week, and I'll see you on Saturday, okay sweetie?"
          "Okay," she whispers.
          "I love you very much, LuLu."
          "I love you, too."

•|•

     "I just want to be loved by him, and I know that's not what he wants to do."

•|•

       "Girl, you have to learn to be happy for yourself because no one else will truly ever be."

•|•

"Are we gonna finish this or not?" She asks, sending him a smile as she flicks her wet paint brush at him. He shakes his head and lets out a small laugh. Furrowing her eyebrows, she watches as he stands up from the floor and stretches out his arms. "What're you doing?" She questions, biting the inside of her cheek.
"Hudson's staying with his brother tonight," Everett mutters, his eyelids falling heavily over his brown eyes. Luna nods her head. "If we're gonna...I don't know, do something, tonight would be the night," he tells her. Her heart begins to beat a second faster. She opens her mouth to say something but she loses her words. "I know you feel the same way."
"Maybe we should get back to work," she mumbles, thinking maybe the weed has gotten to his head.
"No," he says.
"No?"
"No," he repeats, squaring down in front of her, their faces inches apart. "I want you to kiss me." She stares at him for a moment, her eyes searching his face for any real answer to know why he's doing this now. Why does he want her now? "Kiss me." She does. She grabs the back of his neck and pulls him to her, her lips pressing against his. He lets out a quiet noise as he slightly pushes her back against the ground, next to the paint they were using moments before.
Wrapping her legs around his waist, he moves his body into hers as he runs his fingers along her torso. They continue to kiss, her right hand tangling in his hair, and her left arm above her head.