Fading Scars

Chapter 22

Emmie

When we get home from the store I take the bed and the bag from the back seat of the car whilst the loop of the lead is through my arm and I take it all inside whilst Dyno gets the big bag of dog food. Once we are inside I shut the front door and I start feeling tense again. I'm tired and I hate this house now. Dyno places the food on the counter in the kitchen. "Do you need anything else, Em?" I sigh, no not really. Nothing he can give me anyway.
"No, it's okay thanks for your help Dinosaur," he grabs my jaw with one hand and looks at me. What's he looking for? I push him off me.
"Okay well call me if you need me." I nod, I don't often need Dyno but he's not a constant reminder of what happened to me because he wasn't there. He walks out of the kitchen and I empty the contents of the bag on the kitchen island. I grab the harness and I take off Hero's lead and I slide on the harness. It only just fits where he is so big but it will do. I grab one of his water bowls and I wash it and then put cold water in it and I place it by the door and make Hero know it's there and he has a drink.
I look at the food packet to see how much Hero should have, so I get out scales and I start weighing out and putting in zippy bags. I get bored easily but I make sure there's enough for two weeks worth. I look at the time and it's 4 pm. I'll feed him at 5 pm, I go upstairs and find a small suitcase and I return to the kitchen. I place the zip bags of feed in the suitcase and one water bowl and one feed bowl with the brush a pack of poo bags. I add a couple of dog toys in the suitcase and I'll add his bed tomorrow.
I zip the case up and I lift it off the counter and I gasp, that hurt. I place it by the front door and I go upstairs to the bedroom and find Hero's file that I left on the bed. I make sure the door is closed when I'm in the bedroom and I shut the door. I find at the back his service document and I take the little card out and I slide it into his harness. "Good boy, Hero," I say and stroke his head when I'm done.
I don't like being in here anymore so I get my charger from the socket and leave the room closing the door behind me trying to lock in the demons. I walk downstairs and I plug my phone in the kitchen and I leave it to charge for a little bit. I go out the sliding doors to the garden and I tell Hero to roam the garden. Not sure if that's a proper command but I don't want to have to command him to go for a wee or a poo. I sit on the seat swing on the porch and I watch Hero explore the garden.
This is more like it, him sniffing the garden getting used to the scents. This is what a dog should do. I watch him until he comes back to me and then I head back into the kitchen and I search the internet for the nearest vets in the area. I press call, "Sunrise Vets how can I help?"
"Hi, I'd like to register my dog with you if that's possible." Look at me being a good little dog owner.
"Sure, no problem have you got any pets with us currently?" I have never owned any pets, my Daddy didn't like animals.
"No, this is my first animal so if you could send me reminders for any routine jabs and things that would be amazing."
"Sure, I can set up email reminders for you. What's your name please and address?" This is perfect I have such a busy life with appointments.
"My name is Mrs Emmie Rider." I give her my address even though I wish it wasn't. It's awful here.
"Great I just need your email address to send the updates and then on to the dog's information." I give her my email address. She's being so patient and helpful with me. "Great, dog's name?"
"Hero," I say and Hero nudges my leg and I pat his head without looking at him. I lean on the counter and face the wall.
"Great how old is he and is he neutered?" Mm, I don't remember reading that in the file but I didn't read it back to back.
"He's one but I need to grab his file because I don't remember reading that bit. Can you wait a sec while I grab it?"
"Sure, I'll stay on the line." I put my phone down and I run upstairs and Hero runs with me. I quickly grab the file and run downstairs and I trip over my feet at the bottom of the stairs. Ow, that hurt. Oh well, I get up and grab the phone. I'm out of breath.
I flick through his file, "Yes, he's neutered," I say. I should have read it before thoroughly. At least that's another thing I don't need to do.
"Great, what's his microchip number?" I scan the booklet and I give her his microchip number. "What breed is he?"
"Well, his mother is a german shepherd and the father is a german shepherd cross Great Dane. So I guess that makes him a german shepherd cross?"
"Woah, big dog then?" I laugh yes he's pretty big but I'm glad of that. I give her all the other information she asks for. "You should think about getting him insured. You can do applications online, make sure you do your research don't just pick the cheapest. You need to compare what they offer so you know it's right for you."
"Great thank you, I'll look into it. Do you need to check him over as he's new to you?" I don't know the in's and out's.
"No we don't require you to but if you want to get him checked over that's fine," Do I want him to?
"I'm going away tomorrow but I guess it would give me peace of mind to know he's healthy as he's my service dog."
"Don't normally get cross breeds as service dogs. You should consider training classes. If you want to book an appointment when you're back, just give us a ring."
"My dog is highly trained, he responds to my voice only. I don't think classes would teach him anything but I will ring you when we are back."
"Wow, that's unheard of. Well, I'm sure we would all love to meet Hero and yourself. Look forward to hearing from you. Goodbye." I hang up the phone after I've said bye. That's another thing checked off the list. I take my phone off charge and go into the living room and put something on the TV. Hero spreads across the sofa and lays his shoulders and head on my lap and his front legs sprawl the other side of me. I stroke his head and he seems happy.
