Don't Leave Me

Chapter 12

I stared at the wall. My first were clenched around the blankets on the bed and my body trembled slightly. I had woken up two days after the attack. I also hadn't left Nadia and Peter's house since. Peter had taken Mina to the pack house while they prepared for the massive burial that was taking place later today. One hundred and thirty-six people died in the attack. Over two hundred were injured. Most of them men or women fighters. Near the end of the attack a few rogues broke into the pack house and killed a few mothers and children. All I could hear was Nadia's scream followed by Peter's heartbroken howl at the loss of his mate. It rang in my ears and my head pounded. 

It was all my fault. I should have just gone with him. I could have prevented her death if I had just submitted. I growled in frustration. I would happily give my life for any of theirs. I heard the door open and I tensed. I knew it was Cade but I hadn't expected him this early. He had been staying with the lycans since I woke up. I told him I needed to be alone. That was just me being stubborn. I knew I needed him. He quietly walked in front of me and gently pulled me off the bed and into his arms. His warmth spread through me and I welcomed it briefly...but then I pushed him away. He sighed but took a step back.

"Have you eaten anything?" His voice was low and full of concern.

I shook my head no and crossed my arms. Every time I looked at him, I thought of how Peter must be feeling. I didn't deserve to have a mate let alone have one like Cade who had been so considerate of my feelings. 

"Come downstairs and eat something...please. It doesn't have to be a lot... and we don't have to talk...or touch." He paused and stared at me intently. "Please Aiyanna."

His voice brought me to the edge and a few tears slipped down my cheeks. I hadn't cried this much since my family died. I glanced at him as he motioned for me to follow him. He looked exhausted. Neither of us had slept. We couldn't sleep apart anymore, but that didn't stop me from pushing him away. I didn't deserve happiness while Nadia lay cold in the basement of the pack house. 

I followed him out of the room and to the stairs. I stopped briefly at the top and looked over at her room. Every time I walked passed it, I felt as if I would throw up. I shook my head and tore my eyes away from the door before continuing down the stairs. I entered the kitchen and froze. Peter was standing on the other side of the counter with a cup of coffee in his hands while it rested on the table. My heart stopped. He look up at me and forced a small smile. He obviously hadn't slept. He was wearing a baggy t-shirt and his hair was a mess. 

"Peter." I whispered barely audible to any ears, but he heard me.

He left his coffee on the counter and walked around it. He stopped briefly in front of me and I honestly thought that he would hit me...scream or curse me...but instead, he hugged me. He hugged me like his life depended on it. I hugged him back and the tears ran unencumbered down my cheeks. He sobbed too.

"It's not your fault." His hoarse voice broke through the tears. "Stop blaming yourself."

His words broke me. My knees gave out and we slid to the floor. My body was racked with uncontrollable sobs. I thought I was done crying like this but I was wrong. Peter wrapped his arms around me and held me to his chest. 

"We have to get through this together. We need you to be strong...you're the strongest one of us all." He let out a small laugh. "Nadia would kill to see you crying this much."

We pulled apart and I looked at him. We leaned up against the wall and he sighed.

"Hell I think this is the most emotion I've ever seen from you." he said smirking sadly.