D.I.C.E.

Chapter 20: Don't hide anymore

Nate

I slowly woke up from my dreamless slumber, seeing my clock on my bedside table and telling me its 6:00 in the morning. I slowly sat up and rubbed my sleepy eyes until I caught something on the same table again; it is a key with a braille code on it's head.

The key of the D.I.C.E. club room.

I questioned my thoughts until I remember the events yesterday; The kidnapping, talking to Anthony, and deciding to leave the club. I must fell asleep after crying too much.

Huminga ako ng mamalim at tumayo sa aking higaan para pumunta sa banyo. Nang humarap ako sa salamin, napansin ko na suot ko pa rin ang damit na ginamit ko kahapon. Hinubad ko ito at naligo. Nagpalit kaagad ako ng school uniform at hinanda ang aking mga gamit.

Tiningnan ko muli ang susi na nakalagay sa bedside table ko, pinag-iisipan ko kung kukunin ko ba ito para sa akin o ibibigay ko ba ito kay Anthony. 

Masyado na akong pagod para magkipag sagutan ulit sa kanya.. Kinuha ko ito at binulsa na lamang bago ako lumabas sa aking silid. Paalis na sana ako pinagpasya na hindi kumain ng agahan nang marinig ko ang ingay na nanggagaling sa kusina. I went over too look and my eyes widen on what I saw,

"Goodmorning, Nate." Anthony greeted as he set a plate of toasted bread with bacon and eggs on the table. He was wearing his school uniform and sat down to the table to eat. My mind began to ask so many questions until I managed to ask one.

"A-ano ginagawa mo dito?" Tanong ko. Tiningnan ako ni Anthony na parang may nakalimutan akong bagay na dapat ko alam.

"I told you that I will take care of you after what happen yesterday. It is also the medic's order to look after you. Don't worry it's just for a week." he simply said.

I tried to remember that memory but, nothing came up. Naalala ko lang ang oras na nag-usap kami tungkol sa desisyon kong umalis ng club. Anthony somehow notice my distress and decided not to push it instead, he called my attention to eat breakfast before going to school.

"How are you feeling?" tanong niya sa akin bago niya kagatin ang toasted bread niya. 

"Okay lang...at least nakatulog ako ng mahimbing." sagot ko at tumango na lamang siya.

"Naalala mo pa ba yung pinag usapan natin kahapon?" 

Tumango na lang ako at narinig ko siyang huminga ng malalim na parang gumaan ang kanyang pakiramdam dahil naalala ko ang aming pag uusap.

I still remember clearly his hug and his soothing words of comfort. It feels different because no one was really there for me when I am having a mental breakdown especially many people bully me.

I glanced at Anthony who is silently eating his breakfast. I really appreciate his help but I can't help but to feel sorry that I cause trouble to him because of my childhood trauma.

"I'm sorry.." I said and he glanced up.

"For what?" he asked and I hung my head low before continuing,

"For being a trouble. Pasensya na nakita mo yung side ko na iyon. Feel ko masyado na kitang na-abala at dumagdag pa ako sa problema mo." sabi ko.

"It's alright, Nate. Natural lang sa iyo na maging ganun matapos yung nangyari sa iyo. No need to feel sorry because it is my choice to take care of you." sagot niya, "Anyway, we need to go. We still have classes to attend." Tumango na lamang ako at tumayo sa aking upuan para kunin ang aking bag habang si Anthony ang nag hugas sa aming mga pinggan kahit na sinabi ko na ako na kasi siya ang bisita.

Binati kami ng landlady bago kami lumabas ng building at lumakad patungo ng West Xavier High. It is a peaceful walk through the neighborhood and there are only few people on the streets during this hour.  

"Nate, can I ask you something?" Anthony called my attention, "About yesterday, I know its a sensitive topic but, do you happen to have a fear of close spaces?  Hindi mo kailangan sagutin ang tanong ko kung hindi ka komportable." 