Damon and the kids arrive through the door and the kids head up the stairs and Damon sits next to me. "You look happy." Damon put's his arm around me and Hero growls. I shush him and he stops.
"I'm okay Damon, is he really mine?" I still can't get my head around it. I can now be left alone and not feel alone.
"Yes, baby. He's all yours." I smile and Damon kisses my cheek and trails soft kisses down my neck and I close my eyes.
"So, no one is going to take him away from me?" I don't think I could handle that, I feel comfortable in my own skin.
He stops kissing my neck and looks at me, "No baby, no one is going to take him away besides, I'd like to see them try. Hero, wouldn't let that happen." I guess, "What's up baby?"
"I just, I didn't think a dog would be the answer. He makes me feel safe and comfortable, he can bring me back from my blackouts as can you. He feels like family already and I couldn't handle it if anyone took him from me and it's only been a few hours."
"I promise baby, no one is taking your dog. I'm glad he helps you, I didn't think he'd help this much but I'm glad he does." I smile and Damon leans forward and kisses my lips. "I've got Sully to get a takeaway on his way home. Is that okay?" I shrug. I guess I didn't even think about food. He continues to kiss me on the sofa and I melt at his sweet gestures. I think Hero is going to turn into a sex blocker if he is always around.
The front door opens and Damon pulls away from me. I look at the door and Sully walks in with food. He places the food in the kitchen and he sits on the arm of the sofa as he can't sit next to me because of the dog. He reaches across Hero and he strokes my hair. I expect Hero to growl but he doesn't, that's odd. I'm also surprised these two are back for dinner.
I get Hero to move and I get up and head to the kitchen to sort dinner out. I reach up into the cupboard to grab some plate. I gasp at the pain and Damon enters the room in reaction and he frowns holding his hands out to take the plates. I glare at him to back off, I don't need him running around after me. I place the plates on the table even though they are heavy. I place the pots of curries and rices on the table for people to help themselves. I grab cutlery and I placee them on the table.
I grab Hero's food bowl and I wash it before I serve him his food. I place it next to his water bowl and he tucks in quickly. I'm glad Sofia told me to get the slow feeder not that he's eating it slowly. Damon rounds up the kids and I get a jug of water and place it on the table with some glasses. "Do you want some wine baby?" I nod. Sure, I haven't had wine in a long time.
He grabs some red wine from the wine cupboard and grabs three glasses. When I return to the table everyone is sitting waiting to tuck in. "I'm so glad you're back Mom, it's not the same without you," Caleb says and I smile.
"Well, get tucked in then. I've missed you all so much." I smile, I'm happy. I have my family around me and enjoy the easy conversations and the food and the wine. Damon is sat on my right and Sully is sat on my left. I feel Hero between my legs protecting me under the table. I can't remember the last time we were all around the dinner table together like this. When I was happy and I ate my food without being encouraged. Damon slides his hand on my thigh and gives me a reassuring squeeze.
We laugh together and enjoy everyone's company. This is what I fought so hard for my family but my happy family. It's almost like I never went away although it still lingers at the back of my head. I eat what I can but my stomach has shrunk meaing I can only managed a few mouthfuls. Once dinner is finished Lilly asks if we can have a games night. The ball is left in my court, I am tired but I'm not sure I could sleep anyway so I'd love a games night. The kids help each other wash up, dry up and put away. It's nice to see them get on together, I'm sure they've been told to be on their best behaviour but it still warms my heart.
I sip my wine whilst Damon gets some games ready and Sully slides his hand through mine, "I'm so happy you are all here and around me. I can't remember the last time we did this."
"You look happy Emmie, so happy. It's so good to have you home, the house is full but it's empty when you aren't in it. You don't feel loved but we all lost a part of ourselves when you were gone. We want to spend as much time as we can with you." I smile and put my head on his shoulder. I don't reply because. . . well I don't know what to say.
Once the kids are finished we get into games night. Lilly is as stubborn as I am she doesn't give up. Thomas gets angry when he doesn't win he's a little firecracker like his Dad. Caleb doesn't place one move that could jeopardise Lilly's victory. I'm so glad Caleb looks after her, he does it so well. Hours pass and I start getting agitated. I kiss Sully on the cheek and Damon on the lips and I excuse myself and say goodnight. I grab my phone and it's 10 am. I'm surprised Damon has let the kids stay up this late.
Hero follows me up the stairs and I shut the bedroom door. I take my glasses off but I don't turn any lights on. I head into the bathroom and I strip and get into the shower. The shower soothes me, it was the only time he didn't disturb me and I was grateful. "You okay baby?" Damon says softly.
"Yeah, I just had enough Damon. I needed to chill for a bit. It's been mentally draining," he joins me in the shower and I get goosebumps. He wraps his arms around me with my back to him.
"You don't need to explain, baby. You've been doing so well. I'm proud of you," he moves my hair from my neck and trails soft kisses on my neck and shoulder. I tilt my head giving him better access. He has this power of making me forget what I was thinking about and fill my head with him. I felt like I was being sucked into a black hole but now he's made the hole competely disappear and I can breathe.
