-Can be read as a stand alone-
Heart: In the streets of Atlanta it is what many will die behind, and what many will get themselves killed trying to prove.
But for some, heart comes naturally. It doesn't have to be proven, it is simply there from th...
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"The changes I'm going through You know I'll never be the same Your love has touched my soul There's no one else to blame but you" •••
These past two weeks had been a whirlwind of unquestionable happiness. I was arguably on cloud nine. Work had been exceedingly well. My friends and family were doing more than okay, and nothing had occurred to defer us from out established normal. Things were on the up for me, and I couldn't have been more content there.
There was also my boyfriend who I was absolutely enthralled by. Marcus and I had been more than amazing since the night at his house. Once we were finally able to be on the same page for once in our relationship we couldn't stay away. We spoke often, and saw each other equally as much. I could spend an eternity just laying up underneath him and hearing his deep baritone voice vibrating over me. He was an asshole still, but he was mine which meant he was more sweet than anything. He took his time getting to know me. Always wondering about the things he couldn't learn from the sidelines. He showered me in compliments and affection, and I felt like the luckiest girl walking the Earth with him.
And I was absolutely terrified of it all.
I'd just left from my therapy session for the next two weeks and my head was in disarray as the simultaneously warming but chilling question that she asked played on loop across my mind.
Did I love him?
It was a question that I knew the answer to, but it was an answer that I wasn't sure I could deal with if I ever admitted aloud. I felt crazy as I tried to juggle my feelings of myself with my feelings for him. My therapist was a help for some things, but there were also some things that she simply couldn't divulge in its entirety. I called Invi and Winter as soon as I hit the waiting room and asked if we could meet for lunch at Invi's place so we could talk. I was about to implode and I knew it was just me overthinking everything. Still, I couldn't shake the ill placed confusion and fear in my chest which was really a hoot in and of itself.
I remembered like it was yesterday that I was demanding for Marcus to put aside his fear and accept me, and he had. He really truly had. Though it wasn't complete as fears and inhibitions didn't just go away over night, he was trying valiantly to show me that he was putting in the work to make up for all of our lost time. Yet and still here I was terrified of the idea of being in love with him. It was so dumb. I knew it, but it was how I felt nonetheless and I needed to talk it through with someone who knew me inside and out which is why I let out a relieved breath as I pulled into the drive of Invi and Redd's house and saw Winter's silver BMW already parked outside waiting. I parked my blacked out Charger beside her and got out after cutting off the engine.
I walked my way up the steps to the front door and pushed the handle seeing it was already opened. I locked it back, knowing it was only open for me and I sat my keys on the entrance table before kicking off my heels.
