Fading Scars

Chapter 30

Emmie

When I wake Damon has gone. I grab my phone and it's 9.30 am. I get up and I shower before I start the day. I brush my teeth and put on some tracksuit bottoms and a top. I put a hoodie of Damon's on. If I can't have him then I'll keep this.
I grab a suitcase and I place it on the bed. I get my phone out and I see what Damon is doing. Damon is at his desk and Sully is with him. "Does Emmie seem okay to you, bro?"
"Seems it to me why? Some strange thing is going down with Dyno though."
"She begged me for sex last night which damn she doesn't need to do but then she cried all the way through. And then she cried for ages until she fell asleep. What strange thing?"
"Bro, come on man. Too much info but that does seem odd. Maybe she's emotional about her cancer maybe she's feeling more vulnerable than we thought. I don't know, he transferred money from Emmie's personal bank account to Lexi and Danny's account. He wouldn't tell me how much and when she was in Stefan's office he asked if there was anything else she wanted to talk about and she looked at me awkwardly and said no she needs proof."
"Why would she send them money?" Damon looks at the door, "Dyno!" he shouts. "Get the fuck in here now!" Moments later I see Dyno walk in and he glances at the camera before he looks at Damon. "How much did you deposit into Lexi's bank account?"
"Umm, 500,000 euros and the same into Danny's why?"
"Why the fuck would she want you to do that?"
"She didn't say."
"Billy said you were doing something for Emmie in here yesterday. What was it?"
"You did something with her phone too."
"Christ, what is this accuse Dyno day? She wanted help with her photos on her phone. She deleted some by mistake. I managed to recover them for her." he's keeping my secret. I don't want to eavesdrop anymore so I close the app and put the phone in my pocket. I start putting Damon's clothes in the suitcase. I never thought I'd be doing this. I don't know what's going on exactly but all I know is I'm worth more than this. Tears fall from my face again. I grab his toothbrush and his body wash and I place it in the suitcase.
All his belongings in one suitcase, he doesn't have loads of stuff. I zip up the suitcase and I pull it off the bed. I can't lift it but I drag it out the bedroom and across the hallway to the stairs. I push the suitcase down the stairs and it bangs down and slides on the wooden floor until it comes to a stop. Okay, case down safely now just me. I hold onto the handrail and hero's harness and I take one step as I can.
When I reach the bottom, I head to the printer in the lounge. I screenshot a picture of Damon and Alex together and I send it to the printer. When it's printed I find some tape and I tape it to his suitcase. I drag the case out the front door. I take a picture of the case outside the door. I close the door behind me and I put the chain across so he can't come in.
I never thought I'd see the day when I'd kick him out of my house. I head to the kitchen and I feed Hero. I open the back door and I walk to one of the deck chairs. I lay in the sun trying to settle myself. I need to purchase a swing chair. My phone rings and I look at the caller ID, it's Damon. I reject the call, I didn't even send him that picture. I watch Hero roaming the garden.
My phone rings again and now it's Sully. I reject it and open up the app. "Why the fuck won't she answer the phone? She must be awake if she's cutting the call."
"Shall I go round there?"
"No, if I don't hear from her I'll go myself after lunch." I close the app and I recline the chair and curl up. I wake feeling disorientated and I remember I'm in the garden. I push myself up and I stagger into the house. I look at my phone and it has missed calls. I ignore it and I lay on the sofa.
Why is he so concerned if he's the one that wants to leave me? Everything about his actions I don't understand. I hear keys entering the lock and then the door is stopped by the chain. "Emmie?" he mutters. "Emmie, let me explain. Open the door." Damon calls through the door. I push myself up and I stagger to the door.
I slide down the wall, I don't look at him but I can sense him looking at me. "I don't need you to explain Damon. You're having an affair, what more is there?"
"Baby, please. Let me in." Tears fall from my face again and I put my forehead in my hands. Keep this together don't cave Emmie. "Emmie, I need to explain..."
"Look, I don't need you to spare my feeling because I'm sick Damon. We are over, you want Alex, end of."
"No, not end of. Emmie, I fucking love you." Funny way of showing it, "Emmie, Alex has cancer. She needs me she's all alone but I don't want to lose you. You're everything to me."
