B R E A K - Jikook

14

My hand shook as I held the doorknob. it was unlocked, they knew I was there. I knew I would have to face them soon, but my hand wouldn't turn. I was so weak. I was so scared of their reaction, I couldn't move.

I could hear footsteps behind the door. bang pd probably told them he dropped me off. they were probably waiting for me. I felt bad for keeping them waiting but still, my hand wouldn't move.

"he should be here". I could hear yoongis voice from behind the door. I held my breath.

"jungkook, can you go check outside?" namjoon asked.

"ok.." jungkook replied.

footsteps. I began to panic, I pulled my hand away from the door, ready to run away and hide, but it was too late. the door opened.

"... jimin!"

everyone quickly gathered around the door, staring at me with intense worried expressions. I felt my heartbeat faster out of my chest. my whole body was shaking now. slowly, I raised my hand up...

"uh... hi"

"Why didn't you tell us?" seokjin said, his voice loud and full of worry. as soon as I stepped into the house, he grabbed my shoulders and pulled me into a tight hug. "we care about you jimin! why didn't you tell us!?"

"jin... " yoongi said, his voice stern and calm. he sighed and let me go, wiping at his eyes.

"Sorry... I didn't mean to jump on you like that"

"how about we all talk in the living room, I'm sure it's more comfortable than the doorway," namjoon said, looking at me with a smile. I could see through, his eyes were red. it wasn't a happy smile, he was worried. they all were.

why? why were they all so worried... I didn't think they cared this much... I expected to shout, yelling, even hitting, but instead I was met with 7 pairs of red eyes teaming with concern.

jungkook walked over to me and grabbed my hand. I looked up at him, my heart fluttering slightly. he gave my hand a light squeeze. hesitantly, I squeezed back.

"let's go..." he said. he was trying to calm me down. I nodded. he led me to the living room behind everyone else. we sat next to each other on the couch, his grip never faltering on my hand. everyone sat around in the circle of couches, hoseok pulling up a chair from the dining room to join.

"how long..."taehyung suddenly asked. his face was blank, his voice monotone as if he had already given up on himself. everyone looked at him, then back at me expectantly. jungkook rubbed the back of my hand with his thumb.

" a year" I replied cautiously, I heard gasps.

"a year? a whole year, and we didn't notice anything? how? how did you hide it for so long? how didn't we notice?" hoseok said, his eyes begging to fill with tears. he quickly wiped them away and forced himself to sit back in his chair.

" hoseok... it's not your fault. I'm the leader, I should've done something. to be honest... I noticed you were acting a bit off... after the 100 mil celebration... but I didn't know what to do, so I didn't say anything. this is all my fault"

"stop blaming yourselves!" yoongi said. "if jimin wanted us to know, we would. it's not our fault for not noticing, it's our fault for not preventing this from happening in the first place."

"jimin, is there anything we can do to make you more comfortable with talking to us? as the oldest I feel like I should be taking care of you all, knowing that you weren't comfortable with talking to me about what was bothering you... I feel like I've failed as your senior"

"jimin.." jungkook said softly. I looked up at him, his eyes were red and shiny. tears slowly began to pool in the corners of his eyes. I couldn't take it.

all of their caring words, their guilty outbursts. I couldn't handle it. I felt so terrible about it. I didn't know they cared so much about me, I disregarded their feelings and selfishly satisfied myself with this disgusting habit.

it was my fault they felt guilty it was my fault they were all crying now. everything was my fault. I pulled away from jungkooks grasp and buried my face in my hands. hot tears began pouring down my face. I couldn't control the sobs that shook my body. I was crying like a baby in front of everyone.

"no... I'm sorry... it's my fault.. its all my fault... I'm so sorry" everyone was silent as I cried out. they didn't know what to say, but jungkook quickly wrapped his arms around me, pulling my head out of my hands and embracing me with a tight hug, I choked back a sob.

"It doesn't matter whose fault it is!" he yelled. he held me closer. " all we can do is try our best to help. I promise ill do everything I can to make you happy. I swear on my life..."