Misery loves my company

Chapter 5

Matthew's POV

"She did what?" I asked basically jumping for joy. "Yeah," Lindsey said looking down shyly, trying not to blush. "That's great!"I said flipping my wrist.

"I don't want to rush it though, she said she thinks she likes me, I told her that the feeling was mutual, and I really don't want to scare her off, you know?" Lindsey said, putting her hand on my shoulder, trying to calm me down.

Okay, maybe I was beginning to get ahead of myself with the entire Lindsey and Lisa thing. I was starting to make Lindsey feel uncomfortable, I could just tell I was. I need to stop pushing it with her, she's human, she has to make her own decisions, and obviously, I was making her feel so insecure.

"I'm sorry, Lindsey... I just really hope that you and Lisa get together, because I want you to have a real relationship. I know I've been making you feel so insecure about everything, and I'm really sorry..." I rant on and on until she grabs my arm.

"It's fine. I know you want this just as much as I do, but I need time, and I need to wait it out to see what happens, and ever since that kiss, I've been so confused on how to continue waiting. I feel like she wants to be with me, but then I remember her telling me that she only thinks she likes me, and I just don't know what to do..." She said shutting up really quickly as we saw Lisa approaching us.

"Hey Lisa," I say smiling with my rosy red cheeks. "Hey Matt, hey Lindsey..." Lisa said looking down halfway, then brushing her hair out of her face.

Lindsey's POV

Why was she acting so awkward to me... We haven't even held a decent conversation since last night when she kissed me.

Why did she even kiss me?

I feel so intoxicated, just craving her lips. I want to kiss her so badly, but I don't want to feel like I'm rushing her into something she's unsure of.

I wish she would make up her mind, and stop making me feel this way. I feel as if I need to tell her how I feel, but i fear if I do that then I'm rushing her.

Rushing her is the one thing I absolutely don't want to do to her. If she doesn't tell me something soon, I'm gonna have to tell her...

"Hey Lisa," I said smiling, really calm like. "Hey... can we talk later?" Lisa said, really surprising me.

"Yeah, you want to ride home with me?" I ask hesitantly.
I figure if she wants to talk, it would be better in person, right?

"Yeah, I'll meet you after school," Lisa said smiling again, not looking as shy as before.

"Sounds cool," I said as the bell rang for lunch to be over. I walked with Matthew and Lisa to U.S. History, as soon as I turned the corner to go into the classroom, a huge boy ran into me, knocking me onto my butt. "Hey man, watch where you're going," I said grabbing Lisa's hand, standing on my feet again.

"What a jerk," Lisa said as we took our seats. Lisa sat right next to me, what feels closer and closer everyday.

I absolutely could not pay attention in class, I kept looking at her. How pretty she was, made me feel a little nervous about 'talking' later.

What did she want to talk about? About us? About how there would never be an us? I have to stop over thinking it, until we actually talk. All I'm going to do is make myself depressed thinking of the negatives.

The rest of my classes went slow from that point, I just want to know what she's thinking.

The bell rang for school to be over, and I walked to my car to already see Lisa standing there waiting for me to unlock the door.

We got in and turned up the radio, and the song that was playing went off and the song with the most irony had to have come on that second.

The song we danced too... The song we kissed too.

I changed the channel pretty quickly and some song with great bass was playing. That was a lot better...

We arrived to my house, and went straight to my room. I threw my bag in the corner, then sat down on my bed.

"So... What did you want to talk about?" I asked looking all around the room, to avoid eye contact, but looked at her anyways.

"I came out to my parents, and they were cool with it, which is very surprising," Lisa said, sitting next to me taking a deep breath. "That's great!" I said smiling, then reaching for my pack of gum.

Before I could reach it, Lisa grabbed my arm, "I don't think I need to question myself about who I like anymore..."

Oh god, here it is. This could go two different ways. I was completely shocked and had no words to say.

What is it that she wants? Does she actually want to be with me?