Beginning - Shawn Mendes

Fifteenth year

Fifteen years and 113 days - part 1

I rupped my eye as I could feel a warm hand on my waist. I hassitated a little before I saw who the owner to the arm was. Nash. I had totally forgotten about him.

"You awake Anna?" I could hear him mumble and when I looked at him, his eyes were still shut.

"Yeah." I just mumbled back to him and cuddle a little closer to him. His skin was warm and nice.

"Alright." Because my ear was close to his cheast I could feel it go up and down in a steady and slow rythem.

"Do you ever talk in you sleep?" I asked him with my mouth brushing his cheast.

"I don't know. Normaly I am asleep when I do it." I could feel his cheast go up and down when he laughed.

"You just did last night." I giggled. I vould remember what he said. What he said about me.

"Tell me sweetheart. What did I say?" His hand made it's way up to my chin and tilted my head for me to look at him.

"You just talked to Cameron. And said that you liked me." I giggled again and saw his eyes get a little bit bigger.

"Oh... Well I was just dreaming so I guess it was nothing." Why is it, it is so hard for a guy to admit he liked a girl? Why?

I sat up in the bed and brushed my hair with my fingers before speaking. "Nash, do you like me?"

He also sat up and his blue eyes made contact with mine. The way he played with his fingers gave away the answer. I knew the answer, I just wanted him to say it. I mean, if he liked me it would be awesome. I liked him too. It took a little before he responed: "No."

Lie. Lie, lie, lie. I could tell by all of his actions that it was a lie. "What?" The word aggregated inside my mouth until I opened my mouth.

"No, I don't like you." He looked down at his fingers.

"You know you are very bad at lying, right?" His eyes flicked in surprised up and found my eyes.

"What?" His voice turned and made him sound like... like... him. The guy who beated me. The guy who abused me. It made him sound like him.

My heart started beating like crazy. I started so crawl backward until it felt down and hit the floor, I got up and ran towards the door. In the fall from the bed I had hitten my wrist but I ignored it. I ran down the hall, and started beating on Shawn's door. It got opened and I felt into the one who opened its arms. It did not seem reconizable. Niether the sentce nor the hug. I looked up and saw a confussed Taylor standing there. I got away from him and ran over to Shawn to hug him. He pulled me with him over to the bed. I would not let go. All the things in the past came back, they hitted my just as much now as when he did it. When we touched the bed to sit down my eyes could not keep the tears in anymore. They floded out. Shawn's calm voice sounded like and old record that did not work anymore - and consequently kept repeating the same things over and over. "Calm down Anna, it is going to be alright. I am here for you. Calm down Anna, it is going to be alright. I am here for you. Calm down Anna, it is going to be alright. I am here for you. Calm down Anna, it is going to be alright. I am here for you." He kept saying it. Over and over and over. It actually made me believe in it. "Calm down Anna, it is going to be alright. I am here for you." It was going to be alright. "Calm down Anna, it is going to be alright. I am here for you." Why did I even freak out? Calm down Anna, it is going to be alright. I am here for you." It was just Nash. "Calm down Anna, it is going to be alright. I am here for you." I finally decided to pull myself together. "Calm down Anna, it is going to be alright. I am here for you. Calm down Anna, it is going to be alright. I am here for you."