Chasing Stars ✔️

8.

"My thoughts are stars I cannot fathom into constellations" - John Green

She

Silence.

That was the word to better describe my life. I was living in an ocean of silence, swimming on it, letting it cradle me into sweet nothings. The waves of silence spread into the house; I didn't even bother to turn on the tv anymore. There was silence in the drive to and back to my appointments with Dr. B. Silence in Dr. B's office.

Three days of this. I was tired. I felt trapped, caged in my own mind, like a wild animal in a zoo. I wanted to escape, but had no idea how.

Jake still stared at me while driving. I had a feeling he wanted to say something, break the silence, not that I gave him any opportunity to do it. It frustrated me, I couldn't tell why.

Probably Dr. B's fault. From day one she insisted on this stupid question. Not a chance I would answer her; she should know better.

"Enjoy making money without having to do anything" that's what I told her when I arrived, and she asked me If I would talk. I guess I was saving all my politeness to Jake.

Forty-five minutes of silence.

I let the time pass, watching her play with her nails on top of the desk, eyes on me in defiance. I counted the leaves on the artificial plant by the window. Was it artificial? The more I looked at it, the more doubts I had. I felt like standing up and touch the leaves. No. I resisted that as well.

Waves of silence.

How long until she tells me the session was over?

It didn't matter. I wouldn't look at her, or the clock. I wouldn't touch the plant.

Maybe I could cut the silence, tell her she should know me better. Either that or get her attention to the dust growing on the top shelf of her bookcase.

I didn't get to do that. I didn't drown in the silence either.

Forty-five minutes were over.

Time to drive home. In silence, with Jake's disturbing eyes moving between my face and the road.

Though Jake wasn't in the waiting room. I didn't have to think about what to do before the girl from the front desk enlightened me. "He went for coffee, just next door. He is always here 5 or 10 minutes before your appointment ends. I guess he lost track of time".

So he doesn't actually stay outside the door for an hour reading dated magazines... good for him, I guess

I said a quick "Thank you" and walked out of the building. Sure enough, peeking at the window of the coffee shop next door, I saw Jake's tall frame and dark brown, messy hair immediately. He rested his elbows on the counter, chatting with the barista, a petite brunette, melting in smiles and exaggerated movements of her hands.

I wondered how long would I have to wait for him to get her number... or whatever. Who was I kidding? He could get her number in two minutes. No, less. I bet he didn't have to put much effort into it. Guys that look like him usually didn't.

The brunette caught my eye. Her hand froze mid-air, her ponytail gracefully balanced as she tilted her head in curiosity. I turned around faster than light, leaning against the window. My eyes fixed on my baby blue sandals in an attempt to look casual. I didn't have time to catch my breath before the vibrating sound of a bell announced the door had been opened and Jake materialized right by my side.

"Sorry. Been waiting long?"

I shook my head negatively.

The car was right in front of us and, like always, he opened the door for me, waiting until I took my place in the passenger seat. Only then did I notice he was still holding a cup from the coffee shop in his hand; when we were both inside of the car, he offered it to me.