I glare at him, "So what was your plan huh? You wanted us both? I won't share you, Damon, I can't. I need you but not like this."
All seems convenient that she has cancer, "Emmie, I need you."
"So you say but you are having an affair with her? You promised me you didn't want anyone else!" I scream. I can't stop the uncontrollable sobs.
"Baby, I want to hold you. Let me in, I never meant to hurt you."
"I gave you an out and you said you didn't want it! You can't have both worlds, Damon, not with me. Please, just leave Damon."
"You need me, baby. Let me hold you," I can't if I let him in that would be it.
"I'm not your problem anymore. If you love me you'll leave, it hurts so fucking much to see you. You're breaking me, Damon. I hope you're truly happy."
"No, baby. I need you to be happy."
"I will never be happy without you. I gave you my trust, I gave you everything. You have my heart, I will never want anyone else. I'll just have to learn to live without you."
"Don't do this Emmie. I don't want to live without you."
"You did this. If you want me, you'll have to give up Alex. I will let you back in my life only then. Please, Damon, choose me."
"She has no one, Emmie. I still love her even if I love you more." I pull myself up from the wall and hold onto the wall.
"Okay, that's your choice. Goodbye Damon, I love you." I push all my weight on the door so it closes and I deadlock it so he can't open it. He bangs on the door but I ignore him. I look at the time and it's 2 pm. I walk to the kitchen and bend down to the wine rack. I pick a bottle of red wine and I grab a glass in the top cupboard. I grab a plastic one so I don't break it if I drop it.
I take it to the sofa and I put the TV on. I find a film on Netflix to watch and I open the wine and fill up the glass. I take a gulp of wine and sit against the sofa. This is a reasonable response to my nearly 17-year relationship ending. The love of my life my everything. I down the glass trying to make the pain disappear.
The film makes me more depressed watching it. My love was better than that and he wants someone else. My phone rings and it's a facetime from Sully. I answer it, "Hey, Big guy,"
"Fuck, you look awful Emmie." I drink more wine. I miss my mouth so I have to wipe my mouth with Damon's hoodie. "How much have you had to drink?"
"Not enough," I mutter.
"I'm coming over if you won't let Damon in you'll let me right?"
"No, I want to be alone. He's having an affair, I just need some time to process what that means."
"I'm coming anyway. I don't want you being alone." he hangs up and I put the phone on the table. I top up the glass and I turn up the volume on the TV. I cry at the film but deep down it's just an excuse to cry at my pain.
I finish the bottle and I get up and I fall over. This time it's probably due to the alcohol than it is the cancer. I pull myself up and I head to the kitchen for another bottle. When I reach the kitchen I hear banging on the door. "Emmie!" Sully calls. I have no idea how long he's been there.
I clumsily walk to the door and place my ear on the door, "I said I didn't want company." I hear him trying to turn his key in the lock again.
"Emmie, open the door." I roll my eyes, I take the chain and deadlock off and I unsteadily walk back to the kitchen. I reach another bottle and I stagger back to the sofa. I fall on the sofa, "Emmie," I unscrew the bottle and I start pouring it into the glass. I can't keep the bottle still so some drips on the table. Once I fill the glass I put the cap back on the bottle. I bring the glass to my lips but Sully prizes the glass away from me. "You've had enough Emmie."
"Did you put the chain on the door?" I look up at Sully and he looks concerned.
"No."
I stand up and I sway, "Whoa," I hold Sully's head who's sat on the sofa now. "I need to put the chain on. I need to protect myself, I need to put the wall up. I need," I shut my eyes to think, "I need to keep everyone out. I'm safe here."
"I'll put the chain across. Sit down, you have trouble walking when you're sober."
"Ha, sure. You go, you can protect me." I flop on the sofa and lay down on it. I grab the remote and close Netflix. I put on a channel with sad love songs and turn it up louder.
When Sully returns he leans down to grab the remote from me. I pull him on top of me and he shifts his weight so he's next to me. He prizes the remote out of my hand and he turns off the tv. "Emmie, I want to talk."
"What is there to talk about? I'm not mentally unstable, I'm just trying to deal with this. I need to numb this pain. The hole I feel in my chest, I can't breathe."
"How do you know he's having an affair?"