I turn around and place my arms around his neck and he lifts me up and pushes me against the wall. "You amaze me, you are so strong even if you don't feel it. You are, I'm in awe." He's in awe? He has these superpowers and he thinks he's in awe. He kisses me and I lose myself with my husband again. I don't know how I ended up so lucky. When I come to my senses Damon turns the shower off and lifts me out the shower. I feel so drained but I still don't think I can sleep. Damon sets me on my feet and he wraps me in a soft fluffy towel.
He guides me to the bedroom I tense at the open door. I rush to shut it and I rest my weight against the closed door. I told him to keep the door closed, I dry myself and I get into some Pj's. I settle for shorts and a strap top. I'm not so self conscious when this Damon is around. Once I'm finished Damon is already laying in bed, I crawl into bed but I lay on top of him facing him and he wraps his arms around me.
I hate the feeling of this bed now and I need to feel Damon around me. Hero lays next to us and I place my hand on him. "Emmie, I don't really want the dog in the bed."
"Tough luck, where I go he goes," I mutter. It's not even an option for him not to be close. It's the same as Damon. I need him close and we always gravitate towards each other. I smile into Damon's chest and Damon doesn't say anything because he was the one that said those words.
    I lay on Damon's chest for ages and I can't sleep. His arms don't even hold me now as he's asleep breathing softly. I can't breathe in here so I get out of bed carefully and I walk towards the door before I know it I can feel Hero's fluff on my bare legs. I smile knowing he is that loyal, I slowly shut the door and I trip in the hallway. Ow, I get up and I feel around for Hero's harness. I should have taken it off him really. I pause outside Sully's room, I always go to Sully if I can't sleep but it's this house, not so much the people in it despite me seeing their faces when I close my eyes. The pain they caused. . . Hero guides me down the stairs and outside in the fresh air where I can breathe away from the house of horrors. I lay down on the seat swing and Hero lays on top of me and I feel it swaying back and forth. I cuddle Hero and I shut my eyes.
My body shakes as I slip into an uneasy sleep. The house of horrors, Damon hitting me. The sheer loneliness. The sadness in Sully's eyes, the boxing gloves coming at my face repeatedly. The room behind the bookcase, the hundreds of pictures of me. Scratched out faces, it feels like the people have been scratched out from my life not the photos.
I hear voices but I'm too tired to wake up fully. I feel really warm, I feel around me and Hero is still laying on me but I have a blanket around us, how did that happen? "Baby?" Damon says softly he's closer now than when I heard voices. I groan I'm not ready to wake yet. Hero starts growling again. I shh him to be quiet, I'm not ready to wake yet. Damon places soft kisses all over my face and I grin. I smile with him all around me, I smell home. Okay, I'm awake now. "You okay baby? I woke and you weren't there. I was worried."
I don't open my eyes because I don't have my glasses. "Yeah, I couldn't breathe in there Damon I'm sorry. Did you put this blanket on me?" He's not mad right? I hold onto Hero just in case.
"You don't need to be sorry Emmie. It's not your fault this house scares you, you could have woken me. No, Sully put it on you. He stayed holding your hand all night so you weren't alone out here." I must have been really tired if I didn't notice that. "We have an appointment, get dressed and we will get going." Although I hate this house, I'm not comfortable out in public.
"What appointment?" he never said before. I wonder what it could be. He strokes my face and I smile. I bet his eyes are dazzling in the sun. He is the definition of perfection, I just don't compete in anyway.
"It's a surprise, come on," I tell Hero to go and do his business. His weight has now gone from my body and I feel bare. He definitely gives me security, in some ways more than Damon can give me. I sit up and stretch, it's really not comfy on there. I hold my hand out to Damon and he takes it and guides me inside. I leave the sliding doors open for Hero and I grab him his breakfast. I open my eyes, blinking the blurriness away it's still really bright but I grin and bear it.
I make my way up the stairs and I enter the dreaded bedroom and I shut the door. I find some clothes and place them on the bed. I hear Hero crying outside the bedroom door moments later and I let him in. I didn't mean to shut him out I just always need the door shut. He jumps on the bed and he lays down watching me. I get dressed in sweats, I feel horrendous and these protect me somewhat. I grab my makeup bag, I know Damon doesn't like makeup but I feel I need to cover the bruises. I sit on the bed applying the makeup once I'm done I brush my new hair through, it's still wavy but I do naturally have waves.
Once I'm done I find my glasses and slide them on, that's much better. I find my phone and slide it into my pocket. I make my way downstairs and Damon is waiting on the sofa. He smiles at me and I can't help but grin back at him. He seems extra happy today and he closes the distance between us and Hero growls again. Why does he do that? I tell him to hush again and he does. Damon kisses my forehead and he takes my hand and we head to the car. He opens my door and I slide in and I get Hero to sit in the footwell again. I make sure he's in all the way before Damon shuts the door.
Damon's car is bigger than Dyno's so Hero has more room. When Damon's in the car he starts the car and drives away. I turn the radio on but make sure it's not too loud. I'm adjusting slowly to the noises and the light. The further we leave the house I feel the tention fading but the closer we drive to the destination the more my anxiety grows. I always felt like I was being watched all my life and it was confirmed. I know that he's in prison but it doesn't make me feel any less anxious. Damon puts his hand on my thigh as I jump Hero growls.
"You okay, baby?"
