B R E A K - Jikook

4

jk pov

I knew Jimin was awake the whole time. I heard the footsteps in his room, the doors opening, and closing, the sound of him rummaging through his closet. the flick of lights turning in and off. I knew I was probably being creepy but I couldn't help to listen to all the little sounds he made trying to imagine what he was doing alone in his room so late at night.

I woke up around 3:45 from a short-lived dream about me and Jimin. as I slowly opened my eyes adjusting to the darkroom I felt a wight push my chest down in bed. it was like there was a wave of sadness keeping me down. I knew that dream would never become a reality. there was no way it would. he didn't like me... at least, nit the way I did.

I never thought about it before. my whole life I was interested in women, and up until recently, I thought if Jimin likes any other member. like a brother, a friend. a reliable person I could tell everything too, but that as until that night.

we were drinking, celebrating boy with love hitting 100 million views. all the members danced and partied together with red flushed faces from alcohol, but I couldn't stand the taste of the liquor so I only took a few sips of my drink by the time the festivities were begging to wrap up. each of the members slowly tapped out, dragging their feet to their bedrooms or settling to fall asleep on the living room furniture just outside the dining room until it was only me and Jimin left.

he looked mad. he squinted at the wall, aggressively planting his drink back in the table after taking a sip. I sighed and got up to stretch. it was almost midnight, and I was starting to get pretty tired.

"I think I'm gonna go to bed," I said, beginning to walk towards the hallway, but Jimin grabbed the hem of my shirt.

"wait," he said, he stood up. he looked directly into my eyes, that's when I noticed he wasn't angry, he was sad. my smile dropped, turning into a worried expression. Jimin dropped my shirt and scoffed.

"acting like you care all of a sudden..." he said. I tilted my head.

"what?" I asked concern etched in my voice. he sighed. before I could say anything else, he grabbed my collar and pulled my head down to his level.

his lips touched mine. they were so soft and plump, like little pink pillows. his breath smelled like alcohol but in the shock of the situation, I couldn't even register the scent. joins other hand rested on my hip as he deepened the kiss. I watched with wide eyes as he inched closer to me.

I knew he was drunk. I knew this was probably random, that he probably wouldn't even remember it in the morning. I knew it wasn't real, it couldn't have been. but at that moment, every bone in my body was begging me to kiss him back. it only took a second for me to give in. I closed my eyes, placed my hands on his hips, and leaned in. suddenly he stopped. he pushed me away with a wide-eyed expression. that's when I knew I messed up.

"i... you... I'm going to bed," he said. he quickly sprinted to his room, slamming the door behind him. I stood there watching in shock. what had just happened? why. didn't I hate it?... why did i... like it.

I stared in the direction of the door as emotions swirled through my chest like a raging storm. I could barely process what happened, much less my reaction to it.

all I knew for certain was that as soon as I reciprocated the kiss, he ran away. he didn't want me to. he was probably trying to prank me or something. I probably freaked him out. what if he never wanted to talk to me again? did I ruin our friendship? what if he doesn't even remember this tomorrow, will I be stuck dwelling on what happened while he stays blissfully ignorant.

as I laid in bed that night I couldn't help but replay the scene over an ever again. each time recalling more and more little details. the slight flush of pink on his cheeks. the way my hands rested perfectly atop his hip bones. the small hand rested on my side, his thumb slightly under my shirt resting on my stomach. his dark eyelashes fluttering against my cheeks. the gentle but firm tug at my collar.

why was I thinking this way? I wasn't gay, I never thought this way about a man, not to mention it was one of the people I've been in a band with for almost 7 years.

I decided to wait until morning to think about it more. the first thing I needed to do was see if he remembered it or not, so I planned to talk to him first thing in the morning. for now, it was time to reset and get some rest.

the next morning I found him in the kitchen. it was just us again, just like last night. I froze a bit when I saw him but forced myself to push forward. he slowly and shakily poured his bowl of cereal. I could tell he had a hangover, and he was probably sleep deprived too. Jim doesn't sleep well when he's drunk. I walked over to him. when he turned around I thought I saw him jump, but it was probably just my imagination. I swallowed my fear and began to talk as if nothing happened.

"morning Jimin," I said casually, grabbing a bowl to pour some cereal for myself.

"good.. morning," he said slowly, looking away from me. I gulped. he seemed mad.

" so um... about last night" I started, but he interrupted me.

"what? did something happen last night?" he said, his tone dark and quick. he grabbed my bowl and pushed him in front of me. "here you can have mine, I'm gonna go back to bed"

"wait, so you remeber.," I said, my sentence trailing off at the end. he walked past me whispering from behind my back.

"forget it. lets just not talk about it, ok" he said. I looked down. something about his town made me feel sad. did I want him to talk about it? did I want him to remember it? why did this feel so wrong to me?

"a.. ok," I said softly, not wanting to anger him any further. I heard his fast-paced steps as he began to wall away and turned around. I noticed a slight limp on his left leg, but I didn't think anything of it. I looked back at the bowl of plain cereal, but my appetite was gone. yoongi walked up behind me.

"you gonna eat that?" he asked. I shook my head.

"I think I'm gonna go back to bed" I replied.