Chasing Stars ✔️

29.

"I love stars. They never want to let me alone. I'm alive because of them... until I became a star" – Musa Ghaznavi

She

A faint orange light entered the room, filtered by the curtains. The voices that woke me up were softened by the closed door, but some words passed through the barrier. The meanings were imperceptible, but it seemed like masculine and feminine voices were engaged in a discussion. For a moment, I thought I was dreaming again. My mind should be replaying another one of the fights of my parents. Soon my dad would trap my mother in the darkness she was afraid of, and mom would try to escape by drowning the fear in a bottle of alcohol.

Another sound caught my attention. It was a timid tapping against the window; I blinked again, noticing the rain, and everything came back to me. Jake's confessions, me leaving, crying in Matt's house, Matt bringing back home, where Sabrina listened to everything in her room. That's where I was, in Sabrina's room, I realized.

"No...". That was also my sister's voice. It had to be.

Rubbing my eyes, I walked out of the bedroom; the sounds clearing right away.

"... you can't be serious..."

"I had to ask..."

"I love her like a sister too, but..."

Brian stopped abruptly, his hand flying to his already messy hair as soon as he saw me. Sabrina spun around in my direction at the same second.

"Please, tell me you are not arguing because of me..."

"Sorry, Alexa. We didn't mean to wake you." Brian apologized without meeting my eyes.

"Yes, go back to bed..."

"You didn't answer me. Are you arguing because of me?" They exchanged a look. I felt like screaming. They never fought; they were perfect together. This couldn't be happening.

Brian sighed. "No, Alexa. It's not because of you. It's just, Sabrina was nervous about what you told her about my cousin, and she thought she should ask me, if I knew about, you know... everything." He glared at her, before returning his eyes to me, a ghost of a smile on his face.

I bit my lip to suppress a sigh. I needed to tell someone what happened, and there was definitely no way I could keep it from Sabrina, but it still felt wrong to share Jake's story, even though if my sister already knew about his mom's death, no doubt from Brian, well she was his aunt after all...

"Was I not supposed to ask you?" Sabrina's arms snapped to the air, half of her curls escaping from her bun.

I saw Brian open his mouth to respond, but he was fast to catch up with my sign. With a gentle nod of his head, he took a seat on the arm of the couch.

"Look, I knew something happened with Jake. I mean, he went to college and suddenly came back, and spent almost a year isolated. My uncle said he needed time to get some things straight in his life. He told us he wanted to keep an eye on him because he messed with the wrong crew. Honestly? I thought maybe he did drugs or something." He shrugged, "I mean all the secrecy... but," he stood, sending a piercing look at his girlfriend, "my uncle guaranteed my father that Jake was ok; that he wanted to study again, get a job. That he had figured things out. Fuck. Everyone deserves a second chance, don't they? And he is my cousin. He went through a lot when aunt Natalie died."

He looked at me then, "I was happy that you two got together. And I trusted that whatever his story was, he would eventually tell you. I would never let him get close to you, to any of you if I thought he was unstable, or could hurt you, which" he said pointing a finger in Sabrina's directions "he is not. Ok? What happened was a horrible thing, and I will not justify or defend his actions, but he would never hurt your sister. Alexa, he would never, I mean, ever lay a hand on you. Came on..."