Daughter of Lies - The Asgardian Avenger

Thirty Nine

Kathryn's POV

The news about my babies spread around faster then I thought it would. People gave me disgusted glances, and the shaming looks got so severe that I had begun isolating myself. Sebastian hadn't noticed them, and I didn't tell him about them because I was afraid how he would react.

He was pleased with the news of twins, but depressed and anxious about the Frost Giant baby, whom I secretly called Felix. Sebastian tended to be moody when he was upset, and I certainly didn't want to bother him in my fragile state.

I leave meals early, barely eating a thing. My stomach still grows, of course, but with the growth, I feel weaker and weaker. All I see is darkness, and I feel that may be worse than knowing how Sebastian will react.

I often disappear to the small room at the very edge of the palace where no one goes. The room is extraordinarily cold, which is good for Felix and nice for me. None of the family seems to know that I disappear, and the solitude can be good. I can breathe here, I can hear my thoughts and release my demons.

Sometimes, the silence is unsettling, another reminder of how isolated I've become and how no one seems to at least care that I disappear for hours on end, and even though my stomach grows, my ribs are pronounced and my face is sunken in.

I slip away from dinner without even eating a bite. I know that my husband sees this, but it's no concern to me. My feelings seem to have numbed to only sensing sadness, and I know this must hurt someone.

I make my way to the hidden room, a secret paradise for me. My brain burns with an ice cold fire as soon as I enter, and suddenly, I'm peaceful.

The peace is accompanied by guilt. I should be getting help. I should be eating. I should just talk to someone. I'm too afraid to reach out, too afraid to see what people would think of Asgard's queen disconnecting herself when she should be strong.

Tears roll down my cheeks. I can't do this anymore. I want Sebastian here, I want to hear his soothing voice.

I'm crashing and burning and I can't save this little baby Felix. Oh, Felix. And my other little child. The physical and emotional downfall was so quick, too quick. My hands tremble and my rib cage aches.

My sobs drown out every noise, thought, and feeling. I don't hear the door open, I don't even notice that someone came in until I feel Sebastian's strong arms around me. He holds me close, stopping the trembling and reducing the sobs to sniffles.

I press my head into his chest, breathing in his scent. Sebastian strokes my hair, kissing the top of my head. For once, the silence is everything good.

After what seems like a comforting eternity, he tilts my chin up so I can see his face and he can see mine. Tears are in his eyes.

I can tell that what he sees pains him. In only a few days, the difference is obvious. No light in my eyes, no color in my cheeks, no hope in the air that flows through my lungs.

"You have the most beautiful face I have ever seen," he whispers, and I know his words are genuine. He cups my face in his hands. "Look, Kathryn, I know that right now you're struggling. I know you're afraid. I know I haven't been there like I should have been, but I'm here now and I always will be. I love you, from the minute I saw your face in New York when I was a villain and you were the hero and I was afraid I wouldn't get to even see your face again.

"I was afraid you wouldn't accept me because of my past, because of what I had done, yet you did. You didn't care that I had been doing things I shouldn't have. You knew I was good inside, and you made me believe I could get better. I acted like I could convert so easily to being a hero, but it was hard. I nearly gave up, but I kept going when I saw your face and thought, 'I'm going to win her heart.'"

He stops for a moment and I wish he'll continue.

"You make me feel like I can be the person I've always wanted to be. You lifted me out of the dark, and I want you to know that I'll lift you up when you fall down, and I won't ever stop loving you." Sebastian searches my eyes for a reaction.

I am at a loss for words. My lips meet his before anything else.

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ok im super sorry for the really really late update but ive been extraordinarily busy these days but my holiday is coming up so more updates yay! i hope you enjoyed this confusing emotional trainwreck of an update lol

-katiethenovelist