Chasing Stars ✔️

34.

"Se as coisas são inatingíveis...ora!

Não é motivo para não quere-las...

Que tristes os caminhos, se não fora

A presença distante das estrelas", Mário Quintana

She

Sabrina came to my rescue like she always did. Mumbling something about us being late for classes, she followed me back into the car. All the others stayed frozen on the spot. Jake didn't move either.

During the drive to college, my sister kept speaking comforting words. I could tell by the sound of her voice more than the words themselves; I wasn't really listening. The only thought on my mind was how cruel destiny could be if it forced me to meet him again under those circumstances. One look at him and I've learned two things; I still loved him, and I wasn't enough. I would never be.

It was written from the day I was born. My father made my mother's life a living hell in front of me as if I was just another piece of furniture. When he succeeded at ruining her, he left us both without looking back. And mom let herself go. The fact that I was their flesh and blood didn't matter, didn't make them stop. Why would it be different with the man I fell in love with?

I sighed, making a pile with the books I have collected. I insisted on going to the library... as if I could ever concentrate enough to get any work done.

"Should we go?" Jax whispered from across the table, "you didn't even try to pretend you were studying."

The rustling of paper or the scrape of a chair against the tiled floor were the only sounds interrupting the silence of the library. I nodded, perhaps outside the environment that was created to promote concentration, I would be able to get out of my head. I wanted to forget so hard. Not about him. There was no hope of ever succeeding at that, but about the image of his swollen, busted face.

"Come, sit here." Jax grabbed my arm and guided me to a bench in one of the small patches of grass surrounding the library. Students waltzed around, walking in and out of buildings.

"Don't take this the wrong way, but you look awful... I mean, you look beautiful, but... awful. What's wrong?"

"I saw Jake."

"I thought this might be about him. Alexa, I know something else happened after he came out of jail, and considering how in love you were with each other, it had to be serious. Is there no chance you could get back together?"

I shook my head, unable to put it into words.

"I'm sorry," he said, "but if it is final, you can't just walk around moping. I know it hurts, but you spent a month hiding, you put your entire life on hold. You have overcome so much in your life, girl. Don't let a guy put you down. It's his loss, anyway."

I smiled. Jax was always good at trying to make me feel better.

My phone buzzed with a text. "Is it him begging for forgiveness?"

"It's Matt. He has the rest of the day off and wants to see if I can grab some lunch."

"Well, there you go, see? That's exactly what you need. You have a hot detective head over heels for you. Make the best out of it."

I couldn't help a small smile, Jax was a fan of Matt, never missing a chance to comment on his looks.

"It's not that simple."

"It can be if you want to. Besides, they are like opposites, right? One is a man of the law and then Jake has that bad boy vibe going on."

"Jake doesn't have a bad boy vibe."