The Mistake

Chapter 3

January 5

Audrey frantically flipped through her year book from last year, hoping to find the face of the boy she could not get out of her head.

After 20 minutes of searching through the thick pages, she began to loose hope of ever finding him. However, something caught her eye.

She looked closely and sure enough, it's a picture of Byron, among a group of boys. His mouth is set in a grim line.

"He's a football player" Audrey muttered to herself, noticing the jersey he is wearing.

How could I have never noticed him? Audrey asked herself.

Her finger skimmed the list of names, until her finger stopped on a name that kept repeating in her head.

"Byron Reed Rivers" Audrey whispered. She was aware of how easily the name rolled off her tongue.

She studied his face, while the memories of the night they had together came to her mind.

He's beautiful, Audrey thought.

A wave of emotions surrounded her, and she suddenly could not breathe.

"Oh no, oh no, oh no" Audrey cried, the truth finally sinking in.

How could I possibly tell him? This will ruin his life, she thought.

How will I tell my family? This will ruin them! Audrey could feel her headache grow, the magnitude of her carelessness truly sinking in.

Audrey's family was picture perfect. Her father was a pastor, and her mother was the perfect stay-at-home mom. She constantly posted pictures of her family, hiding what happens behind closed doors.

In reality, her mother was never home. The responsibilities for the family fell on Audrey and her brother's shoulders. When both her parents were home, they were always fighting.

Her mind began to put the blame on her mother. Anything to lessen the hate she was feeling towards herself.

If my mother would have cared for me and Dean I would be different.

If my mother would have comforted me when boys began to touch my body without permission I would be different.

If my mother would have held my hand when girls began to make fun of me I would be different.

If. If. If. Excuses ran through her head, building a barrier between Audrey's heart and anything trying to break it.

Her hatred for her mother settled deep in her core. Audrey had decided to blame her mother for her mistakes, unable to see where she went wrong.

Audrey and Dean had learned to fill in the missing pieces of their family. They sheltered Abigale throughout her life, making sure she was happy.

Perhaps this was why Abigale was the favorite. Her innocence was untainted, her older siblings building a barrier between Abigale and the mistakes of their mother.

Audrey snapped out of her haunting thoughts, a habit she had gotten in trouble for several times in the past.

She became aware that there was persistent knocking on her door. Praying that it wasn't her mother, she cautiously opened the door.

"I thought you were dead in here A (a nickname Dean calls her) I've been knocking for like a minute" Dean said worriedly.

Dean, though he would never admit it, was worried about his baby sister. She had looked stressed ever since they left the grocery store.

Audrey, presenting her best smile, says "Of course i'm okay. I've just been trying to avoid your ugly face!" Audrey jokingly remarks, trying to avoid the growing pit in her stomach.

"Ouch! Anyway, I was wondering if you wanted to come with Abigale and I. We are going to get dinner" Dean asks.

Audrey looks down at her outfit, which consists of Deans old t-shirt and sweat pants.

Mother would be furious if she saw me dressed like this to go to town! Audrey thinks to herself.

A smirk begins to form on her face. Perfect opportunity for my mother to get embarrassed. God forbid the 'perfect' family looking unpresentable.

With that thought in mind, she slipped on her Birkenstock's and replies, "I'll go, but you're paying!"

She jumped into her brother's jeep, noticing her little sister, Abigale, staring at her appearance.

"Don't I look sexy Abigale?" Audrey questions, batting her eyelashes at her sister. The three siblings burst into fits of laughter.

As Dean pulled out of the driveway, she allowed herself to forget the growing pit in her stomach.

Audrey leaned her head on the back of the seat. Letting the wind pierce her bare arms, and the fleeting sun beam on her face.

Just for a moment, life was good. She payed no mind to the tiny human inside of her and tomorrow's responsibilities.

For now she would allow herself to listen to the blaring radio and let her problems drift away in the wind.