"I don't know."
"What do you mean?"
"Will I ever be okay? This feels different. When I close my eyes I'm back in the house of horrors. You're normally my safe haven but not this time. You are in the house of horrors with Blake and Sully. It's hard to get comfort from you when you caused my pain." I don't want to hurt his feelings but I feel like he needs to hear it.
"Remember what they look like, Emmie. It wasn't us."
"You don't understand Damon. I see no difference, my head makes up the faces, my brain registers it's you. The only way to distiniguish the visions is your presence, your touch." Damon face screws up and he sighs. He thinks this over and the next thing I know he's pulling over on the side of the road.
What is he doing? He undoes his belt and he grabs my arm and pulls me over to sit astride him. Hero growls as my back rests on the steering wheel. Damon rests his forehead on mine. "I've missed you so fucking much, it's been absolutely hell without you. You calm the raging fire inside of me. Without you I'm just a big fucking angry mess."
"Damon. . . "
"No, you need to hear this. You always feel like you are unworthy, unloved but you fucking are loved. I hate being away from you for a minute let along six fucking long months. To not being able to hold you when you were in that stupid glass box." I cringe at the thought of my own personal fish bowl. "To see you break down in front of all those people. You need me for support and all I could do was watch. See you in pain from what they did to you. That fucking idiot thinking he had one up on me."
"Bulldog?"
"Bulldog? Oh fucking Rodrigo Amor. Fucking tosser, to think he actually had the nerve to beg for his life."
"You killed him?"
"You sound surprised Emmie? The fucker assaulted you in front of me whilst you had broken ribs. I think he got off lightly."
"At least if I go back to prison I won't have to deal with him and you won't be blackmailed." I shrug and Damon growls.
"Blackmailed? Emmie, you aren't going back to prison. I won't let you go again. We will go on the run if I have to. We aren't being apart again."
"I er. . . he thought you would pay him. Protection payment so to speak. I told him he was deluded if you would do that."
"You know I'll protect you at any cost but I wouldn't give that fucker a penny. I nearly ripped his head off in that prison when he pushed you." Damon's lips claim mine and I keep my eyes open so I don't see the pain when I close my eyes. Damon has always been my healer so this scar will always be there. Damon's hands slide under my top and my body relaxes. His touch alone has my body responding, calling to him on every level. "As much as I could kiss you all day. We need to go to this meeting." I nod and I climb back over to my side.
We drive for ten more minutes or so and he pulls up at a huge house. It could fit 5 cars easy in the driveaway plus a garage at the side of the house. From the outside, it looks very open with big windows. The outside of the house is white and it looks very stylish. Damon gets my door and Hero jumps out the car.
Damon holds his hand out and I take it. He shut the door behind me and he pulls me to him. I have to hush Hero again. "Okay Damon, what rich clients do you need now? What do you need?" I don't understand why we are here.
He laughs at me and I frown, I don't understand. "Baby, I don't need anything but your happiness," he kisses my forehead and we walk hand in hand towards the house. Damon rings the doorbell and a middle-aged man opens the door. He welcomes us and he shakes Damon's hand but I don't take his hand when he offers it to me.
He invites us in and we stand in the entrance. This house is huge very bright and open. White walls, that makes the room feel bigger and lighter. I stand on my tiptoes and whisper in Damon's ear, "I don't understand, did you want me to seduce him or what?" he chuckles at me.
"No baby." I don't understand what this is? He's smirking so he obviously knows what he's doing to me the bastard. I place my feet flat on the floor and I look at the house. It is all open, in front of us I see a spiral staircase. Beyond the staircase, I see the kitchen.
"It's nice to see you, Mr Rider, thank you for coming on short notice. Is this your beautiful wife?" I groan. I didn't come here to be lied to again. Damon puts his arm around me to calm me down.
"Yes, this is Emmie. She is beautiful isn't she?" he exaggerates that sentence. I believe it when you tell me Damon I just don't like other people gawking at me.
"It's a pleasure to meet you, Emmie. My name is Samuel." Can someone please tell me what is going on, please? I don't like this at all.
"Wish I could say the same," I snap. This is pissing me off and we've been here all of two minutes.
Damon leans over to my ear and whispers, "Emmie, play nice," he removes his lips away from my ear all too soon even though he didn't touch me.
"Feisty one then?" Damon laughs and I elbow him in the side. What does he want from me? This is so frustrating.
"You have no idea." I shove him again with my body and he looks down at me and smirks. What game is he playing? But I love playful Damon.
"Shall we have a look around?" Damon nods and he starts following Samuel. Why are we looking around his huge house? He takes us into the living room first. It has a large corner sofa on the right. The whole back wall is glass showing out onto the porch with a large decking area and swimming pool area. In front of the sofa is a coffee table and then a large flat-screen TV sits on the wall. I roll my eyes this is over the top but it's nice. "Well as you can see this is the lounge. You can see out to the balcony, very open and spacious."
I look at Damon and he is thinking and really observing everything, "Yes, this is great." Damon mutters appreciatively.
"Let's move on shall we?" Samuel walks off into the next room and I stop in front of Damon so he can't follow.
