Finding the Missing Piece: Book 2

Chapter Fifty-Four

Peeta POV- (Midnight)

I feel really bad about how I kind of broke down with Katniss earlier, it wasn't my intention at all.

It's just really hard for me to express my emotions about the past.

I know I've told Katniss almost everything but some things are better left kept secret, until they aren't.

Aside from the obvious, the reason I have such a hard time with that period of my life is because I remember so well how my mother lashed out on me everyday for months after her parents died.

I know now how awful it must have been for her but it wasn't my fault.

Plus, she didn't lash out at David or Ryan or even my father.

It's a time I want to forget but I'm too often reminded of when thinking of my mother's side of the family.

Katniss fell asleep at the kitchen table so I carried her upstairs then came back down here.

I couldn't sleep in there.

It felt like I was suffocating in there.

I don't know what's going on to be honest.

Everything was okay after our conversation but I guess I just need to be alone right now, even if she is asleep.

I don't know what I need, really.

So I sneak upstairs across the hallway and I start to paint.

I stay in there until about four in the morning, finding myself uninspired with anything but Katniss.

I paint a canvas and cover it with one of the beautiful shots Clove got of Katniss and I together.

I even pull out a few of my old sketch books and look through pictures I haven't seen in quite some time.

Katniss asleep in my bed.

Katniss asleep in her bed from my point of view on the floor.

Katniss laughing.

Prim and Katniss watching a movie together.

Katniss reading a book.

Katniss doing homework.

More and more pictures of Katniss, the occasional flower or tree and then sketches of Katniss and I together.

She's definitely the inspiration for everything I create.

Always my muse.

I swear, every picture I draw of her just gets more better and better too, more realistic.

I guess it's because I've spent so long studying her features and drawing them over and over, it just became easier and something natural.

I find so many more pictures include her, it's a little creepy to anyone who didn't know how much I love her.

I look like I am some crazy stalker, like Dylan.

It looks like I'm obsessed with her and maybe I am, but not in the same way Dylan is.

That's beside the point.

She's my fiancée, I have a reason to be obsessed with her.

She's my everything.

I have pictures of Katniss looking up, down, left, right, I have her from behind, sitting down, smiling, laughing, sleeping, you name it.

It is an extremely weird thing to anyone who is not an artist and does not understand the concept of beauty and art.

Katniss isn't even an artist and she understands, even if she doesn't agree with me about her beauty.

It's ridiculous the number of art pieces I have that involve her.

She always tells me I have an eye for beauty.

I remember before I met her, I just painted things like trees, or flowers, or whatever amused me at the time.

Sometimes, I would draw things that I saw in my dreams or imagined in books and I would even paint sunsets.

Once I met Katniss, all I could think about was her, so that's what I drew.

That's what I draw.

At about four in the morning, I decide to go back to bed, to try to sleep but I can't.

At five, I call my Dad and tell him I won't be in to work today and then start cleaning our already spotless house.

From top to bottom, I re-clean everything.

At sunrise, I start making Katniss some breakfast and I look out the window to see 7ft snow drifts and smile.

I couldn't have gone to work, even if I wanted to, the drifts are way too high.

Neither of our cars would have made it and I don't even know if we can get out the door.

But that means, I have at least today if not tomorrow to spend with her.