Book of Unwanted Feelings

Feeling #26

I often find myself going through these mental gymnastics about who I am and the issues I have with myself. These gymnastics can to be long and may come repeatedly in various patterns and cycle. They are not always nice, they rarely do. On its high I'll be plummeting into the bottom of my confidence and my self worth will hit a drastic downfall. Like a climax of self deprecation, except it's down under. ‬Sometimes they come with cries. Other times they just came with waves of feelings. Uncomfortable feelings.

I don't always know how to deal with them. Sometimes I let them swept all over me until they passed. Other times I sat down through them like a dilligent student trying to break a formula on a math test. Or sometimes I held out my hands and reach for anyone closed. Somebody closed. Once again I will sat through things except I am not alone anymore. Somebody's with me, like we're sitting on a sofa on newly painted therapist office. Except I'm just with a friend, or someone loving.‬ There's an array of options that you can choose on how you want to face these things.

‪Whatever the way you choose to deal with them, in the end it comes back to this: The dread will stop. The nightmare will end. Maybe for a brief, maybe for a long time. The process may not be linear. But there will always be time and space for you to breath. Like how every streams will reach the shore, so will your calm moments come. And in that time will you feel collected, you will be fine. In that time you will feel enough again. I promise you even if it's for a while, it will always worth your time. It will always worth your life.

‪So if all the bad things comes again, that's okay. They will surely bid their goodbyes. It's just the ups and downs of life.