crowded thoughts

only for you

only for you

Luna glances down at her bowl of rice and vegetables and swirls her fork around, not feeling hungry anymore. She lets out a breath and leans back against the chair and bites the inside of her cheek, staring at Hudson as he begins to eat his sushi. "How's Paige?" She asks, causing him to look up at her. He shrugs his shoulders.
       "I'm giving her two weeks," he says, his voice muffled by his chewing. She furrows her eyebrows.
       "Two weeks?"
        "Yeah, to show that I at least tried. I don't know," he tells her, shrugging his shoulders again. She nods her head and sends him a comforting smile.
     "That's all you can do."
      "Yeah."
       "Looks like we're both in love with people who wants nothing to do with us," she replies, her eyes widening as soon as she says it. He stops eating and puts his chopsticks down. She watches as he takes a drink of his beer before letting out a quiet cough.
       "Who are you in love with?" He asks her after a short moment. She doesn't say anything for a minute, not believing that her mind spoke before she could even think. After a second, she sends him a look. "What?"
       "You know who."
       "I...no, I don't think I do."
        "Really, it's obvious, come on."
        "Mmm, no."
        "Hudson, really?" She pauses. "It's Everett." His eyes widen slightly.
        "Since when?" He questions, taking another drink from his beer. She shrugs her shoulders.
        "Since, I don't know, November," she admits.
         "For three months?" He asks. She nods her head.
          "I thought that when I had sex with him, my feelings for him would go away, and it would all be okay," she tells him, causing him to scoff.
        "Dude, are you dumb? How the fuck would that work?" He retorts, shaking his head. "You're dumb."
        "I just thought that if I got out all of my feelings then I would be satisfied. I thought I just wanted him to kiss me, but no, I wanted more. Then, I wanted to fuck him, and I told myself that would be it, but no, it's not. I want him even more then I did before, and I don't know why," she tries to explain, her voice cracking in and out from her nerves. Hudson just stares at her, shaking his head.
        "We both know why," he says, "because, like you said, you're in love with him."
        "Yeah, but I know he will never feel the same way about me. That's why I told him during our first time that I wasn't going to expect anything to come out of us having sex, you know? I knew...I don't know!" She lets out a groan and drops her head into her hands. She hears him let out a breath.
       "Luna, he's not someone you want to be with forever."
        "I know."
        "He's my best friend, but I know how he is and what he wants, and I just wish he would either get with you, or stop leading you on, especially since you lost your fucking virginity to him," he tells her, flicking a piece of corn at her. She smacks it away and slouches in the chair.
         "I know," she shakes her head, "I just want him, and I can't help it."
           "Yeah," he sends her a soft smile, "I understand that feeling."

•|•

"Yeah, well, the last guy I was with was on the first, and it wasn't really good," she says, letting out a quiet laugh as she tucks a strand of her hair behind her ear. He sends her a smile and nods his head.
"The last girl I was with was on...yeah, the 31st," he tells her, sending her a wink. Her eyes widen.
"Uh oh," she mutters, putting a hand up to her lips. "I called you at like, 10 that night!"
"I know."
"I'm sorry! You didn't have to answer, obviously."
There's a short pause. "I know, but I did."