"Why are we touring someone's house, Damon?" he grins at me again and walks after Samuel. He's so frustrating, I follow into the kitchen, it technically joins onto the living room but there is a wall dividing it but no door. Like I say it's all open planned. I look at the kitchen and it has worktops across the long wall and the counters come out into the room somewhat. The doors are a nice shade of turquoise blue, not something I'd choose but it's opened my eyes to possibilities. I love it in this house. Past the counters is a large table and chairs sitting by the glass windows and doors looking out into the garden and pool area.
"Again very open you can see the garden through the doors." What is it with him and open? Yes, his house is to die for but why are we doing this? Damon nods in agreement and they walk to the next room and I curse.
The next room is just as open it houses a large bookcase with chaise lounger. I already feel very relaxed in this room. "Again big windows, lots of light. Can be used as a games room." Yes, I can see that it could be but if he wanted a games room he would have converted it. Damon is really listening and content. "Let's go upstairs." I shake my head what?
Samuel leaves the room, "I'm not going upstairs, Damon. What is this? Does he want a threesome?" he laughs at me and kisses my forehead.
"You are safe with me. I don't like to share my wife, you know that." I do know that but I still don't feel comfortable. I hold his hand and he frowns at me. I grab Hero's harness to calm me down. Damon leads me upstairs and I start to shake. "Baby, honestly don't sweat this." I try not to let it bother me going upstairs with Samuel.
We are in a sweet little lilac room with a white tree pattern on the wall. It doesn't have much in the room but it has a lovely little window seat and a large bed. It's so cute this room I bet Lilly would love it. "I know this isn't as open but it still has a lot of light." Who needs light anyway when you have sore eyes like me.
I'm getting pissed off now, "What is it with you and open, light and spacious? Did you want a medal for it?" I snap, the house is nice what more does he want?
Damon laughs at me and kisses my head, "Oh baby, I've missed your mouth." Samuel doesn't seem offended.
"She speaks her mind huh?" Stop treating me as if I'm not here. I don't have any idea what's going on but I'm still a human being.
"I am here you know," I growl. They both look amused though and that only annoys me more. Why can't they just tell me what we are doing here?
"Braver man than me. Let's move on." I'm not that scary but I am losing my temper rather quickly.
Samuel moves on to the next room, "I've missed you so fucking much, baby." Damon says and I melt. He leads us into the next room. It's not as big but it's still big enough for one person, it has a double bed plus big windows and a built-in wardrobe.
"This bedroom is slightly smaller. But you have to allow for how many bedrooms." Why is he getting defensive about his small bedroom?
"Aww is someone upset because they have a small room in their huge house. It's not even that small." I've had smaller rooms than this mostly when I was younger though. Eventually, Daddy wanted me to have a bigger room but it just made me feel emptier the bigger the room got.
"Get you out of our house for an hour and you are abusing the public." Abusing never? He's just annoying me.
"I don't abuse anyone merely state the truth." Damon isn't annoyed though so that's a bonus. His mood hasn't wavered and I'm glad.
"Shall we move on?" Samuel asks and makes his way to the next room. The next room is longer than it is wide. It has enough width to house a bed length and chest of draws in front of it with a gap to walk through. What catches my eye is the window seat the is the width of the whole room. "This has a lovely window seat."
"Well hey, 10 out of 10 for being observant." I rest my head on Damon's shoulder I'm bored of this now.
"Next room?" Samuel asks. He leaves the room, how many more are there? I'm so bored and fed up viewing his house.
We follow and end up in a decent size room, it looks fitting for a teenage lad. Built-in wardrobe on the left and a double bed in the middle and on the right is a computer desk and wall shelves above the desk. I could imagine Caleb in here doing his homework. "How many bedrooms does one need? Really?"
"Big families need lots of rooms." I shrug, I guess so. He exits the room and heads into another one. This is tedious. When we get into the room I love it. It has a huge bed but it looks out onto the mountains behind us. Floor to ceiling windows making it very open. It almost looks like a sauna room as it has wood panels on the ceiling and walls with a grey marble type floor.
"This is nice," Damon says and I roll my eyes. Of course, it is so why are we here? I'm growing more and more irritated.
"Yes we have already established this house is nice," I grumble because we have haven't we? Damon seemed happy all the way through our stupid little tour.
"We have one more bedroom left. I've saved the best till last." Oh, thank god this is nearly over whatever this is.
"Oh whoop, big finale." I groan. I'd like to sit down or lay down would be better. I'm so tired and irritated.
"Someone is in a mood," Samuel says. Yes, I guess I am in a mood okay? Can we get this over with?
"She's fine," Damon laughs. Yes, you little bastard you know what you are doing to me. Samuel walks ahead to the last room and we follow. When I enter the room I walk around the windows. Okay, this is definitely the big finale. There is floor to ceiling windows on two sides looking out onto the mountains. I turn my back on the window and it houses a huge bed, I don't even know what size that is. Over by the other set of windows is a grey sofa looking out the window. Behind the sofa is built-in wardrobes and a large mirror.
I am actually in love with this bedroom, I already feel so relaxed here and it's not my house. I could see myself being at bliss here. "Yes as you can see windows are all along the back wall." Yes, I can see that. I don't know what to look at, it's all mesmerising.
