Chasing Stars ✔️

1.

"Non est ad astra mollis e terris via" - "There is no easy way from the earth to the stars"- Seneca

She

The world was spinning, shaking uncontrollably beneath my feet. My senses were twisted, about to crumble under the oppressive force of a blinding headache.

It felt like waking up from a nightmare, like I had been absent from my body, and was just waking up. The first thing coming back to me was the sense of smell hitting me in the form of a sweet, metallic scent.

Blood.

It took me a few seconds to realize where it was coming from before I was hit on my face. Again, a part of my brain noticed.

Then, I felt it. A thick and warm fluid filling up my mouth, sliding through my teeth. My hands flew to my lips. The crimson color that covered my fingers confirmed the suspicions that I was, in fact, bleeding. The taste that touched the back of my mouth, was enough to send my stomach flipping. My throat contracted, sending my body to jerk forward automatically.

This is actually happening then. It's not a nightmare.

There was no time to dwell on it, as I felt my body being pushed against the wall. I hit the hard surface with a scream, the sickly sensation of my shoulder popping out of its place, was the last thing I registered before letting my body slide down the wall until I was meeting the floor, my limbs tangled in a mess.
Blood, tears, and sweat were wetting my hands and legs. I knew I had to stand up. Being on the floor was only making me more vulnerable to my attacker.

Through the curtain formed by my hair, a pair of worn off sneakers came to view. I tilted my head up, only to feel a fist connecting to my face, fire spreading around my cheekbones. My body felt like it was flying, my head colliding with the wall behind me. My eyes shut as a response to the sharp pain.

I tried to open my eyelids, but suddenly, the bright light coming from the window became unbearable, sending daggers to my head. Sliding my back up against the wall, I tried to stand on my shaking legs. I was halfway through when I heard the familiar voice, screaming so close to my face I could feel the hot, humid breath against my cheek.

"You piece of shit! You ruined my life! You should have never been born!"

I lifted my arms blindly in front of me, trying to defend myself from what was about to come. A sharp pain hit me in the wrist this time. I didn't even have time to think about if it was the same that was broken a few years earlier, before a violent tug in my hair sent me back to the floor, ending my unglorified attempt at standing on my feet. I screamed again, realizing how the wooden surface must be covered in pieces of broken glass. I felt them piercing and scratching through the skin of my back and arms. The humiliation of being used to wipe the floor like a worthless cleaning rag was nothing compared to the physical pain.

The need to defend myself was a welcome presence in the back of my mind; the only part of me that was still grounded to reality. My body was beyond weak, and my soul seemed to be watching the events taking place in my childhood home from a distant place.

Still, I tried to open my eyes. I managed to do so just enough to see the bloodshot eyes of my attacker. They looked scarier than ever before. Small red lines formed a web around the pupils, so dilated that they seemed to be completely black, instead of the light green shade, the same as mine like I have been told all my life.

I tried to remember the other times something like this happened, but this was different. This time the rage was almost palpable. The violence was never so raw, so intense. The pain was never this big. The other times I always knew it was going to stop; I could even guess when it was going to stop. This time, however, I could see no end to my torment.