Lost and Found

twelve

Scarlett woke up around half past five and began crying for me to get her out of her travel crib. One thing I quickly learned after having Scarlett- there is no such thing as a lie in with a baby. I lifted her up and gently shushed her, knowing that she was only ever fussy for the first five minutes of the morning and then she would be back to her happy self.

"Can Mama get a kiss this morning?" I asked her pouting my lips until she happily obliged and giggled at me.

"Mama. Lindy." She giggled pointing to the sleeping blonde still in my bed.

"Clever girl. Lindy is still here. Go and sit with her so Mama can make you a baba." I said putting her down on my bed then turning around to fill her bottle up with milk. 

I turned around when I heard Lindsey groan loudly only to see my daughter giggling sitting on top of Lindsey's stomach, looking down at her. I grabbed my phone and took a picture of the two of them.

"You're lucky you're cute missy." Lindsey said tickling her gently.

"Scarley I said go sit next to Lindy not on top of her. It's way too early for Lindy to be awake." 

"It's fine now hand me that baba and get back into bed so I can have both my cuddle buddies." Lindsey replied. 

At breakfast, Mal and Alex sat with Scarlett and I and Lindsey chose to sit away from us. At first I was a little hurt but I assumed seeing as she'd spent all night in my room, she might just want to speak to other people. The same thing happened on the bus to training. Alex sat next to us on the bus with Allie and Kelley opposite, pulling silly faces at Scarlett the whole time.

I was a concerned about how training would go seeing as I also had a baby to look after but Alex and I had both brought an armful of things for her to play with and if worst comes to worst, I had downloaded a couple of shows on to my phone she could watch. Secretly I was hoping she would take a nap in her stroller for the majority of training as that would allow me to get on and focus on the soccer. 

I didn't have to worry too much because all the girls were taking it in turns to entertain Scarlett and she did sleep for most of the session. The goalkeepers finished their training slightly earlier than us and I noticed Ashlyn go pick Scarlett up as she had started to get fussy. I was a bit concerned as I didn't know Ashlyn that well but Alex assured me she was great with kids and Scarlett was in good hands. I knew Ashlyn played club with Alex so decided I would have to try and get to know her, and Ali as well, a lot better.

After training Scarlett had been extremely restless and I was struggling to get her to calm down and settle. I wasn't sure whether it had been the change in routine, the cross country flying or just the fact she was overwhelmed but she was having a hard time at camp and it made me question my decision to bring her with me. 

Asking for help wasn't something I normally did but I had been making a point to be more open and let Alex in so I decided to just grab Scarlett and some of her stuff and go to her room. I rushed over and banged hurriedly on the door in a hope that Kelley or her would answer quickly but got the shock of my life when Ali answered. 

"Hey Addison, you okay?" She said as she took a minute to look me over.

"Sorry I thought this was Alex's room. Umm I'll just go then." I stuttered out. 

"Hey hey, you're fine. Alex and Kelley's room is next door but I think they just went out. Come in a minute. It's just me and Ash here." She said opening the door wider and letting me step in. 

Scarlett was still crying and I wasn't very far away from joining her and I was pretty certain Ali could tell. She led me over to the bed Ash was relaxing on but when she saw me she jumped up and took Scarlett from me. I stood a second and watched as Ash bopped her up and down and started to gently shush her. Ali handed me a water bottle and sat down on the bed quickly pulling me into her arms. I flinched at first but Ali just proceeded to hold me and softly whisper to keep breathing and that we were all okay. Knowing she had seen my last panic attack, I knew she was most likely worried it would happen again. 

"She's not normally like this and I promise normally I can get her to calm down without an issue or any sort of help. I just thought maybe Alex could distract her but it's never been this bad. I promise I'm better than this." I told them at a million miles an hour.

"Hey, hey, don't get yourself worked up. You're good here Addie." Ash said as Ali continued to hold me.

"Addison we know you're a good mom. But even the best moms sometimes need help and that's what family does, we help each other. Ash and I just want to look out for you, for the both of you." Ali told me. 

"100% kiddo. I think if you didn't already have Alex looking out for you, we would have stolen you for ourselves." Ashlyn said as I smiled up at her and noticed she had finally got Scarlett to settle in her arms. "Now make some room on the bed for us to come and snuggle you and put a movie on."

I don't know how long I slept but when I woke Kelley was now on the bed next to me, holding Scarlett and watching one of her shows with her and Ali and Ashlyn were sat with my sister, talking quietly on the other bed. 

"Hey sleepyhead you okay? Ali said you'd been looking for us." Alex said now noticing I was awake.

"Yeah I am now. Scarlett was fussy and I think I just panicked a little bit. We both got up pretty early this morning so I think we were both just tired."

"You know you could have just called me. I would have came straight back if I knew you needed me." Alex said.

"I know but Ali and Ashlyn were here and they really helped."

"I already told you kiddo, we're family now." Ashlyn told me making me smile. "We've got you whenever you need any of us."

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Honestly think I love hearing from you guys more than I enjoy writing the book! Y'all are just so sweet! Keep sending me your comments and messages of what you want to happen because its gives me so much inspiration to actually write but hopefully I'm doing alright.