eight.

135 6 5

by buttercuploki

by buttercuploki

is this just basically how i'm feeling? yes

"i'd better go," han told him a few minutes later, getting up from the bed. luke hid his sadness and walked him out of the castle. "bye, your highness." the boy spoke with a smile, walking out through the fields to make his way to the front gate.

luke stood there until han left, then trudged to where leia was in the cinema room. she was half asleep in her own chair, blanket pulled over her. the space show from yesterday playing.

he took the remote for himself, the girl not noticing. he curled up in his own chair holding a pillow and changed the channel.

leia suddenly jerked her head up, realised she was falling asleep and yawned. she saw luke. "i need a nap," she said to him first, remembering han and speaking again. "how was your little date?" she asked with a giggle.

luke just tightened his grip on the pillow, "i think i'm gay," he blurted out. leia's eyes widened.

"shit, wasn't expecting that." she said as she was now suddenly wide awake. "i'm proud of you, though." luke stared down at the floor, heart pounding. he felt himself tearing up.

leia must have noticed because he felt her sit down next to him, pulling him into her arms. he started to sob. they sat there for a few minutes, leia playing with her brother's hair as she soothed him.

his sobs turned into sniffles, calming himself down. "i'm sorry, i'm just.. confused." he sighed and wiped his tears away. "i've never felt this way before, i never could because we hardly saw anyone. but then han came into my life and he's just so... fascinating, and i love his annoying little nicknames and how he's just everywhere!"

leia smiled softly at luke, who continued talking. "but i don't want to feel this way, leia. i feel so gross when i know i shouldn't because there's nothing wrong with how i feel, but i still just hate it." he took a deep breath, pulling away from her.

he realised what he had just said, blurting all his feelings out. what if someone heard? anyone could be anywhere in this place. "you'll be okay." leia said, getting up from the chair herself and giving him a kiss on the forehead. "he definitely likes you, luke."

she walked away, probably up to her room. luke was distracted, staring down at the floor. he took another deep breath, changing the tv channel as he sunk back into his chair.

they sat in silence while eating dinner hours later. luke hoped he didn't look as tired as he felt, wishing he had just taken a nap like leia did. she was fine.

anakin talked about how he had gotten them a new homeschool teacher, meaning they could come back if they wanted. he heard leia talking about all the friends she already made, but he wasn't fully listening.

luke wondered how his emotions could change so quickly in the day, frowning down at his food. his father must have asked him something because he glanced up to find both of them looking at him. "huh?"

"do you still want to go to the high school? leia does but i have a new homeschool teacher that's willing to teach," luke shrugged. "alright, you can take as long as you want to decide."

he felt leia's eyes still on him as their father turned his attention back to his dinner. she looked sad. for what? for me? luke assumed yes. he just averted his eyes to his own plate again, slowly eating some of the food.

"being sad isn't gonna fix anything," leia told him after dinner as they walked to their rooms. she was catching up to him.

"i'm not sad."

"okay, you're being dramatic then!"

he stopped walking and scoffed in shock, "are you serious?" she crossed her arms and looked at him. "leia, for the first time ever i confessed to something that had been hurting me for so long. you were so nice about it! what happened?" leia's face fell slightly, hearing the pain in luke's voice.

she had no reply for that, slowly walking off again and entering her room. she locked the door behind her, leaving luke alone in the hall. this is so stupid, he thought to himself as he made his way to his own room.

flashback to my horribly dramatic IT fanfics from 2017 i hate this i hate this so much why did i write this i don't want it oh my god it's so BAD AHAHAHAHAHHAHAH stop