𝐃𝐈𝐅𝐅𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 ➵ 𝐑𝐄𝐃𝐃𝐈𝐄

xix. nineteen

DIFFERENCE!

richie tozier

"richie, wake up!" i was being slapped awake by stan. "what the hell happened to you?" he asked.

music was blasting in my ears as a bunch of red solo cups surrounded me. i was outside the house, tear stains still on my cheeks.

"eddie." i answered.

"i can see, you have leaves in your hair." he said, pulling some leaves out.

"he rejected me for andrew and called me selfish for making him choose." i said sadly.

"this party sucks anyways. bill and i are going to get ice cream. do you want to come with us?" stan asked.

"fine." i said, lifting myself up from the ground.

and with that, i went and ate vanilla ice cream, wearing a hawaiian shirt, feeling like an eighth grader again; awkward and confused as hell.

the next day

i woke up to bright beams of sunshine radiating into my windows through the shutters. i was under a blanket in my room, only in a white tee and my underwear. it was noon and i could hear laughter from outside the window. i looked through the window and saw eddie and andrew sitting outside, on a blanket and looking at the clouds. it made me sick to my stomach as i ran to the bathroom and vomited up the hangover i was currently having.

after throwing up my guts plus a little extra organs, i craved for a cigarette. i opened the window, sat down on the ledge and lit it up, as i stared down at eddie and andrew.

eddie kaspbrak

i felt eyes on me, they weren't andrew's. it's the kind you feel from the back of a classroom from someone you don't even know. but i did know him; they belonged to richie. i still felt bad for what i did last night. it might have been just from confusion or some emotions i didn't know were there but it felt horrible to leave him in that room, as i felt my very own self doubt. after i left the room, my eyes welled up in tears too, i went to the bathroom, vomiting from how sick i felt. but seeing him now, i dragged him through hell and back, he looked so awful. i didn't see him smoke often but i knew he smoked from stress.

"eddie, where did you go?" andrew was waving a hand in front of my face.

"oh." i laughed it off and went back to talking to andrew.

"i know i leave in a few days, eds. but in like a month or so, i think you should come to chicago." he suggested.

"you know my mother would murder me twice if i even considered asking her to go. and it was already hard getting her to be able to go on a business trip for her job." i said.

"isn't our love something special to you?" he said.

"of course.." i said.

he kissed my cheek. "then you wouldn't second guess it." he said, boldly.

i felt bad, i didn't want to upset him.

"i'll ask her when she gets back.." i itched behind my head.

"that's my eds." he kissed me again. "i'm gonna run inside and get some more lemonade, i'll be right back." he ran to the inside of my house as my phone dinged.