"Did he not tell you, or show you? I've got CCTV in his office. I saw with my own eyes Sully." I feel around the table for my phone and I strain my eyes to see the screen. I find the app and I squint to replay the incriminating footage. I pass Sully the phone and he watches it. I hear Alex say, you need to tell her. I sit up and grab the glass, I take another mouthful and Sully sits up and takes the glass.
He puts it back on the table, "Stop, drinking Emmie." he says softly. He locks my phone and puts the phone down. "I'm sorry, I didn't know." I fall back again. I start crying again and I muffle my sobs into his chest. I cry until I'm all cried out.
When I wake I'm all alone again on the sofa. My head is pounding. I get up and I put the chain across the door. I guess I'll have to get used to waking up alone. I let Hero out in the garden and I put his food down. I make my way upstairs and shower, I reek. I brush my teeth when I'm done. I get dressed into Damon's hoodie again. I don't bother brushing my hair. My eyes are all red and puffy. I really do look like shit.
I slide my phone in my pocket and I see Hero by my side. I make my way out my room not really bothering to take note of my clumsy feet. I take a few steps down the stairs and I trip rolling down the staircase and I flip through the rails of the spiral staircase and I fall from halfway up to the floor. I land on my wrist and my right side. I groan I try to pull myself up but I can't. I take my phone out of my pocket with my left hand.
I scroll through the contacts and press call, "Emmie?"
"Lucas... can you come to mine when you're free?"
"Is everything okay?"
"Sure, it's not an emergency. I can wait... just, please. Come when you can."
"When you say not an emergency, what do you mean?"
"I mean, I need you but I'm not dying. Well, I have cancer but yeah. I'm not going to die from now until you come."
"Okay, I'll be there soon." I hang up and try to pull myself towards the wall. I lean against the wall and I pull the sleeve up on my right arm. I assess my wrist, I try and move it but it's too painful. Man, broken wrist great.
I feel my head where I fell and blood covers my fingers, I don't think it's too bad. Damn it, Hero cries and lays on my lap. How the hell am I going to get the frickin' door open? I lift the hoodie and top up and it's bruising around my hip and ribs. I poke my ribs and they are sore but not as bad as last time.
I let the hoodie fall and I look around the room to help me open the door. I point to the broom and tell Hero to fetch it. He just looks at me on my lap, I haven't taught him to fetch yet. "Hero, get the broom." I point and he stands up he walks in the direction of the broom. "Good boy, bring to me." I keep pointing with my good arm. I clutch my right arm to my chest.
Hero grabs the broom and drags it back to me. I pat his head when he's passed it to me. I grab the broom end and I try to push the chain with the end of the broom with my good arm. Argh, this is frustrating, come on Emmie. Now I know why they all freak out when I lock myself in somewhere. It takes me a good ten minutes to get the chain. Now I need to work out how to open the frickin' door.
I look at my phone and open the app. Damon's office is empty, I look at the tape from this morning. Damon is sat at his desk early says 7 am. I fast forward until I see Sully. I press play, "What the hell, bro?"
"Calm down, Sully."
"Calm down? Seriously? She was an absolute mess last night. I've never seen her like that before!"
"Is she okay?"
"When I got there she'd already demolished a bottle of wine. She let me in after ten minutes of banging on the door. She started another bottle but I wouldn't let her drink it. She showed me the footage. Why? Why would you do that? You know she's put her wall up. Not sure if she will ever let anyone in that house again."
"Bro, come on. Did she tell you Alex has cancer? She needs me."
"And what about Emmie? Huh? She's shut everyone out. I'm surprised she let me in the house. She cried for hours and she was restless in her sleep. I can't believe you would choose Alex over Emmie!"
Damon gets up from his seat and walks towards Sully. Sully punches Damon in the face and I gasp. I don't want them fighting over me. "I guess I deserve that." Damon holds his nose and puts his hand up to protect himself.
"You deserve a lot more than that."
"I didn't want it to play out like this. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt, Emmie. I love her so much. To see her yesterday in hysterics and I couldn't hold her it broke me."
"Well, good job you didn't see her after that." I turn the app off. I don't want to see anymore. I rest my head on the wall and I shut my eyes. I rest for ages, half an hour? An hour? Two? I don't know. I never keep track of time anymore.