"Well, Emmie seems to like this room," Damon says softly. I can feel him watching me but I can't stop looking at this amazing room.
"I will show you to the en suite bathroom." I don't need to see anything else, I want to stay in this tranquil for ever. They head towards the bathroom.
"Baby, are you coming?" I shake my head. I'm happy right here and I don't want to be in close proximity to Samuel. "Emmie get your ass in here," Damon calls from the bathroom.
"Threesomes don't float my boat but you two go ahead," I call out, I don't want to go in there. I'm happy right here. I can hear Damon laughing at my expense again and I see him walk out the bathroom and he pulls me with him. When I look at the bathroom my mouth drops open. The main feature is the huge bath under the large window. On the left is a shower and on the right is a beautiful sink and counter piece set. On each side of the sink are drawers and above the sink is a large mirror with space to layout makeup or hair straighteners. This is the poshest bathroom I've ever laid eyes on. This bathroom is bigger than some of the rooms.
"You may be a little worried about how open the windows are in the bathroom but this is a one-way mirror. So no peeking in. But you can still enjoy the view." Why would I worry about that it's not my house?
"Huh. I still prefer the bedroom." I exit the bathroom and I take a seat on the sofa. He's not going to mind me sitting for a minute, is he? I'm exhausted.
"A woman who knows her own mind," I hear Samuel say in the bathroom. Hero is sat in front of me watching my every move.
"Indeed she does," Damon says. I've always known what I've wanted, mostly. I knew I wanted Damon at the start it was just hard for me to give up Brody at the time. Damon was all I ever wanted and I didn't even know I wanted him when I met him. Even if I've wanted things, I never persued them. I knew I wasn't worthy.
"I will be downstairs. Feel free to look around some more." Why would I need to look around some more? I already have the beautiful house memorised in my head. Damon comes to sit next to me and wraps his arm around my shoulders and Hero growls. I will never get used him doing that, I hush him again.
"So what do you think?" I don't understand his question. What do I think of what? I'm tired I need to lie down.
"Of what Damon?" his little games are exhausting. Since I was found at the house of horrors the days drain me. It's the mental stimulation more than anything I think. I spent days just staring at the door in the dark room.
"The house, Emmie," I've already told him it's a lovely house. What does he want from me? I look at him and frown.
I sigh, "Whoever designed this house had an eye for art. It's been created perfectly very open with an amazing view. What does my opinion matter anyway?"
"But do you like it?" Who cares if I like it? Damon can't stop smiling at me and I smile too. I'm exhausted but I like how happy he is.
"Damon, I love it. This room alone is amazing. I feel so peaceful here, it's very odd. I could sit here all day and look at this amazing view."
"Well, in that case, I'm definitely buying the house," say what? My mouth drops open and his right-hand cups my chin and I close my mouth. "All you see is danger in our house baby. Although we have some good memories, it's also your worst memories. I liked the look of this house because it's open. You will always be able to see the sun." Yes, I think that's one of the reasons why I fell in love with it.
"It's too much. We have a house already," I can't uproot my kids and move here because I'm broken and our house horrifies me.
"Nothing is too much for my wife and I can't have you spend another night sleeping outside." It wasn't planned but I had to get out of there.
"So we are doing this? You are buying this house?" I shift my weight so I'm sat on top of him with my legs either side of his lap.
"We are buying this house. What's mine is yours." Yeah yeah, whatever. I wish he would let me make some sort of contribution.
"Why were you so secretive?" If he just told me I wouldn't have been so irritated, I wouldn't have got so bored.
"I wanted your honest thoughts. When you think things are beyond what you deserve you start to shut down. You deserve this baby. There is nothing I wouldn't give you." I smile and he goes to stroke the top of my head and I pull away and grab his hand.
"I hope one day you won't be scared of me but for now I will accept it. I love you, Mrs Emmie Rider." I relax a little knowing his intention wasn't to pull my hair. He slides his fingers through my hair and he pulls me to his lips. He slides one of his hands up my top and I groan. I thought that this connection would fade over time but right now it just feels stronger and more intense than ever. He puts his hands on my hips and he lifts me up and sets me on my feet. "Nice to see that I still affect my wife." He kisses my cheek and I cross my arms.
"And you still like to leave me hanging," I grunt, he always does that to me. He slides his hand in mine and he leans into my ear again just not quite touching he's so close.
"We have no time baby, besides like you said threesomes don't do it for me, only you," he pulls away from my ear and that only makes things more intense and he knows it. He brings me with him back downstairs. We meet Samuel in the main entrance.
"Finished looking around?" I would have like to have stayed in that room forever with Damon by my side but hey ho.
"We have, I want this sale going through asap," Damon says. Yes please, no more house of horrors.
"Excellent, will you sign it?" Those words they give me De Ja Vu. Damon said those words to me. He wanted me to sign that important-looking paperwork. I should have read the damn thing but I trusted Damon and he probably would have hurt me if I tried to read it. I put my hands on my head and Hero starts whining. Everything goes black.
"Please, Damon. Don't hurt me, I'll sign. I promise." I hear Hero bark, I collapse to the floor protecting myself from the blows to come. I can't breathe, I try to get some air but I can't. I feel something jumping on me. I hear growling, that didn't happen.
