FireFly

Bonus Chapter.

Trigger warning for the whole chapter.

It's not simple to say
Most days, I don't recognise me

Connor splashed a handful of cold water in his face to wake him up, when he caught sight of his reflection in the bathroom mirror he felt like crying. He looked like shit. Worse that shit, in fact.

His hair was long, greasy and knotted. He didn't know it had gotten like that since he was showering at least twice a day, not to clean or anything, he was just bored. Connor had always been rather lucky with his skin, hardly ever having acne but now it was ghostly pale, the only colour being the deep shade of brown under his eyes.

The rest of his appearance wasn't any better, his lips, once always moving from where he spoke so much, were chapped and not the usual blush pink he'd grown used to. He hadn't gotten dressed in around three days, he was wearing sweatpants and his regular black hoodie, the garments were wrinkled from where he'd slept and they probably smelled disgusting to somebody who actually gave a fuck.

The truth was, he'd given up. Long ago. He couldn't even remember how it had happened, he just didn't care. About anything.

And Cynthia's friends always said I was a little heartbreaker, he mused with a self deprecating laugh.

It's not easy to know
I'm not anything, like I used to be

"Mum, hey mum" seven year old Connor chanted, tapping Cynthia in the shoulder.

"Yes, honey?" She replied, looking away from where she was chopping vegetables at the kitchen counter to gaze down at her son.

"Why did the chicken cross the road?" He asked, blue/brown irises beaming.

Cynthia hummed, pausing to think to herself, "I don't know, sweetheart. Why?"

"To get away from the people who don't stop making jokes about them!" He laughed.

Cynthia chuckled to herself as she watched her young son run upstairs, probably to tell Larry. He was such a happy little boy.

Although it's true,
I was never attentions sweet centre

"How's Connor doing?" Larry asked, sitting down next to his wife and opposite the teacher. It was Parents Evening and the couple were talking to Connor's teacher whilst the ten year old boy was playing airplanes with Zoe.

"Wonderfully." The teacher smiled warmly, "He's incredibly bright, you must be so proud of him."

"We are," Cynthia hurried to say, exchanging a delighted look with her husband, "We always were."

"Although" she paused, "He seems to be a tad on the shy side."

Cynthia laughed breathlessly, "He's never been a fan of the spotlight."

I still remember that boy

"Connor, Zoe please be careful!" Cynthia exclaimed from the kitchen, seeing her son run past with Zoe on his back, both giggling their hearts out.

"Don't worry, mum!" Connor replied as Zoe screeched with delight, "We're safe."

He's imperfect
But he tries

Looking at himself in the mirror wasn't really something he did very often. But he had caught sight of someone starring back at him and Connor didn't recognise who that person was.

His hair was gross.
His clothes were dirty.
He hadn't showered properly for a while.

He was disgusting and ugly and he didn't know how to fix it, as much as he wanted to.