Going Home.

Chapter 4

I wake up to the sounds of a coffee machine running. Ariel must be up and getting breakfast ready. I just lay there staring at the ceiling. I did tell get much sleep, my mind kept rolling over everything that had happened last night and my conversation with Ariel. It was late when we finally decided to call it a night and go to bed.

I slowly pull myself out and make my way to the bathroom. I look into the mirror and I don't recognize the face looking back at me. My blonde hair is a mess and is all tangled up from tossing and turning. My eyes look dry and my usual bright blues are looking like faded denim. I wash my face and then change into the clothes that Ariel has put on the counter.

As I make my way into the kitchen, I hear Ariel on the phone. 

"Thank you for understanding Grae, I'll just be working from home for the next couple of days and will be on my phone if needed."
She hangs up the phone as I come in.

"Good morning Mia? Did you sleep ok?" She asks.

"As good as I could I guess." I reply. She places a plate of toast and fruit in frount of me along with a coffee. She sits opposite me and starts to eat hers.

"I messaged Carrie and said that we will be over as soon as you are ready to go. I spoke to Grae and he is OK with me not coming in. We didn't have much on anyhow and I always get more done when I am working at home." She says as she continues to look at her breakfast.

I don't answer her straight away, I am too busy thinking over the questions that I had running through my head. I had made a quick mental note last night of what I would ask and now they are all becoming jumbled.

"Mia, did you want something else to eat?" Ariel asks. She is looking at me now and I realize that I am just staring into space.

"Yes, sorry, I just. My mind is such a mess." I say.

Ariel just nods. She probably does not know what to say in this situation, so her best defense is to just nod and keep silent.

We finish our breakfast and Ariel grabs her phone & keys so that we can head over to Carries house.

####

We arrive at Carries house and I can not see a bike in sight. I am sure the Carrie had probably threatened Slater that if any of them were there, she would neuter him.

As we get out of the car, Carrie opens the door. She looks like a wreck. I know I should feel sorry for her but out of the two of them, she would have understood the situation better then Ariel would have and to not bring it up with me is one of my main questions that I will ask when we get inside. As I brush past her, I see her tense up a little but I just make my way to the lounge and wait for them both to follow.

Carrie takes in a deep breath. I wonder if she is waiting to see if I will go first or not before she starts.  It must be killing her to keep her mouth shut and wait for me to say something.

"OK, spill." I say. Carrie moves forward on her seat and begins.

"I found out one night totally by accident. Slater had come home and he was really pissed off about something. We argued and he eventually said that Ryker had made a huge mistake and that now he has to clean up his mess.  I thought it was club business, so I didn't question it, but when Bernice rung and asked me to come to the clubhouse a few nights after I had no idea it had to do with Ryker."

She took a big breath in and continued. "I don't know the ins and outs of 'how it happened' all I know was it was around the time when you went off the grid with all your modelling and stuff was when it happened. You will need to ask Ryker about that part. All I know is that on that night Bernice and I went to the hospital and we met Ryker there with a little baby boy. There had been an incident and the babies mother had died during child birth a few days ago. The baby was in the NICU due to some issues and Ryker had been dealing with everything. Ryker told us that the baby was his and that he needed our help. The babies mother had no known family and she had told the doctors that Ryker was the dad, so he became a single parent overnight."

Carrie had tear welling in her eyes. I looked at Ariel and she just looked stone cold. Carrie continued.

"Ryker asked us to help him so that once the baby, the babies name is Jae. Do you mind if I call him by his name? It just seems so rude to keep calling him 'the baby'." Carrie asks.

I nod so that she will continue.

"Jae needed a lot of help as he was not feeding too well and was not gaining weight. We decided to work in shifts, in conjunction with the nurses, to try and get him feeding. On the 2nd night he finally started to take to the formula and we were ecstatic. Ryker seemed to calm down and we were on track to getting Jae to be able to go home. Ryker had promised me that once Jae was out of hospital, he would ring and explain everything to you. When the day came that we could come home, the boys had moved Ryker to the family section and built a mini nursery so that Ryker would have somewhere for Jae to go. After the festivities of Jae & Ryker coming home, I cornered him and asked if he had contacted you."

I stiffened up as I started to recall the conversation that broke my heart.  Carrie noticed my change in body language but she continued on.

"He asked me to watch Jae and he disappeared for about 2 hours. When he returned, he was an absolute mess and he told me that he had told you and that you had told him that you never wanted to see him again. That was all he said. I left and that was the night that I was ringing you non stop and you rang me back 2 days later, bright and chirpy. All you said was that you both had separated and that you never wanted to talk about it. I knew I should had pushed you but you always used to loose your shit when I would do that."

She stopped talking and was just looking at me.

"He never told me. He never mentioned the baby, I mean Jae. We had fought a few times over my role in the New York fashion show and how we seemed to be drifting apart as we hardly spoke. The night he rung me to tell me it was over, he said that he had moved on and that I should move on too. That we were adults now and that what we had was a school yard fantasy and that he had realized this whilst I was away." My voice didn't even sound like me.

I stood up and excused myself to go to the bathroom. Ryker had lied to me, he didn't even want me to know what he had done. I felt shattered, I was angry that everyone had been dragged into this and how much of a hole it had created for us all.

I shut the door of the bathroom and just leaned my back against it. I tried to calm my breathing but I could not stop the tears as they came rolling out. I slid down the door and just sat on the floor with my head in my hands, bawling my eyes out.