The Year of the Horse (Book two of the Almair Series) (Completed)

Chapter 21 (Edited)

Saturday and Sunday were the longest days of my life, even though I had only been alive for sixteen years.

It felt as if I didn't belong anymore, like they didn't need me, even though I was supposed to be part of the pack. I had tried to spend as much time my room as I could, only going out when I needed something to eat. Even then, I didn't eat that much, because I had turned depressed and swallowed up in self-pity, even though I didn't like it.

I felt as if I was at school all over again. Sure, being the Team Captain of the Varsity team had it's perks, making me some what popular, but I was still counted as a social outcast. Most of it was because I had my own way of doing something, and I didn't really listen to what people had to say about me.

The worst thing was, I had one of my really bad spells Sunday afternoon, where it felt like my whole soul was being ripped apart. This one was so bad, that I had actually screamed, cried, and wither in pain from it, clutching my head, because that was where most of the pressure was. No one did anything, and I had this one in the kitchen.

My family just passed me and went out into the Backyard, and completely ignored me. It was as if they didn't even care about me. I knew that there were even Wolves from our pack in the woods looking towards our house when I had screamed out like that.

The bad thing was, John didn't even stop. He just went through the front door and went to the backyard that way, and I had counted on him to be there for me, but he wasn't there for me when I had really needed him.

The whole headache took almost 35 minutes to go away, and I had been left bloodied, because I had kicked at anything and everything, wanting to get rid of the pain that was in my head. That one also left me blacking out, and when I woke up, I knew that I couldn't stay here any longer.

So, here I was, sitting at my desk and starting to write the notes that I so badly didn't want to. However, I couldn't bring myself to stay when all I had been doing was being ignored and being depressed with myself.

Faolon,

When you get this letter, I'll be away.

I'm sorry if I did anything that made you upset. It was never my intention, so please believe me when I say that.

I know that you had to say what you did, and I respect that. You were doing what an Alpha should do, putting it's pack first. Sure, I'm... well, was in the pack, you did it for the greater good.

I write this because I need to say that I am sorry for what I have to do.

I need to find out who I am, and I don't think you can help me. I know that you want to, but I know that you can't.

Please look after my family. They mean more to me than peanut butter.

I am going to miss them, but I still got to go. I can't bear to be ignored, like I am mainly at school.

With great respect,

Martha.

I put down my pencil and looked it over. I made sure that there were no mistakes and such, knowing that I was giving it to my Alpha. "Well, that's about all I can do," I mumbled, when I finished reading it. I sighed and got a new piece of paper. My heart ached, because I knew that this one I was going to hate writing.

Mom,

I am really sorry, but I have to go.

Don't try to worry about me too much. I can take care of myself. You and Dad made sure about that, and I want to make you proud.