Buzz Buzz (Elias/OC)

Scream And Trust

It felt like my heart had been ripped from me. It felt like daggers were being shot into my heart. It felt like someone was using a shard of glass to shred my heart. The pain was so strong, I could barely stand. It felt like my knees were turned into jelly, and I shouldn't be standing, or even leaning against the wall. It's like all the happy I have ever held in my body has been ripped out of me, and I'm left feeling cold and empty. You know what it's like when you take a hard hit to the head? That's something else this feels like.

It's the fact that everything I have ever wanted is someone and I'm watching them go.

I'm watching him walk away instead of screaming out for him. I'm watching him leave the room instead of telling him to stay. I am watching the best part of me tell me I am nothing to him instead of waking up... because I can't wake up. This is not a dream.

The one man I have ever truly loved... doesn't love me.

No, instead he's leaving. My blue eyes are trained on him, watching him as he packs.

"Don't do this. Don't go. Don't leave me. I... I need you," the words escape my lips in a rushed whisper as I beg Elias to stay.

He just shakes his and continues packing. My knees finally give out as I slide down the wall, letting the first sob come out. They keep coming, and eventually Elias stops. His head turns and his eyes meet mine. "I'm not staying. I can't... I don't," he stops to take a breath and he looks away. "I don't love you the way you love me."

He shuts his suitcase and it feels like the breath has been knocked right out of my lungs. I close my eyes, and hear the doors shut. First the house door, then his car door.

I pull my legs to me and let the sobs take over.

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It's been a couple of days, almost a week. It's Monday now. Hours after El... he left... I went home, and I haven't left my house since. Hell, I've only left my room to use the bathroom. I called Hunter and the bosses already to let them know I 'wasn't feeling too good' and that I wouldn't be in Monday. They said they understood and told me to feel better. Other than that call though, I haven't spoken to anybody.

The groan that came out of my mouth was one I couldn't help. I rolled over in bed, now facing the door to see if I was hearing things or if some sound really had woke me up.

Sure enough, I heard cursing in the kitchen. Two voices. I just rolled back over in bed. If It's some kind of burglar, let them find me. I don't care. As the voices traveled through the house I realized they were familiar voices. A soft knock sounds on my door, to which I groan at loudly in response. The door creaks open earning another groan from me.

"Go away."

"Jasmine..."

"Seth, I said go away!" I hear him sigh as I roll over yet again to face the door. "Both of you."

Roman shakes his head as he starts walking toward the bed. I slide to the other side so he can sit. "No," he says as he sits down by my feet.

Seth moves the pillows so he can sit down where they are. Once they're moved and he's seated he puts them on his laps and pats. I move my head there as tears slowly begin to slide down my face.

That's how we stayed, in pure silence. It was all I needed, they were all I needed. That was good, because they were all I had.

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So even though I told Hunter I would be out today, I still came to the arena. Seth and Roman dragged me, rather. I was still in sweats but at least I had showered. At least I was getting food into my system again.