Lost and Found

five

"Hang on, my niece? I have another niece?" Alex exclaimed loudly and I'm sure if we hadn't been sat away from the majority of people, we would have got some odd looks. 

Being a young mom wasn't something I had planned and I was well aware about how I was perceived by society because of it regardless of the circumstances of my daughter's conception. I would have been a lot more nervous telling Alex about her if I hadn't have noticed she was wearing her classic, big Alex smile on her face. Somehow telling Alex didn't seem so scary after all. She seemed excited and non-judgemental. 

"I have so many questions, show me more photos, tell me everything!" She asked excitedly, making me laugh at her. 

"Umm well I had her a week after I turned sixteen, just before my mom died, so she'll be two in the summer. She's literally my best friend since its just me and her. I get money from the courts for childcare because well, umm, her dad is umm, he is umm, well, he's in jail. He, umm. well, he..." I started to rambled nervous how she would react but Alex stayed calm and her smile never left her face. 

"It's okay Addie, you don't have to speak about him if you don't want to. There will be plenty if time to talk about that at another date. Go back to your baby. You've not told me her name yet, what's she called? Where is she just now?" Alex said getting our conversation back on track. 

I couldn't believe how calm and reassuring Alex was being especially after I had hinted at what sort of person that had gotten me pregnant in the first place. Even if Alex and I's first few days together on camp had been a bit rocky, this the relationship that we were now building, was all that I could have hoped for. I had been desperate for Alex and her sisters to at least know that they had a niece and then they could have decided whether or not they wanted to be involved in her life but seeing as so far I was the only family she had, I was also excited for her to get to know more people that will love her. 

"I was in foster care for a little bit growing up just because of Mom and I's situation after dad left us but I had a really good foster mom and she helps out whenever I need to go away for school or soccer." I paused as I felt Alex plant a soft kiss on my hair. "But umm, you might like this. Her full name is Scarlett Alexandra Hope Morgan but I normally just call her Scarley." 

As I told her, I scrolled through my photos on my phone and found one of her and I on the day she was born. My mom had taken it around an hour after I had given birth and we'd both been cleaned up a bit. I was sat in the hospital bed exhausted but cuddling the tiny baby on my chest that I was in complete awe of. I showed Alex the photo and noticed she now had tears streaming down her tanned cheeks.

"Alexandra? Like me?" She asked as we both looked through some more photos of her.

"Yeah just like you. She was really easy to name actually. I had fallen in love with the name Scarlett really early on in the pregnancy and as soon as I found out I was having a girl, I was decided that would be her name. Hope seemed fitting as I dreamed of making a better life for the both of us. And finally, I knew while I was pregnant that I was gonna be raising her by myself so I thought she would need some pretty strong role models to look up to and who is better than her Auntie Alex." 

"I can't believe you named your baby after me Addison. Especially when our family have treated you so badly. Can I meet her? Like it doesn't have to be right away but at some point?" She asked.

"Now look who's rambling. Jill knows all about her and said I'm always welcome to bring her to camp if I need to. I was hoping to keep her quiet and just try and settle in this camp before I brought my toddler into the chaos but we could facetime her at some point over the next few days if you want. And umm, maybe you could come visit if you have time after camp, when we're both back in Cali. I think if I make the roster, I'll introduce her to the team at the She Believes tournament."

Alex agreed and kissed my hair again. We sat in silence for a while just watching people but it was a comfortable silence as I relished being wrapped in my big sister's arms for the first time in my memory. Since my mom had died, I had missed having that close family connection with anyone more than I cared to admit. Every now and then, I would look up and just check I hadn't been dreaming and Alex was still there, stroking my hair and holding me tight. 

Alex kept her arm wrapped around me the whole walk back to the hotel. I stayed as close as I could knowing just how easily it would be for her to change her mind again and decide she didn't want any sort of relationship with me or Scarlett. As it was now much later than we had planned to be out and the rest of the girls had most likely all gone to bed, Alex walked me all the way back to my room where we found Mallory and Rose asleep on one bed and Lindsey asleep on my bed, most likely having fallen asleep watching a film. I laughed quietly along with Alex as took a picture of all three of them. Alex pulled me into one final hug and kissed my forehead before promising me she would see me at breakfast and leaving for her own room.

Deciding it would be more awkward to turn the light on and accidentally wake the girls, I fumbled about in the dark trying to find and eventually get changed into my pyjamas. Not wanting to make any of the girls uncomfortable when they woke up, I just grabbed a spare blanket and pillow from the cupboard and began to make myself a bed on the floor between the two beds. 

"Addison? Is that you?" I heard a voice whisper in the darkness. Seeing the figure in my bed sit up, I quickly deduced that it was Lindsey speaking to me. That would make sense seeing as she was literally one of the only girls who had decided to talk to me on her own accord.

"Yeah that's me just back. I didn't mean to wake you."

"Addie, What are you doing down on the floor?" She said noticing my pillow and blanket. "Addie, you are not sleeping on the floor in your own room! Get up here now." Her voice turning into a whisper shout. 

I quietly crawled into my bed next to Lindsey. I tried to be gentle and stay on the edge as much as possible but as soon as I got on the bed, I felt Lindsey begin to move and automatically,  my body went stiff. But Lindsey just lay down again, rolled onto her side and pulled me into her body, wrapping her arms around me. My body stayed stiff and rigid in this unfamiliar position as Lindsey spooned me, her chin now resting on my shoulder.

"See that's better. Did everything go okay with Alex? You were gone longer than I thought you would be." 

"Yeah it went amazing. We're good now." I told her, happy that someone else on the team was actually speaking to me and without Alex having to tell them to be nice to me.

"I'm glad Addie, now relax and get some sleep." 

I was away to ask if she was okay with me staying and suggest we could swap rooms for the night if she wanted to stay here when she leant forward and lightly kissed my temple and whispered a goodnight without any warning. I couldn't tell from the darkness but I could already feel the heat radiating off my face and I was positive if the lights were turned on, she would be able to see how beet red I had gone. 

"Addie, I said relax." She told me again.

Noticing my body was still stiff, I let out a deep breath and let my body calm down. Lindsey was still holding me and cuddling my smaller body. I could feel her hand that wasn't wrapped around me, playing with my hair gently and I finally let my eyes close and sleep takeover.