I bit my lip and realize that Anthony is also a detective. Since I don't remember some of my actions yesterday, he may noticed something off. 

"No, I'm alright when I am put inside a small room but, I am not okay when someone trap me in a room or anything." I said. 

"They called it, Cleithrophobia. I gained it when I was still young."

"What happened?" He asked.

"I..I was bullied when I was a kid. Masyado kasi ako mabait at matalino kaya madami sa mga kaklase ko ang naiingit sa akin dahil palagi na lang ako napapansin. Kinaibigan nila ako and I thought they have a good intentions to me pero, mali ako. They began backstabbing me and getting me in troubles until one day, isa sa kanila niyaya akong samahan siya sa storage room kasi may nakalimutan daw siya roon. Doon na nila ako kinulong at iniwanan." sabi ko, nanginginig sa takot nang maalala ko ang pangyayaring iyon.

"P-paano ka nakalabas?" Anthony questioned, fearing that I may breakdown if he ask another questioned. I took a deep breathe and smiled at him sadly, mentally telling him that it's alright,

"A janitor somehow heard my cries and sobs. He helped me and c-contacted my p-parents about it." I answered, "T-that is also the day..my parents died." 

"Nate, you don't need to tell the whole thing if you're no-"

"It's my decision. Also, narinig ko na kinuwento ng landlady sa iyo tungkol dun kahapon." sabi ko. Hindi na siya umimik at nagpasya akong magpatuloy.

"My parents are worried sick about me. I never told them what is happening in school because I don't want to be a burden. They died in an accident nung papunta na sila para sunduin ako nung araw na iyon. Hanggang ngayon, sinisisi ko pa rin ang sarili ko sa nangyari sa kanila. Kaya, pinasya ko na umalis na lang sa club kasi ayoko maging burden sa iyo and I don't want you to worry about me anymore. You already said it yourself in the past and I should have listen, I should go back to be a normal student." sabi ko.

Hindi na ako nakarinig ng salita galing kay Anthony at hindi na rin ako tumingin sa kanya bagkus, tumingin na lamang ako sa sahig, pinapanood ang bawat hakbang na aking ginagawa. 

"Nate, sa tingin mo ba na kapag umalis ka sa club, magiging maayos ang lahat? Oo sinabi ko sa iyo na maging normal student ka na lang but, I only said that with pure hatred towards you. I already told you that you are a great leader and you're just ignoring that? Do you think I will stop worrying about you after what happen yesterday? No, Nate. You will worry me more because of your selfish decision on leaving without thinking the effect of it to others." Anthony sternly said keeping his tone neither harsh nor mad.

"Also you promised remember? You promised me that you will help me to uncover the truth about Christine's death. Are you also ignoring that?" My eyes widen and looked at Anthony who is keeping a neutral expression pero alam ko na concern siya sa akin.

Ang tanga ko, nangako ako na hindi ko naman itutupad. Tama siya, I am selfish. Thinking only what's best for me and ignoring the effects of it.

"But, I don't want to be a burden..." sabi ko. 

Anthony exhaled, "You will not feel that if you just open up, Nate. I'll be here to listen as a friend to you. Just, try it."

Open up...since when was the last time I did that? Should I give myself a chance to have a friend to be there for me once again?

"I'll try and sorry for everything I did wrong.." I said. Anthony smiled and patted my shoulder, "Glad to hear that."

Hindi nagtagal, nakaabot na kami sa West Xavier High. Dumeretso kami sa club room kasi may kukunin si Anthony na case file para basahin. Nang maabutan namin ang pintuan, napansin namin ang isang sulat na nakaipit roon.

Kinuha ito ni Anthony at binuksan ang envelope, nakita ko na nanlaki ang kanyang mga mata puno ng gulat nang makita niya ang nasa loob nito,

"Anthony? Are you alright?" tanong ko na kung saan nakuha ko ang kanyang atensyon. Humarap siya sa akin at nilabas ang bagay na nasa envelope, isang maliit na manika na gawa sa barley straws.

"Scarecrows..."

******