Lost and Found

ten

Had to take a small break from posting but I'm all good so should be back to posting regularly now!

*

After two weeks of being back to school and hating being all by myself again, I cracked and phoned Alex up. I hadn't realised how lonely my life was until I'd spent time with all the girls and they had showed me what I had been missing.

"Alex I know it's last minute but are you free today, to come round or something. You know what? It's a stupid idea- you're probably already busy." I rambled to her before she eventually cut me off.

"Addie! I have nothing on today. Calm down. Give me an hour and I'll be over to see two of my favourite girls.

"Okay, okay. You still remember where I live right?" I asked.

"Yes Addie. I remember. I only dropped you off the other week." She replied with a chuckle.

The minute Alex hung up, I started cleaning my small apartment like a mad-man. Not only did I want Alex to like my tiny home but I was suddenly overly aware that Alex could alert my social worker of any concerns she had about me and I could get Scarlett taken away from me. I don't think I could cope without Scarlett- my entire world revolved around her.

When I eventually stopped cleaning to open the door, I was out of breath and could feel the heat off of my cheeks.

"Hey Addie... Jesus! Are you okay?"

Alex immediately placed the back of her hand against one of my red cheeks in concern. 

"I'm good Alex. I was just cleaning up before you came over."

"Addie. I don't care if it's messy, I don't care if your apartment is a complete disaster. I want to see you and Scarlett, that is all. Now, speaking of my little niece- where is she?" Alex asked as she gave me a hug.

"I left her playing with her toys so hopefully she's not got herself into trouble."

Alex followed me out of my small hallway and into my kitchen and living space where Scarlett was playing with her blocks. Despite housing both our living area and kitchen, the room itself was still pretty small and I was sure Alex had probably stayed in hotel rooms bigger than my whole apartment. The furniture in the living room was also very limited. I had a sofa that pointed towards by tv unit. I couldn't afford cable right now but Mary had managed to find someone selling a cheap dvd player for us and a whole bunch of secondhand dvds that we relied on for now. In between them was a large fluffy rug that my daughter was sat on surrounded by her toys. 

"Scarley, Auntie Lex has come over to play! You gonna come and say hi?" I said now getting Scarlett's attention. 

She stood up and ran over to me hiding herself in my legs. I lifted her up so she could see Alex better but she just hid her head in my neck and cuddling close to me.

"There's no need to be shy. It's just Auntie Lex. Come on, you speak to her every night on Facetime." I said trying to encourage her to at least say hi to Alex.

I had dreamed forever of Alex and Scarlett having this special bond. From the day she was born, I had hoped she would always have family to turn to and if she were to ever lose me like I had lost my own mother, she would still have family to love and support her. But this was not the meeting I had envisioned for my daughter and sister. 

I had been so desperate for this perfect moment that tears began to run down my face at the realisation of my reality. Alex quickly noticed and led me and Scarlett over to my sofa. 

"Hey hey Addie. Don't cry. You're okay. Scarlett just needs some time to warm up to me okay?" Alex said as if she was reading my mind. "I'm sure once I've been over a few times and we've had a camp together we'll be best friends. Okay?"

I nodded and leaned into Alex, still holding Scarlett tightly. All three of us sat in silence for what seemed like forever but realistically couldn't have been longer than fifteen minutes before Scarlett slid off my lap and went back to her toys on the floor which allowed Alex and I to speak for a bit.

"So you never told me." Alex started. "Did school go a bit crazy once you got back? You know? Being on the national team and all."

I scoffed.

"I'll be honest Alex, I don't think anyone noticed I was even gone." I told her honestly and it was true. Even some of my teachers hadn't noticed I'd been missing for two weeks.

"What do you mean?"

"Alex. I'm the teen mom who had her baby daddy put in prison- I'm hardly little miss popular. If anything, I'm a bit of a loner at school. Same goes for my soccer club." I stated matter of factly.

Although it still bothered me, it was definitely less than it used to. I always had Scarlett and now I had Alex and the rest of the team.

"What about the rest of the girls? Are they still keeping in touch with you? I know they really wanted to." She asked.

"Yeah they are. I can't wait to introduce Scarlett to them at the next camp though. They all keep asking to facetime and I keep having to say no because I'm either at school, training or with Scarlett. I hate that she is some sort of secret. It makes it seem like I'm ashamed of her and I'm not. I love being her Mama." I explained to Alex.

"Addie, I know you're not ashamed of her and the rest of the team will understand why you didn't mention her beforehand. Anyway, don't think of it as keeping a secret, we're surprising them with Scarlett. Plus, I needed some time first to make sure she knows I'm gonna be her favourite Aunt before she's surrounded by all her new soccer aunties." Alex said, making us both laugh and easing my fears.

Our laughter got Scarlett's attention and she came over and stood in front of Alex and tapped her knee. Alex got up and moved to sit on the play mat I had in the living room for Scarlett and I watched on as Scarlett followed her and sat beside her. 

Alex let Scarlett led all the play and although she wasn't really playing since she was still quite little, she was happy enough to let Alex touch her toys and start to interact with her. It was slow, mainly Scarlett playing and then looking up to see what both Alex and I were doing but then she began to show Alex some of her toys and demanding that "Lex! Look!" 

Eventually, I went to the kitchen to grab some drinks for us and came back to Scarlett sat in Alex's lap.

"I think we're gonna be alright Addison." Alex said to me with a smile.