Crazy Baby

Chapter 23

The music started slowing, but we couldn't stop dancing. I kept my hands around her waist as she kept her hands around mine. Kevin went back to bullying me and the whole school hates me now because I was able to get with the prettiest girl in the school. Me and Ava stared into each other's eyes, smiling as the final slow dance song of the night came on. It was perfect, just us. It felt like nobody else was there.

I came to a rude awakening of Ava being ripped away from me and the punch being poured all over me. 'That's right,' I thought. 'This is prom, we're in the school gymnasium.'

I stood there for a second, taking deep breaths and pulling at my wet, tight clothes. I held back the urge to punch someone in the face as I looked around at everyone laughing at me. "There's no way she'll like you now," One of the people said. "With all of this punch all soaked up in your suit, why would she want to dance with you?"

I looked over at Ava, worried that what the person was saying might be true. My eyes widened at the sight of her shocked face and hand covering her mouth. She began to walk towards me and reached out for my arm, but I yanked it away.

All of the sudden, everyone's laughter started to die down as they all looked towards the door. I looked up, as well. PB and Adrian stood in the doorway as Ava walked towards them. "It's time to go, Ava." PB said.

"But, Ponyboy, I-"

"How many times have I told you not to call me that?!" He snapped at Ava.

"Sorry..." She started walking out the door as Adrian patted her on the back, as if to assure her it was alright. She stopped for a moment. "Can we at least help Luka out?"

I watched as PB's deafening glare came over to me, sending chills down my back. "Help someone like him?" He looked absolutely disgusted by me, unlike all the other interactions I've had with him. "Come on, Ava. We need to get home now."

I clenched my fists, still trying to hold back from hitting someone. I felt like I was about to cry but my face was wet with punch so the tears refused to come out. I watched as Adrian rubbed Ava's back as she looked down and followed her brother outside. I could feel everyone's eyes on me as they stared me down, whispering to each other and holding in their chuckles. I couldn't take how prom was going anymore and my face no longer refused to cry as the punch on my face was now dry and sticky. The tears running down felt odd rolling off the punch that remained on my face but I couldn't help myself as the whispers in the room grew to a loud chatter.

I ran out of the room, making my way outside the building. I made it out in time to see Ava, PB, and Adrian driving away in their fancy car. I ran to my car, jumping in and slamming my head on the wheel. My thoughts were crowded yet my mind was fuzzy at the same time. I couldn't think straight, I didn't know what to do. I cried my eyes out, holding the wheel tight with both my hands and hitting my head on the wheel over and over again. 'Ava deserves so much better than me...' I thought. No matter how much I knew it wasn't my fault how the night went, I still couldn't help but think it was completely my fault, that I should be ashamed of myself and Ava shouldn't like someone like me. No one likes me, so why would she?

I shoved my keys into the car and turned them aggressively, tears still streaming down my face. I started driving down the nearly empty road, as most of the cars that were on it earlier were heading to the school prom. I drove fast, almost speeding so fast down the road that I couldn't see where I was going. Internally, though, I knew, even through my blurry vision from the tears. I took every turn I needed to, throwing myself side to side as I sped down the road.

When I got home, I almost got thrown out of the car from how fast I braked the car in the driveway. I jumped out, slamming my door shut and running inside, slamming the front door and running up to my room, where I also slammed that door shut. I slowed to a walk that was like I was about to collapse, in which I fell onto my bed and let the empty in my chest take over. I wasn't sure if I could cry anymore or if crying was the best option. I didn't know what to feel anymore, I felt like it was me who fucked up. 'Of course it is,' I thought. 'It's always my fault. I'm always the one to fuck up.'

I layed on my bed, hugging my blanket as the thoughts, 'I'm such a fuck up, it's my fault, Ava doesn't like me, she's just pity dating me,' flooded my mind and cyled. I layed there until I drifted off into the blackness that my deep sleep brought to me. I wished I could live in that blackness forever.