Going Home.

Chapter 5.

I entered the coffee shop. I have no idea why he had picked this place. The only thing that I can think of is that it's nothing like anything we would ever go too and that there is quite a few people here.

After the revelation at Carries house, I spent the better part of the day holed up in the bathroom going through the motions. When I emerged in the afternoon, Slater was sitting in the hallway near the door waiting for me.  He gave me a note and asked that I please at least go and hear him out. So here I was, as per the note, 10am at Claytons Coffee house.

I see him straight away. He is not dressed in his usual biker attire, opting for jeans and a black button down shirt that has a few buttons at the top undone to show off his singlet underneath. I can catch a brief glimpse of the start of the tattoo that is over the top of his right pec that forms my name. He sits in a booth towards the back of the store. I make my way over and take the seat opposite him. I place my bag on the seat next to me and my phone on silent in my bag.

"I'm here as you asked." I say coldly.  I had gone over a plan in my head the night before that I was going to just use minimal words and let him do the talking. I was going to just take everything in that he said and when he was done, I was going to get up and just walk right out of there. I was going to be calm, I was not going to loose my shit and I was going to act like the mature and refined version of Mia that I have become.

"Thanks for coming Mia. I know that I owe you an apology and an explanation. This is the one place I know that never gets busy, so we can have some privacy." Ryker says.

I just look at him, awaiting for him to speak. I don't trust myself just yet to say anything rational. As he goes to speak, a waitress comes past to see if we want something. I quickly order a water, I'm not in the mood for caffeine.

Ryker takes in a deep breath and without looking at me, starts to tell me what is on his mind.

"The night that we fought about you working and being away so much was a bad night for us here. The Bandits had raided the out of town garage and had killed the mechanic. We had spent the night trying to sort it all out and I started to realize how much I hated you being away so much and how I wanted you back here. I was selfish when I rung you and laid it all on you but I was scared as it was the first time that I realized how much this life can be dangerous and how much I just wanted you here, with me."

I open my mouth and go to say something but I snap it shut and stare at him, willing him to just continue.

"After we fought, I got so drunk that I don't even recall meeting her. All I remember is that I swore it was you. I remember being ecstatic that you were back and then I don't remember much else. I remember waking up the next day and that you were not there and I tried to ring you but you would not answer my calls."

My eyebrows raise when he says that, I didn't have any missed calls from him, not even a message. He continues.

"About 8 months later, I get a call from a lady named Clarissa. She needs to meet me at the clubhouse and that she needs me to come alone as we need to discuss something. I was suspect about it all but I went and the minute I saw her, I remembered who she was. She looked so much like you, even had your smell. She told me that she was pregnant and that the baby was mine. I thought that this was some sort of joke as I did not remember ever sleeping with her but she pulled out her phone and showed pictures of us, together, and I realized what had happened."

My stomach felt sick, he let her take pictures, he took pictures with her. I felt like I was going to throw up my water. I tighten my grip on my glass to stop myself from saying anything.

"She didn't want anything from me, just to help her go through having the baby and then leaving town. Her main concern was that if something happened to her, she wanted me in Jae's life and on the birth certificate so that he would come to me. I said that I would set up a way to pay her child support and she was happy with that.  2 weeks after our meeting, she was in an accident where an ex boyfriend of hers tried to run her over. She was taken to hospital and gave birth to Jae. She died on the table that night and Jae was taken to NICU for observation. It was all a blur, I called in Bernice and Carrie to help me, I made Carrie promise not to mention anything to you until after Jae was out of hospital."

The waitress came back to see if we needed anything else. I shooed her away.

"He was not feeding well enough nor gaining any weight, so we had work in shifts to try and get him feeding so that he would gain weight and we could go home. When that day came, Carrie hauled me into the office and said I had to ring you. I took off and that was the day that I rang you and told you.."

"Don't say it." I say. " I already know that part." My voice is flat.

Ryker looks shattered, he sucks in a breath and continues. "I lied to you and I lied to Carrie, I even lied to Ariel and I hate myself for it, I lied to everyone who mattered to me as I was so afraid of what I had done. I just was so gutless. I could not admit to you what I had done and I just thought that since you had found your new life, that you would stay there and we would not have to see each other, that I would not have to admit to what I had done. I never meant for this to hurt anyone, heck I just didn't think about anything properly, I just wanted there to be some distance between us so that I could not see you hurt or have to admit to you what I had done."

I started to see red. "You thought that little of me that you would rather lie then tell me the truth, well Ryker Mason at least I... AGH!!."

I slam my hands on the table and the people close to us all jump in their chairs. "You fucking bastard. You fucking hurt me. You fucking lied to me and our friends. You had them keep a secret, unintentionally, you piece of shit. Why not man up and just tell me the truth that you got your rocks off fucking me while we were in high school but now that we are adults, you were happy to throw me to the side and find a new piece of meat. FUCK YOU! Ryker Mason. I gave you everything, I let you even brand me, heck my whole life plan was to graduate and come straight back to this town to marry you and work here forever. I fucking loved you and you pissed on it. You were such a dickhead about the whole modeling thing, but you never looked at the fact that it paid for my whole degree and left us with enough so that we could have one day brought a house. But no, now I find out that even though I had made the commitment to us to never sleep with anyone else since you, you could not keep your dick in your pants for 4 years. FUCK YOU!"

I grab my bag and take off out of the coffee shop. So much for being calm & reasonable Mia I think, Fuck I'm a basket case. I jump in my car and head back to Ariel's place.

As I pull up in the driveway, I see that Carrie is there and I realize that I don't want to deal with both of them at the moment, so I go to the one place that I used to go growing up here when I was sad, Aunt Mae's backyard cubby house.