It wasn't really that funny.
I don't think that they really understood what they were saying.
It's as if how I was feeling didn't hold any affect on how they chose to respond.
Their shrill laughter striked my ears and I became frustrated.
It's as if I couldn't get a word in anymore, and that was something I found incredibly infuriating.
That weird, exasperatingly uncomfortable feeling that develops from deep within appeared.
The one where it can get so bad sometimes that all you want to do is let it all out.
A scream to the heavens for guidance; a cry of help because nothing makes sense.
No escape from the small confines of this room, the faint light that sits in the corner, and your own aggressive self looming over your shoulder as the scene unfolds.
I for sure wasn't pleased with how they chose to mock and irritate me - it's difficult to tell where the line should be drawn sometimes.
They held hostility in their tone, cutting directly to the bone with the sharpness of their words. They had meant to push my buttons to the point where it all just started to hurt.
My head started to spin and my heart started to burn with a blazing fire.
The gaping whole that was forming in the centre of my world had swallowed everything up whole.
A very dismal and unnerving confrontation.
I thought that this was normal for some time.
It seemed to make them happy, so why shouldn't it make the situation okay?
I was prepared to sacrifice my own well-being for their crappy sense of humour.
At the end of the day, it was my own naive self that had left me almost completely crushed;
degraded to nothing by the fictitious apparent praise and approval of people I was trying to please.
Somebody had to win this torturous game,
and it sure as hell wasn't going to be me.
The surrender of myself to the other side that was going to slowly tear me apart had to occur.
There was no sense of self left,
it was so strange, almost funny, that it seemed imaginary.
Evidently, it had gone with the wind, and
I was left with that emptiness again.
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Song: xanny (Billie Eilish)
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Random, Works.
RandomThis isn't a story, just random writing/poetry ideas, imagines or thoughts that I may have and am going to add here. If you do read any, hope you enjoy!! Rankings: #1 - Quotes (2020) #1 - Good Songs (2020) #1 - Poetry (2020)