There's a knock on the door and I jump awake. I look at the door, well let's give this a try. "Hero, door." I point with my good arm. He jumps up and launches at the door. "Open the door Hero," I say again and he manages to clip the handle open. I close my eyes in relief.
"Emmie?" I smile, "Emmie, jeez what the hell happened?"
"I er, fell off the stairs."
"What do you mean you fell off the stairs."
"I tripped and I fell through there." I open my eyes and point. "I broke my wrist." I remove my right arm up from my side and I show him. He touches it gently, "Ow," I protest.
"Yeah, you've broken it all right. Your head Emmie?" he gets up and heads for the kitchen. He returns with a tea towel. He twists it and ties it around my head. "When you said not emergency I thought, something far less sinister. I would have come sooner if I'd known."
"I didn't want to bother you."
"Where are Damon and Sully? Can you get up?"
"Damon doesn't live here anymore, Sully comes and goes when I let him. I hurt my side when I fell. I can't get up."
"Why doesn't Damon live here anymore? You need looking after now more than ever."
"He's having an affair so I kicked him out yesterday."
"Emmie, what...?"
"Look, I don't want to talk about it." he nods and lifts me up and I groan. My body hurts, he shuts the front door behind us and he places me in his car. I've never been in Lucas's car. Hero jumps in the footwell as normal.
Lucas reaches over and puts my seatbelt on. I move my arm out the way of the belt. "Will you call Sully? You need someone."
"I will when I'm fixed. He will only worry." Lucas accepts it and drives towards the hospital. I close my eyes.
"Emmie, please don't sleep. Not until I've checked your head."
"I have trouble staying awake these days. Travelling wears me out and my head is banging from last night."
"What happened last night?"
"I er, drowned my sorrows in wine. I was on my second bottle when Sully came. He wouldn't let me drink any more." The song amazed comes on the radio and I turn it off. Our first dance song, why of all the songs did it have to be that one.
"Emmie, that won't help you. You need to be rested for the op."
"It hurts Lucas. I needed to numb the pain."
"I'm not saying it doesn't Emmie but you need to look after yourself. Do you want me to call Stefan for you." I shake my head. I'm not ready to talk through these feelings with Stefan.
When we arrive at the hospital Lucas lifts me from the car. "You're putting on weight. That's a good sign."
"Yep, a whole 6 stone 5 pounds," I say chuffed. He laughs at my enthusiasm.
    "Your wrist probably snapped easily due to that." I frown, I just break easily. He carries me into the hospital and pauses at the reception desk.
"Jenny, can you book a CT for Emmie Rider asap please?"
"Sure, Dr Grey."
"Let me know when it's ready." She nods and he carries me into my room. He lowers me on the bed and I cringe. Hero jumps on the bed, crap what will I do with him during the scan? I rest my eyes for a bit, "Emmie, I mean it. Don't fall asleep."
"Hey, Lucas..." I open my eyes and he looks at me, "You should know me by now. I don't always do as I'm told." I smile and he laughs, well at least he found it funny.
"Doctor, it's ready for you." he thanks her and he picks me up and carries me out the room. I'm surprised he hasn't got me a wheelchair. Unless he can't be bothered to fight with me. He heads towards the CT room. I've been here often enough now.
"Umm, what can I do with your dog?" Lucas asks when we reach the room. I shrug, "take me in there." I point to where Lucas controls the system. He enters the room, "Hero, sit." he sits immediately whilst watching me. "Wait." I look at Lucas, "he may try to get out so you'll need to shut the door. Oh, and he will probably cry so you'll need to be quick." Lucas backs out the door and shuts it behind us.
I hear Hero crying already. Lucas lowers me onto the bed, "Phone." Lucas holds his hand out and I pass it to him. He pushes the bed in and he's gone. I wait for the scan to be finished. Minutes passed and Lucas says nothing, "Emmie are you feeling okay?"
"No, why?"
"I didn't have to calm you down."
"Nothing can hurt me or scare me like Damon has. He's left a huge gaping hole that hurts more than anything. This is nothing."
He doesn't say anything for a while, "Your wrist has snapped in half but your head is fine. I'm coming back in." Hero's crying gets closer and I'm being pulled back out of the bed. Lucas lifts me up and returns me to my room.
