Mrs All American - luke

44

this is like a month later after chapter 43 ok

S A M

After four years of piles of homework and endless essays, I'm finally graduating today. I'm finally graduating from college as an English major and yet, I don't feel as happy as I thought I would. I always thought graduation day would be a breeze and I'd be nothing but smiles and laughs, but it seems as though this isn't the case.

Maybe it's because none of my relatives are able to attend and see me walk. That doesn't mean that I'm not grateful that India, Dylan, and Becca are here, because I am, but it's just not the same. You know I always thought my parents would see me walk and maybe cry a little and give me flowers and tell me how proud they are, but that's obviously not happening. So maybe that's why I'm not as happy as I should be.

The past months haven't been easy, but having supportive friends has helped. It's been a tough time and some days weren't pretty, but I'm okay now. I'm not happy, just okay and that's enough for me.

"Sam, did you hear what I said?" Becca's voice makes me jump and I look over at her. She's standing in front of her mirror, doing her make up.

"I'm sorry, what?" I ask her and turn to look back on myself on the other mirror she has on the wall. India is sitting behind me, curling my hair. She insisted on doing it, seeing as I haven't done anything to it in in a while. I wasn't planning on doing anything. I was just going to let it dry by itself and let it do whatever it wanted.

When I look at Becca again and she seems hesitant. Her lips part, like she's about to say something, but nothing comes out and I furrow my eyebrows. "I asked if- has he called you to say congratulations?"

"Are you seriously asking her that?" India groans and though she doesn't mean to, she accidentally pulls on my hair a little too hard.

Of course he hasn't, why is she asking me that? I mean, why would he anyway? Most of all, why would she bring him up today out of all days? Today is supposed to be about me, about her and I, not him. I'm not expecting him to call today, or ever for that matter. I don't expect anything from him, not even an ounce of closure. I haven't spoken to him in months, why would I start now?

I've managed to avoid anything and everything having to do with him. I haven't thought about him for a while now, for some reason I just stopped thinking about him and stopped missing him. I know that I never really stopped though. I never stopped thinking about him. I never stopped missing him. I never stopped loving him. I know this because it hurts when I think about it and if it still hurts, it's because it's still matters. And it matters a lot.

"It's fine," I sigh and look down at my hands. "No, he hasn't called. He's not going to," I say once I look up again and add a few coats of mascara to my eyelashes. Some deep part inside me, sort of wishes he would and I hate myself for it.

"Can we please talk about something else?" India says in a flat voice and I remain quiet. "We don't need Sam to be sad today, out of all days."

Becca is about to say something, but the front door opens and I already know it's Dylan. "Hello? How are my favorite girls?" He asks and I hear his footsteps near. Believe it or not, we lock our door at all times now. Mostly because Dylan decided that it'd be hilarious to scare us all at two am by sneaking in and pretending to be a burglar. He said it was to teach us all a lesson. Dylan just has a key to our apartment since he's often coming over.

Dylan then enters the room with a bag in his hands. He lifts it up, waving it in the air. "I come baring gifts for tonight," he says in an excited voice. There's a smirk on his face when I look over at him.