The league x reader
Have you ever met a man so insufferable? So stupid that it hurts? If not, then allow me to introduce you to Dabi, the dumbest villain in existence. Why do I say this? Well, it's obvious I'm patronizing him for his pathetic actions, but it's also to poke fun at him. I mean, it's not everyday your brother figure comes to your home drunk and high during a pandemic. One, he's drunk from probably every alcohol in Japan. Two, he probably took Spinner's edibles in which those take you for a fuckin ride. And three, why the hell are you going outside during a pandemic you dumbass? Especially for something as unimportant as stealing chips from my pantry? He knows I'm watching him raid the kitchen, he knows I'm judging every decision he's made thus far. "If you wanted some of my chips so bad, you could've asked kurogiri to open a portal to my garage, Dabi." He tipped his head back out of the pantry, holding to the doorframe so he wouldn't fall and hit his head. At least he learns from his- "Aw fuck!" Nevermind, I take back what I said. "You good, man?" Getting up from the couch, a groan was my only response as I entered the kitchen. I shook my head as I helped him up, draping his arm across my shoulders before guiding him to the couch to lay down. I sat water and meds on the side table before placing a bucket down beside the couch. Sitting against the couch, I turned my Xbox on to play some horror films since Dabi always seemed to enjoy those. I chose 2009's Friday the 13th, letting it play as I cleaned the kitchen free of Dabi's idiocy. Hearing a portal open from my garage made me regret ever buying food this week, because I knew that's what they were here for. My door was politely opened and in the corner of my eye, I saw Kurogiri awaiting my permission. A singular nod was all Kurogiri needed as he opened the door wider, stepping in. "Sorry to disturb you, (Y/N), but we came for Dabi, and hopefully home cooked food? You do make amazing dinners after all." It took me a second to register "we", but it was already too late. "(Y/N)!!" Cheered Himiko as she ran at me, snatching me up into a hug. "Oh god you brought everyone?" I grumbled as I wrapped my arms around the peppy girl in return. She relaxes instantly, content, as Shigaraki sat one of his many hands on my head, a sign of affection in my opinion. "Ok, fuck hands mcmike, whatcha want to eat? I know that's the only reason why you visit me at this point, you're practically like my mom's cats. Which is distasteful." Dabi laughed from the couch as Shigaraki gently smacked my cheek with the hand. "Since you asked, mac-n-cheese. It doesn't take long to make."
"Aight! Dinner's done!" I watched as the idiots got up from the couch and floor, coming to the dining table. "Please eat like actual humans, which means, yes you Spinner, eat using silverware! No hands should be used for Mac-n-cheese, unless your picking it up." Everyone had arrived now as in Kurogiri, Shigs, Dabi, Himiko, Mr Compress, Twice and Spinner are here. So much for a quiet evening, but I'd rather have these guys shouting and laughing at my table than have to listen to my own thoughts. They're idiots, but they're my idiots.
Bonus:
"Why is Twice screaming at my rubber ducks?" Himiko laughed at the absurdity of the question, "he didn't know you had a rubber duck collection, also, what did you call it?" I sighed, knowing I would be bullied about this for the rest of time, "the duck mafia." Dabi, who was half asleep on the couch, laughed, "you call it the duck mafia?" Grabbing one of the blankets off the couch, I proceeded to curl up in a corner, "leave me alone, man."
