Be My Side (Completed) ✔

3. The Bitter truth

"Did she...really...leave me, dad?" I'm completely perplexed. My hands are trembling and even my voice getting shivered. 

"Sorry dear, I am so sorry", he hugs me and weeping. 

I maybe missed the reason behind his swelling eyes before. I can't stop my tears and the warmth in my dad's hug is missing. Something is lacking. Maybe cause he is not my mom. But what happened to her exactly? Why did all these happen? A number of questions queueing in my mind. 

I burst out and scream, "Mom? Come back to me. Dad! Tell her to come back". He downs his head and sobbing. 

"How can you leave me alone like this?" I kneel down in front of her tomb, mumbling myself. "You said you will be by my side. why do you do this to me? Mom? Please come back. Why? Why? Why? Why me?" I get up, fell on her tomb, and yelled loudly "Mo.........mmm?"

Dad grabs me and carries me home. I faint but I'm still hearing my father telling me, "Come to your senses, my boy. Dad is gonna stay with you. Please open your eyes." 

I slowly slide into a deep sleep in my room. When I come to consciousness, I see my father, sitting in a chair, wandering in thoughts, crying inwards but covering out. I see every night, he is weeping by holding the frame of my mom. And me? My tears are flowing like streams of the rainy season. My dad is trying to persuade me. But I'm unable to control my eyes to not cry. My eyes became red and plumping out. I have realized my problem is I'm incapable to digest this bitter truth. My agony, It is killing me more and more, day by day. Some may lack of sources, money, strength, etc,... I'm lack of my mom, cause she's my world.

Mom's funeral is over. Everyone is busy with some of the other work. Everyone along with my dad comes back to their daily deeds, so-called routine rotten life. Only I know how much grief I'm facing now. 

A week has passed. On one rainy night, I'm frightened of thunders and my heart keeps on telling me to go to mom and hold her back. So, holding my fairy doll tight, I run to my mom's grave. My father notices the sound of the front door and started to follow me. Due to traffic and rain, I reach my mom before my dad stops me. Seeing me while sobbing like anything on my mom's tomb, my dad comforts me in his arms and brings me back to our house. Yeah, house...In the absence of my mom suddenly my happy home became just a house of walls with a roof. 

Dad asks our new maid, "Did Nick had his breakfast?"

Maid replies, "Not yet, Sir. He is refusing to have food". 

"Ok, I'll go upstairs and check him". 

Fortunately, only my room is there on upstairs. So, I have locked myself inside to not allow anyone to access my room as well as my heart. I hung myself not coming out of my room. I desist to have food properly, playing with my friend, everything I have shut. Even though I'm going to school and being with everyone around, up to me, I'm a 'lone person'. 

Now, I hang myself busy, looking out through the window, watching the falling leaves of winter by leaning on my arms on the window of my room. Dad enters my room. 

"Nick dear? Please have your breakfast. How long will you be like this? Look! Do you want me to feed?" 

I don't want anyone to feed me. "No, I don't want to eat. Leave me, alone, dad." 

He gently asks me, "Dear? Don't say that. Want to be a bad son to your mom?" 

"Noooo", I have yelled, cause I get a short temper in the meantime due to depression. 

"Then, have your breakfast. Do you remember what your mom said?" He has twisted his arms around my back and drags me close to him. 

"Your mom, Amanda wants her son to be strong and brave. She wants to see her son smiling all the time. Instead of making her proud, you're always staying in sorrow. You're not coming out, not eating anything. If you're unhappy then how can your mom's soul be happy in heaven?"  

"If I'm sad, then mom won't be happy, dad?" 

Seeing my pitiful eyes and my innocent words he gets down and holds my soft hands mildly, "Not at all. You have to be strong like your mom. She endured the pain of her brain tumor only for your sake. You have to grow up and settle in a good position. And live like a generous and humble man." 

"How dad?" 

"For that, you have to eat more to gain enough strength to survive in this terrible world. So, come, have your breakfast". 

Even though my heart does not agree I have decided to have to be strong like how dad has said. Why I don't know, again my scenes intimating something is gonna happen again.