Chapter 5

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I am sitting in the chair when suddenly there is a knock. My heart races so fast that I can feel it beating.

"Come in," the counselor says. I hear footsteps walk into the office behind me as the counselor walks around her desk and sits down. I look to my left, face red and heart beating fast.

I know Jaimie's sitting in the seat to my right. I

know that the counselor's going to make me tell her about my scars. There's no avoiding it anymore, she's already here. With my fists tight, holding my sleeves in place, I take a deep breath and look up. "So, Jaimie," the counselor says. "Luka wanted to apologize and explain why he freaked out."

Even though I was looking at the counselor and

not Jaimie, I could still feel her eyes piercing through me, silently judging. "I'm... Sorry." I said, closing my eyes as a tear rolled down my cheek. It felt like I'd lost all control of my emotions. I take a deep breath in and out, wipe the tears forming with my sleeve, and finally gather the courage to look over at Jaimie. "I'm sorry for yelling at you... It's just-"

"Your bipolar?" She Interrupted me, face in

tears. Her eyes and cheeks were red as she took slow, deep breaths. I must've really scared her because Jaimie wasn't one to cry easily. "I'm sick of that excuse, Luka!"

I look at her, shocked. After a few seconds of

awkward silence, I open my mouth and start with, "I'm sorry, I-" before stopping. I considered what I was about to do, all the outcomes and how Jaimie would take it. I looked down at my sleeves again.

"You what?!" Jamie said, in a loud, almost

screaming voice. I wondered why the counselor wasn't butting in as I haven't seen Jaimie this angry in years.

I clenched my sleeve that covered my right

arm, took a deep breath and held it there for a second before pulling back my sleeve and revealing the scars that were left. I stared down at my arm, waiting for someone to say something. The counselor was silent and when I looked up at Jaimie, her mouth was covered with her hand.

My face turns a bright red and I pull my sleeve

back down, making sure to cover my hand as well. I look down at my lap as tears, one again, start to roll down my face.I start to wipe my tears as Jamie gets up and hugs me.

I wasn't sure what I was feeling anymore. I

knew I couldn't cry but I also couldn't smile. Calm, maybe? That's not the word, though. I wasn't calm. I was just... not happy, sad, or angry.


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