B R E A K - Jikook

10

jm pov

"Jimin! Jimin please open the door!" junkook said, his voice laced with panic. I bit my lip and shut my eyes, trying to ignore the pounding on the door. my pant leg was soaked in blood, and I'm sure my bed was too. I should've been more careful. I shouldn't have done this.. why was I so awkward, I could've gotten out of this! "Jimin! why are you bleeding? did something happen?"

"Leave me alone" I replied, desperately trying to get him away from me before things got worse. I couldn't let him find out. not like this. I was so stupid! why was I so stupid!

I fell to my knees, my weak leg finally giving out under me. I tried to hold back my tears, but I couldn't stop them from coming. the banging on the door stopped, the only noise that could be heard were my sobs.

"Jimin..." jungkook said softly, he sounded so worried. "what's wrong? I don't know what happened... can you please let me in?"

his voice was so calm and soothing. it was like he shot an arrow through my heart. I couldn't contain the emotions inside me, I was so tired of being alone. I wanted him to be next to me. I wanted to grab onto him and cry into his shoulder until his sleeve was soaked in my tears. I couldn't handle being alone anymore. I weakly brought my hand to the handle and opened the lock.

after a few seconds, jungkook walked in. I looked away immediately, I couldn't face him. I was so embarrassed by the situation. I completely ruined everything. it was all my fault, and now I'm sitting on the floor asking for help as a little baby. jungkook kneeled down in front of me, I c9verd my eyes with my hands.

"oh god... there's so much blood..." he whispered. I let out a loud sob. I couldn't control myself. I didn't want him to know, I never wanted anyone to see this side of me, but I also needed him to help me, I wanted him to hug and comfort me. the conflicting feelings were too much to handle. it was too much pain, too much sadness. I never felt so bad in my entire life. every word he spoke fuelled the swirling storm in my head, I didn't have any room to think about what I was doing. "why are you crying?" he asked.

I didn't respond. I heard him gulp.

"Jimin... why are you crying?" he asked, his voice slightly shaky and a bit more urgent sounding.

I dug my face into my hands further. he was starting to figure it out. he was gonna know. he was gonna find out... it was too late to stop it...

"Jimin... you didn't... did.. did you...." he said, his voice quiet and trembling. I looked up at him, his eyes were shiny and his face was starting to turn red. he was gonna cry. why was he gonna cry? I don't want him to cry... I don't deserve to be cried over...

"I'm sorry...."

jk pov

I threw myself onto Jimin, wrapping my arms around him as tightly as I could. he felt so small in my arms. I let out a small sob. I couldn't believe it... how? why?

why was the man I loved so much doing this to himself?

how could he not see how amazing he was?

he looked so sad. I could feel his body shaking in my arms. my heart broke every time I heard him sob again. I hated it. I didn't want him to feel this way. I wanted him to be happy... I didn't know he felt this way... how did I not see it? if only I noticed sooner...

"Jimin..." I said slowly, he wrapped his arms around me and squeezed me back, I felt my shoulder getting wet with years, but I didn't care. I didn't care no matter what got on me, tears, blood, I wasn't going to let him go.

"I'm so sorry..." he cried out. his voice was so full of pain. it hurt so much. I hugged him tighter, hoping I could somehow send my love for him through my body into his.

"no... don't say you're sorry... its not your fault..." I replied, sniffling, trying to speak clearly though all the sobs. "I don't want you to... feel bad..."

"I don't want to feel... bad either," he said. he grabbed onto the back of my shirt, scrunching it up in his fists.

"I want to help you..." I said, forcing myself to regain my composure. "we should... maybe we should go to the hospital..." I said. he quickly pulled away from me, wildly shaking his.

"no no no no no, please no. I cant.."

"But... it was a lot of blood... I've never seen that much blood in my life..." I replied.

"no, please... I can handle it. ill take care of it I promise, I don't want to go to the hospital.." he sniffed

I looked down at his leg. his grey pants looked dark red. there was a huge circle of blood, it looked fresh. it wasn't dried down. it looked like it bled recently.

"When did you do this?" I asked, gently placing my hand on his thigh where the blood spot was, trying to figure out how old the stain was.

"yesterday..." he replied. my head shot up at him.

"yesterday? you mean... when you were in the shower?" he nodded. I bit my lip. "I was asleep... I could've stopped you... but I fell asleep..."

"no... it's ok, you were tired" he said. I shook my head.

"you wanting to hurt yourself is way more important than me being tired. I should've noticed if you were feeling bad"

"it's not your fault..." he said softly. he looked down. it seemed like he was already about to cry again. I didn't know what to do. I wanted to help him so badly, but I had no idea how. he seemed so... fragile. I didn't want to break him...

"I think I should call namjoon..." I said.