I block out the stitches on my head. "What colour, Emmie?" I look up at him and he's watching me.
"Huh?"
"What colour cast?" I shrug.
"Pink?" he nods, "Are we going to be long? I need to get home before Damon realises. I need to lock everyone out."
"About half an hour Emmie." I groan, "You can sleep now if you prefer." I nod and I shut my eyes. I drift for a while until my phone rings. I grab it from the table where Lucas must have left it. Facetime from Sully, I lay back down and answer the call.
"Emmie, where are you? You aren't home..."
"I er, had a wee bit of an accident. Don't panic though."
"What do you mean an accident?" I open my eyes and he looks worried. He tries looking around me but I have it on my face so he can't see much. I move the phone further away and capture my room and then put back on my face.
"I fell from the stairs, I broke my wrist and I had stitches on my head bruised hip and ribs but I'm all good, I promise."
"Why the hell didn't you call me?" I can see him moving most likely to his car.
"I didn't want to worry you. I called Lucas he came to get me. I'm waiting for the cast to be put on."
"I'm on my way, stay there." I roll my eyes and hang up. Yeah like I can get anywhere fast. I place my phone on the table and I hold my side.
"Did you fall on your side?" Lucas says making me jump.
"Well, yeah. Just bruising." Lucas puts the materials down and lifts the hoodie up. He pokes around, "You would have seen it on the scan if I broke anything. Honestly, it's fine."
"I wasn't looking at your side but I think you're right. Just bruising, I'll get you some pain relief before you go." he starts applying the cast and my eyes grow heavy watching him.
"Emmie, is Damon really cheating on you? I mean you thought that in Canada..."
"Yeah Lucas, I put CCTV in his office. It's all caught on camera, can you do me a huge favour?"
"Sure,"
"Alex Ruiz, I need to know if she's got cancer. I know you can't confidentially tell me but can you like blink once if yes and blink twice for no."
"Is that who Damon is having an affair with? Emmie, I'm not allowed. No matter how much I want to." I nod, I understand. When Lucas finishes he leaves the room.
What did I expect? He can't tell me it's against their rules, I just don't trust Alex. I close my eyes and I drift for a while. "Emmie," Lucas says. I open my eyes, "I updated your file for you." I frown when he exaggerates the word file. He widens his eyes and he blinks and I cock my head to the side and he blinks again.
I knew it, "Thank you, Lucas." I smile. I hear the door open and I see Sully rushing to my side. He strokes my face near my stitches and I flinch.
"Jesus, Emmie." he places his forehead gently on mine.
"I'm fine, I'm just sore."
"Right, I'll get on that Emmie and then you can go home," Lucas says and I think he left the room but I can't see.
"Seriously Emmie, you scared me. I thought you..." he doesn't want to say it.
"I'm not suicidal Sully, I'm just sick. I fell and the stairs aren't straight down. I flipped through the railings. It's not very Emmie proof. Falling from that height hurts like a bitch."
Sully laughs briefly and then he lays next to me on the bed. He puts his arm around my shoulder. I grab his right hand and I trace his sore knuckles. "That was some punch big guy although there was no need on my account."
"You saw that?"
"I have a hidden camera in there. I keep an eye on things from my phone."
"Dyno wasn't really helping you with lost photos, was he? He set up the camera for you."
"Nope, he picked it out at the store for me and installed it. He really was helping me, I would have done it alone but I probably would have wasted more energy."
"You could have told me, Emmie."
"No, you would have confronted Damon and then I wouldn't have caught him. Dyno promised not to say anything. He doesn't always assume I'm seeing things or I'm crazy."
"You know I don't think like that. I believed you with Ellie, I just had to try shut it down." I curl up into his chest. Lucas comes back and gives me some painkillers to take orally.
"Okay, your cast will take a couple of days to harden so please be careful. Sully, keep an eye on her. Watch her on the bloody stairs."
"I won't let her out of my sight." I poke my tongue out at them. They both laugh and Sully slides out of bed. Sully lifts me out of bed. I don't think he's ever going to let me walk again. "Thanks Doc," Sully says and I shut my eyes and rest my head in Sully's neck.
