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TEN a little too much (warning: i don't know how sensitive anyone is to stuff so if it makes you uncomfortable please skip)
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Sadness wasn't a concept that Octavia was unfamiliar with. It was a feeling that everyone experiences at some point in their lives. It's common and inevitable when you are a normal human being. This particular emotion is one that affects people the most. It can be interpreted in many different ways, but there is always one that hurt someone the most.
Octavia knows sadness from times in her life— many times, but nothing compared to this.
The earliest in her life that she remembered a significant sadness was when she was in fourth grade. Cocoa was the name of the golden retriever that her family had since before she was born. Before Shelly and Jenny came into her life, Cocoa was Octavia's best friend. She would take her on really long walks everyday and spend her own money to buy bones and treats for her.
And on days where Octavia felt like everything was getting to her, like she was alone and no one in the world was on her side, all she would have to do was cuddle up next to the little fluff ball. Cocoa's fur would soak up all her tears and her calm breathing would sooth Octavia until she fell asleep. That dog was the most important thing to her— but all good things come to an end, don't they?
Sad, right? Well it gets even worse.
The second time she remembered such a significant sadness was when she got in a fight with Lucas. Now, Octavia and Lucas have gotten in fights before— obviously. But those were the stupid brother-sister ones that ended in them not caring the next day and not even remembering what it was about the day after that. This one was worse. They didn't talk to each other for weeks— or even acknowledged each other in the slightest.
Octavia even got to the point where she wouldn't leave her room, even for school. She would just sit in her room in silence— something that concerned her parents greatly. But then, after they had had enough of it, Joana and Daren ended up locking their children in a room together until they got along again. Normal parenting, huh? But afterwards they were back to their normal sibling relationship— or as normal as it could be.
But this time, it was different. This time, it hit her harder than ever. It was just a whole tsunami of tears hitting her, engulfing her within the waves. It overtook her, and shoved her to the ground, forcing her onto her knees and taking every sense of strength she had left.
Octavia always thrived on how strong her facade was, and even when she was breaking down on the inside, her outside never reflected it. But this time it was harder than usual. She would have to repeat the same words in her head— deep breath, head up, back straight, and stay the fuck calm. It worked most of the time.
