Crazy Baby

Chapter 21

I jump up from my bed, sweating and panting after having a nightmare about yesterday. I run my hands through my hair and take a deep breath before calming down. I get up from my bed and pace around my room. I paced and paced all round, thoughts of what happened filling my head. ‘Why did I freak out like that?’ I ask myself. ‘Why didn’t I go back to check on Kevin?’

It clicked in my head that I should probably do that sooner than later so I pick up my phone and open up our messages, lingering on that screen for a little while. I turn off my phone and throw it on my bed without saying anything to Kevin. ‘He probably doesn’t want to hear from me.’ I sigh, sitting down and running my hands through my hair again. 

He did get pretty mad at me yesterday. He couldn’t have just forgiven me after only one night, it was my father after all. I paced back and forth again. ‘What if Kevin never forgives me?’ I think. ‘What if he never speaks to me again?’ I kept pacing, thinking to myself that I’d much prefer him going back to bullying me than never acknowledging me again. At least the pain I felt when he beat me up would fill the emptiness I felt in my chest because of being such a mess up.

I stop pacing and shake my head. ‘No,’ I thought. ‘It’s not my fault, I can’t be thinking like this.’ I take a deep breath and go downstairs to grab a drink. Maybe if I have a glass of water, I can clear my mind. 

I shoved my hands in my pockets and walked down the stairs, passing by Nellie as she walked up the stairs with her headphones on and a bowl of cereal in her hands. She didn’t notice me walking past her, even if I was twice her size.

I sigh and walk through the kitchen, grabbing a cup from the cabinet and filling it with ice and water. I took my water and walked outside, leaning against the house and taking sips of my water as I felt the slight breeze blow through my hair. I take multiple deep breaths, closing my eyes to take in the nature around me.

I stood there for a few minutes before a familiar car drove into my driveway and parked there. I was confused for a second but put my water down and ran over as soon as I realized who it was. I gave her a huge hug, burying my face into her shoulder as she hugged me back.

“Are you okay, Luka?” She asked.

“There’s so much…” I said. “There’s so much, Ava.”

“Oh…” She rubbed my head as we stood there for what felt like a few minutes. I finally got to breath as we hugged each other. Hugging Ava made me feel like everything was going to be okay, that yesterday might have only been a dream and I didn't see my father and Kevin doesn’t absolutely hate my guts again. Ava patted my head and pulled away from the hug, leaving her hands on my shoulders. “Alright, why don’t we sit down and talk, alright?”

We sat against the garage door and stared at the clouds floating through the sky. “Why’d you come?” I asked.

“You’re mom called me.” She said. “She said you were upset and you weren’t at school today, so I was worried about you.”

“You shouldn’t be worried about me, ya’ know.”

“That’s not true, everyone needs someone that worries.”

We both went silent, continuing to stare up at the clouds.

“You don’t have to tell me what’s wrong,” She tells me. “But please know I’m here if you ever need to get something off of your chest.”

“Alright.” I took a deep breath in and let it out. “I don’t really want to talk about it right now.” I look over at her and she nods her head. “Can you stay the night tonight?” 

Ava looked over at me and we looked each other in the eyes. Her face was slightly red as she nodded her head. “Sure!” She said with slight excitement.”

I give a slight, side smile. She always reacted in the most adorable ways. “Okay,” I reply. “Thank you.”

“No problem!” She says, smiling wide, showing her teeth. It was cute, cuter than I could put into words. I rustle her hair and smile wider.

“I’m glad you’re here,” I say. I lean in and kiss her forehead, watching as her slightly pink face turns a bright red. She touches her forehead and looks at me. I watch her try to hold back the smile, but she ultimately fails and I see an even brighter smile on her face than I’ve ever seen before. 

I smile as she jumps on me, wrapping her arms around me, resting her chin on my shoulder. I hesitate for a second before putting the biggest smile on my face that I’ve ever had and wrapping my arms around her and squeezing her tight. She didn’t seem to mind me doing that, in fact she seemed calmer and more comfortable with me. I loved that, I love holding her, I love having her with me. I love her.