Broken Chains

Part 16

Chapter 16

We didn't talk about Derek's tears we just had sex that was something we could do anything else was beyond us right now. So we had just had sex and allowed the talking to wait until later. We got three more thumps on the wall in protest to my eager screams every time I came, but of course Derek's response every time was just to shout 'fuck off'. It didn't bother me in the least I was with my mate that was all I cared about. Eventually we fell asleep together our bodies so tightly entwined it was hard to tell which limbs were mine and which were Derek's. I forced myself to stay awake until I could hear Derek's snoring, confident now that he would be there when I woke up; I snuggled down into him and allowed myself to drift off to sleep.

I purred as I felt my sleep drifting away from me as Derek kissed the back of my neck. Kisses which turned into light playful nibbles as he heard my responses. Suddenly Derek spun me around roughly to face me kissing me gently, such tenderness that was such a contrast to the rough passion of our night together, it wasn't more loving as we're wolves deep down but it made something inside me hurt as Derek brushed the hair back from my face with his fingertips his other hand cupping my face gently as his lips brushed across mine, his kisses tasting of the salt of his tears. Despite everything they had done everything he had said and done here, he had changed yes he had done things I would never have believed him capable of but that was because I had lived in my safe little princess bubble. Knowing vaguely what he was doing out there in defence of the pack and what it was doing to him but despite knowing this I didn't comprehend it I wouldn't, but if I had would it have seemed such a monumental shift to what he was now? Whether it was or not it didn't matter this guy now was Derek maybe he had changed but so had I and anyway deep down here now that didn't matter he was still my Derek in all the ways that mattered, in his heart he was my Derek. I smiled at him,

"You didn't leave."

"I promised." He said gently twiddling my engagement ring which as always I wore on the chain with the amethyst pendant he had given me, he might have thrown that ring away but it still meant something to me.

"I know but won't they want to know where you were." He gave a laugh that as always sounded more like a cough, I bit my lip I hadn't realised how much I had missed it.

"I'm not in the pack anymore Jess. We don't give a flying fuck about each other. We band together for protection not out of loyalty. These guys have allegiance to nobody. I mean Beth is the closest thing to an Alpha but that's more because she's a slag than anything else. If one guy tries to topple her there are always five who will jump in to protect her. Dan your half brother especially he's devoted to her and he's a good guy well as good as he can be expected to be. But he's not really an alpha anyway none of these boys really want to be an alpha, rogues don't care much about hierarchy."

"But you're an Alpha." I said softly, Derek shrugged,

"We all have our place"

"Grovelling to my sister." He smiled,

"Before I was just a lapdog to the other sister." He said I looked intently at his eyes determined to find the bite there but I couldn't he wasn't trying to hurt me that was just honest. "I hold my own and I guess I'm the closest there is to second." he said without any hint of any emotion other than disgust. "I've stopped fucking her." He said after a long silence, I bit my lip not knowing what I could say to that, "a long time ago. I couldn't bear to touch her after..." he cut off and just bit his lip.

"But aren't they going to wonder when you were all night." I asked quietly, I understood what he was trying to tell me but I couldn't discuss his fucking or not fucking my sister it made something inside me hurt.