"Shit, Emmie. I'm here, Hero, calm down. I'm trying to help her too." I feel Damon's hand on my side again and I remember how to breathe. I feel something heavy on my body and something licking my face. I open my eyes and I see Hero on me licking my face. He's still growling at Damon. "I'm not going to hurt you."
"Hero, stop," he instantly stops licking my face and stops growling. "Good boy," I say and stroke his head. "I know Damon, I'm sorry." Damon holds his hand out to me and I take it. Hero gets off me and sits by my feet.
"You know it's not easy trying to help you when the dog is trying to kill me to protect you. It's a good job I'll do anything for you." I giggle, "What triggered that?"
"You made me sign something. I didn't read it and now I'm kicking myself." I rest my head in his chest and he holds me.
"It's okay, baby. I got you. I'll finish signing these papers and then we will go home," he releases me and returns to signing the paperwork. I don't want to go back there but I guess I have to. They spend a while signing paperwork and I sit by the door with Hero. I really am tired, these triggers are exhausting. "You ready to go, baby?" I nod and he pulls me to my feet and we head to the car. I slide in and Hero gets in without being instructed. He rests his upper body on my lap and I stroke his head.
Damon gets in the car and flicks through his phone for a few minutes before setting off. I shut my eyes for a minute because that was tiring. I wake to growling and Damon is trying to wake me up and Hero is warning him. I groan, how did I fall asleep? I head for the house and I am greeted by Sully and I step back automatically and he looks in pain.
"Emmie, it's me, not the fake Sully." I know that I'm just so tired that I couldn't process for a second. I hold my arms up to him and he closes the distance and I clutch his neck. "I'm tired," I whisper and he picks me up and sits on the sofa with me on his lap. Hero follows and rests his head on my lap. Why didn't he growl? I remove my glasses and I rest my head into his neck and I shut my eyes for a while.
The door opens and I open my eyes and I see a young blonde woman walks into my house. The fuck is this, just walking into my house without being invited? "Who the hell are you and what are you doing in my house?" I growl but I don't move. She stops and stares at me and she acts scared and unconfident. Well good, you are in my house.
Damon comes from nowhere and puts his hand on her shoulder my whole body tenses and I sit up what the heck is this? "This is Ellie she's one of my bodyguards. She's been very loyal since you've been away." Oh, I bet she bloody has worming her way into my husband's good books whilst I was kidnapped. I look at Sully and he looks sad. I am absolutely livid.
"I bet she bloody has, Damon and I'm sure she comforted you whilst I was being tortured," I get off Sully's lap he grabs my hand before I get too far away but I keep walking and I head for the stairs.
"What does that mean?" Damon asks confused and goes to touch me but I step back and Hero growls. I don't know what to make of this I really don't. My head isn't what it once was, everything is blurring.
"Don't touch me," I growl and I storm off to the awful room. I slam the door and I huddle in my corner and Hero lays on my lap. I hold my head, flashbacks of Izzy come into my head. The first time I saw her I knew she was a threat. Why would he bring another woman into our house?
"Emmie, what was that all about?" I glare at him but I don't move. "Why are you in that corner again?"
"How could you bring another woman into my house, Damon? Do you know how that makes me feel?" I don't take kindly to random strange girls in my house. Has she been in my house often?
"Oh come on Emmie, she's one of my bodyguards. She's just a guard that happens to be a girl." Does he think I'm stupid or what?
"Oh yeah, like how you said Izzy was just a random girl. I feel like. . . I don't know, that she was replacing me when I was gone."
"How can you say that Emmie? I tell you over and over that you are the only one I want. She's not another Izzy. You know she meant nothing to me anyway. It's only ever going to be you, Emmie."
"I am broken Damon, maybe this Ellie can give you something I can't. I've always known that I hold you back. You deserve so much more than the pain I cause you." I yell, why am I yelling? I'm too emotional. Is it my exhaustion? My haywire brain? My anxiety?
"Emmie, shut up," he says disgustedly. " What would you do if I left you?" How is this relevant to anything?
"If that's what's stopping you leaving you don't have to worry. I have Hero, I wouldn't be living but that's okay." I won't have him stay out of pity.
"Emmie you are so frustrating. Do you realise the pain I was in when you were missing and when you hurt your self in prison? It broke me and the only time I feel alive is when you are with me. I would take this any day over losing you. I feel the luckiest guy on this planet that you want me. Sure it hurts that you are terrified of me but I'll spend every day proving I'm never going to hurt you, I will fix you." He always knows the right things to say to me but I'm too stressed to let this go.
"What if I never run right Damon? I feel this pull that's always been there anchoring me to you yet I also want to run far away from you where you can't hurt me. This house Damon, I need to leave it behind. I can't think clearly here."
"You will, I have faith that you will. I know it will take time, I'm in no shape or form a patient guy but I will wait a lifetime to make you happy. I know baby which is why we are going to Canada today."
"So why is this Ellie here if we are going away?" I already know his answer and it scares me how he can break me like this.
"Sully and Ellie are coming too I don't know how long we will be gone for, I need you protected."
