On The Docks | A Spot Conlon Love Story

Memories Of The Refuge

"Where weres you?! Do you knows what time it is?! Why is you soaked?! Who's jacket is this-" Jackie yells at me. But I just break down crying in front of all the boys in the lodge. Which causes them all to surround me.

"Ash, hey, what happened?" Jack asks, dropping the strict brother facade. I don't want to tell him, so I just shake my head.

"Hey, let's get youse to bed. Boys! Be quiet."

Jackie picks me up and sets me down on my bunk, I curl up into a ball and start sobbing into myself. I hear a door closing and all the boys starting to chatter.

"Hey, Ashy, do you want to say what happened?" Snitch asks, I shake my head. I feel him put his hand my shoulder, which results with me screaming

"DON'T TOUCH ME! D-D-DON'T... FU-FUCKING TOUCH ME..."

Snitch backs away and takes his hand off me.

"I'm sorrys Ash-"

"Sure you are! You said that over and over and over again.... But you will NEVER be sorry for what you did!! Never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever...." I trail off, mumbling to myself. I hear the boys talking. Then the door opens again and Jackie sits next to me.

"Hey, I got youse some watah, you can drink it when you're feelin' bettah."

"How could you let Luis do this to me?" I speak quietly. I see his reaction of shock, I hear mumbled conversations on questioning who Luis is.

"Ann-"

"Don't you DARE call me by that name!!!! That's not me!!! That's a ghost of a person I once was and will NEVER be again!!! I hate that name and I hope to NEVER hear you utter that name AGAIN!!!!" I hear him crying.

"Ashy... I'm so so so sorry I couldn't stop him... It's alls my fault... Sis... If I could goes back and gives my life to make sure that didn't happen, I would take it a millions times ovah..."

"It hurts, Jackie... Mom always warned me about that kind of stuff, but I chose to dress like a boy to stay with you anyway. I brought myself into this. It's all my fault. Mommy... Mommy..."

I close my eyes, feeling my consciousness slipping away.

I open my eyes, I see Snyder.

"What's your names?"

"I'm Francis Sullivan."

"I'm Anthony Sullivan."

He laughs.

"Welcome, Sullivan brothers, to the Refuge! Now, guard, show these two to the boys department."

I see Jackie trying to get out of his handcuffs, but they're too strong.

We walk into the room and it's a nightmare. 3 boys to a bunk, rats, feces, boys who look like they haven't eaten in days, and more horrific details.

The guard unlocks our handcuffs and then shoves us to the ground.

"Francis, what's going to happen?"

"I don't knows. Just stays close." He puts his arm around me.

"I can take care of myself, like I've done for years."

"But this is different from boys peaking into your windows at school."

I sigh, knowing he's right.

"I won't lets you be hurt, Sweetheart

I gasp for air, looking around to see some of the Newsies awake, and Jackie asleep right next to my bed. A few of the Newsies get up and surround me.

"Hey, is youse okay?" Boots asks. I nod. They all sigh of relief, which makes me laugh.

"What was that alls about?" Race asks me. I look away.

"I guess it's time for me to tell you."

After about 30 minutes, I finish explaining what happened in the refuge, leaving out the fact that me and Jack aren't named Ash and Jack. After I finish, all the boys hug me, a few of them even holding back tears.

"I'm sos sorry for always teasing ya, I didn't knows what happened to ya," Mush says.

"It's fine. And if it wasn't, Jackie or I would have told you a lot sooner."

"How old were youse two when it happ'ned?" Elmer asks, I think for a moment.

"I was thirteen and Jack was fifteen when we were there. We only stayed for a couple months though, so that's good. We left the night after... That... Happened," I explain. The boys hug me again.

"We's so sorry for ya. I'm glad you gots outa there when ya did," Crutchie says. I smile.

"Thank you guys for being so nice to me. It really means a lot."

They all get tired and head back to their bunks, off to bed. But I'm not feeling so sleepy. So I grab my book and headed to the nearest room with a light in it and read for about an hour before finally clocking out at my reading chair.