Chasing Stars ✔️

31.

"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars" -  Oscar Wilde.

She

I felt myself coming out of sleep. Tightening my sheets closer to my chest, I elongated my legs against the warmth of the mattress. My eyelids flutter and I barely opened my eyes when a familiar voice screamed "Happy birthday".

I jumped to a sitting position, my hand flew to the base of my throat at the same time a heavy sensation landed on my stomach "Fucking hell..." I gasped, meeting the image of Sabrina with her arms spread open.

Her eyes went wide at my unusual choice of words. "Oh, no... I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to scare you, I wasn't thinking."

I took a deep breath, urging myself to stay calm. A shiver still ran through my body as a protest against the way I woke up. "Oh, you were thinking, all right. You were thinking, she turned twenty, let's kill her already."

It took her a few seconds, but finally, my sister smiled until her body started to shake from the laughter she tried to contain. "I'm sorry," she repeated. "I supposed I should have waited until you were fully awake. It's just I've been waiting for a while, sleepyhead."

I leaned on the bed, pulling her for a hug. "Jax kept me awake for quite a while last night."

She frowned, "Jax?"

"Hmm... he called me as soon as the clock hit midnight", I explained, ignoring Sabrina whispering the word bastard and narrowing her eyes. "I guess he finally beat you." I teased, referring to how they would compete to be the first to wish me a happy birthday.

"He cheated. We agreed not to do that this year. You know, since you said you didn't want a party and all...."

"You still came..."

"Of course, me, mom, and dad are taking you out for dinner. Brian says happy birthday, but I didn't let him come, since... it's not a party."

"Ok." I sighed, "dinner is more than fine," not that I could stop them, anyway. "Since you are here, you can help me pack. It's not much. I mean, most of my things are at St. Patrick..."

"You're coming back?" she half screamed, her hands traveling to her mouth as soon as she realized she was raising her voice again.

"Yes," I confirmed trying a smile. "If you offer me a ride..."

"Of course, you silly." Sabrina smiled, hitting the top of my head with a pillow. "What changed your mind?"

"I can't hide forever, can I? Plus, I made a promise," I answered, remembering my conversation with John. "And... I also need to make a phone call."

"Who are you calling?" her voice sounded a little too enthusiastic.

"Dr. B's. I'm scheduling an appointment."

She bit her lip, which morphed into a smile. "Look at you. Older and wiser."

The dinner was exactly what I wanted to be. Quiet and pleasant. We were all in a good mood, and it felt like a true family moment; who needed any other presents than that?

Sabrina sat beside me on the couch, both of us already in our pajamas, and Miss Blush had turned herself into a furry ball next to our feet. I had long given up on the movie we were supposed to be watching. I picked up my phone again, going through a few texts from people from college with birthday wishes. I spent the day ignoring the weight on my chest that followed the increase of my heart rate every time the phone pinged with a new message. Why would he say anything?... It didn't even make sense. Still, my mind was stubbornly entertaining the thought.