"Why Ellie, Damon?" I growl and Hero gets up and guards me automatically. He starts to growl and I don't stop him.
"Because she has proved herself over everyone. You are being really sexist maybe even jealous." I bet she's bent over backwards to please him. I know how that feels to want to be the boss's favourite one to be special. Of course I am jealous. I went through hell and back treasuring the memories of us and he was here with her!
"Of course I am Damon are you stupid? Don't forget I know first hand how it feels to be the Boss's favourite. I'd prefer Dinosaur or even Liam over her."
"This isn't about what you want Emmie. Can you shut the damn dog up?" He wants this that badly that he won't listen to his wife?
"Clearly, get out Damon. He's here for my protection and he obviously thinks you're a threat now get out," I scream. Calm down Emmie, nothing's actually happened. I'm just tired and snappy.
"Emmie, don't so this. I'm not a threat." Whether he thinks it or not it's a different story. Why can't he see this red warning light I'm seeing? I can't explain it.
"You did this get out," I scream and he leaves the room and Hero stops growling. Tears fall from my face I'm so angry. The door opens again and Sully stands in the doorway and looks at me. Hero lays back on my lap and Sully comes in and shuts the door. He kneels in front of me and what Hero lets him? Why has he never growled at Sully?
"That was quite a screaming match, Emmie," he leans forward and rests his forehead on mine. "What is going on?"
"She's replacing me, Sully. Can't you see? She's got her claws into my husband whilst I've gone through hell and he can't see it. I can't explain how I feel Sully. I just . . . I know what it feels like to be the boss's favourite. I loved that I was Venom's favourite, I could control him without even knowing it. She's got control over him, Sully."
"Emmie, that was an extraordinary situation you were in. That's not how it happens in a gang, you were different because of who you are. It's unheard of that someone takes control like that. Ellie started from nothing, she has no power. You have all the power with everything, with your loved ones and with Damon. You control things without realising it. Take control Emmie like I know you can."
He wipes my tears, he makes me feel like I can do anything. I love my best friend, I sniff and nod. "I guess," the corner of his lips rise into one of his dazzling white teeth smiles and I can't look away.
"It sounded like he was going to kill Damon." I giggle and he strokes Hero and he lets him. I don't understand, he doesn't let anyone near me but Sully seems to be an exception. "Right, now get packed, Emmie. We are going shortly." I nod and he gets up and leaves the room and he shuts the door and I smile.
I get up and grab a suitcase from the wardrobe and I place it on the bed and I unzip it. I pack some clothes especially hoodies, I already dread the cold. It's snowing this time of year. I see the lingerie set that I wore on our vacation. That brings some good memories. I decide to take it even if I don't wear it, it's there. I pack everything I can think of and I zip up the suitcase. I pull it off the bed and I cringe. I'm still really sore and I feel really weak.
I drag the case out of the bedroom and I close the door. "Sully," I say but it wasn't very loud. "Sully," I shout again and I see him running up the stairs. "I'm still really sore, I'm tired and it's heavy." I try to pull the suitcase but I hardly move it. I never used to ask for help but I feel like I need it.
He frowns at me, "Come here," he holds his hands out to me and I jump into his arms and he holds me up with one arm and I cling my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist. He bends down and picks my case up.
"Superman's here," I giggle and bury my head into his neck. He's so strong to lift me and my suitcase.
"Emmie, you are lighter the case," he mutters and heads downstairs. That can't be true. When Sully takes me into the living room everyone is waiting.
"Emmie, you okay?" Damon says. I don't answer him because I'm still mad at him. "Fine, okay. Lilly, Thomas and Ellie with me. Caleb and Mom with Sully."
"Bloody typical," I mutter. Of course, he wants mousey with him. Sully tries to hush me gently, he knows how I feel.
"I've got everyone's passports. Make sure you put your own luggage in the car, I can't be responsible for everyone's. Off we go." Everyone makes their way out the door and Damon comes to me, "Are you tired, do you want me to take you to the car?"
"No, I want my best friend to," Damon grunts and walks off. "I need Hero's lead and case by the door and his bed," I say to Sully.
"Emmie, go easy on him okay? He's trying," he heads out the door, "I'll do back for Hero's things." He places me in the car and Hero gets in the footwell and puts his front half on my lap. Sully shuts the door and I shut my eyes.
"You okay Mom?" Caleb asks. "I heard Dad shouting at you again." I sigh, I hate that I shout whilst my kids are around.
"I'm okay baby, I'm just tired so I'm a bit cranky. Are you okay?" I don't open my eyes I just listen to Caleb talking to me. His voice is soothing like his fathers. When Sully has gathered everything from the house he slides into his seat. He grabs my hand and squeezes it.
"Are you cold?" I shrug. He takes his hoodie off and places it over me and Hero. If I'm cold now how will I cope in Canada in the snow? I open my eyes to look at Sully and he seems distracted. He starts the car and he sets off.
"I don't know what I'd do without you, Sully. I really don't, I love you," he pats Hero again and he places his hand on mine.
"I love you too, Emmie," he says and I close my eyes and relax. I'm away from the house of horrors and I have my best friend with me, my protective son and my loyal dog. I feel safe for the first time in a long time and I drift asleep on the way to the airport.