I wake in bed alone and I'm all sweaty. Sully walks into the room and frowns at me, "You okay? I heard you scream."
"I wish I could stay awake and not have these awful dreams not that I remember that one." I put my hands on my head. "Can I go downstairs? Watch some telly?"
"Can you not watch it up here?"
"I want to go downstairs. Did you chain the door?"
"Fine and Emmie, he's not going to hurt you."
"He's already hurt me more than anything. I can't handle him near me, Sully."
"If you don't want him around then that's fine, I'll keep him away but he wants to talk to you." Sully picks me up and carries me towards the stairs. He stops halfway down the stairs, "Is this where you fell from?" I nod. He carries on walking, "Christ, let's be thankful you came away with minor injuries." he puts me on the sofa. "I'm going to order some food. Anything you fancy?"
"Umm, Indian?" he nods and picks up his phone. I grab the remote and I pick a series on Netflix called Toy Boy. When Sully sits down I lean against him and I press play. "Where did my wine go."
"I got rid of it, can't trust you when I'm not here."
"It helps numb the pain." he strokes my hair and he holds me tight.
"Trust you to want to watch this, Emmie." I giggle and then stop immediately. What's not to like, male strippers? We watch a fair few episodes before I fall asleep again.
I wake up with a start again a few days later. I'm panting and I sit upright in bed. I'm alone but I reckon Sully isn't far away he feeds Hero for me when I'm asleep. I get in the shower holding my cast out of the way. I need to get a waterproof cover for it. Once I'm finished I wrap the towel around me and I shave as quick as I can. Man, that's worn me out.
I put on some PJ's as no doubt I'm not allowed out again. I get back in bed and I get my phone out it's 10 am. I replay the footage from last night. It's been clean for days only Damon working late. I caught him crying the other night and it broke me. I gasp when I see her, she sits astride him on his chair. He seems upset and she kisses his neck.
"Forget her Damon, you don't need her. Think about the old times, Damon. All that sex, I bet she wasn't so adventurous."
"Alex, enough okay." Damon pushes her head away from his neck.
"Lose yourself with me." he takes a moment to think about it but then he pushes her on the desk. He flips her on her stomach and I can't watch anymore. I throw my phone at the wall and it drops to the floor.
The door opens and Sully looks at the wall and then at me. He picks up my phone and he sits in front of me. "What's up?"
"Just watching the footage from last night. I can't get it out of my head."
"Emmie, don't watch it. It only breaks you further." Sully shifts closer to me and puts his legs over mine so his legs wrap around my waist.
He's so close, he puts his hands on my cheeks and wipes a stray tear away. I put my head in his neck and I skim my lips on his neck. He gasps and he's probably gone red. I start trailing kisses on his neck. "Emmie, don't." he's wanted this for years and well Damon and I are over. I want to try, I want him. I remove my head from his neck and I look into his beautiful blue eyes. "Emmie..." he breathes.
I lean forward and I touch my lips to Sully's. Sully keeps his hands on my face. I take a second to adjust to someone else's lips on mine instead of Damon's. Sully doesn't push me away but he doesn't move either. I put my hands on his face and I kiss him properly and he returns the kiss instantly. It feels strange, it's been a long time since I voluntarily kissed someone else but this is the first that I've actually enjoyed it and I want more.
"Emmie, stop." Sully pulls his lips away and I look into his eyes and they are fixed and dilated. He's into this so why is he stopping me? "You don't want this. I know you only want Damon."
"Damon doesn't want me. Sure I know it will always be Damon and I'm not sure what this is but I want this. Damon and I are over, in this moment I want you. Please, Sully, I'm dying. I need to do this. I want to see if I can."
"Emmie, you aren't dying, don't say that."
"I'm so scared Sully that I won't make it this time. It's not like I won't try but I'm already so tired. I don't think I'll wake up from the op Sully please." A tear ripples down my face and he moves his legs so they are between mine and he lowers me on my back and he puts his weight on me.
"You don't have to beg me, I'm a given. I just had to make sure it's what you want," his lips find mine and his lips are demanding. I open my mouth for his tongue to torture mine. His hands slide down my body whilst he continues to kiss me. His hands gather up my top and I quickly stop his hands.
He lets go and breaks the kiss, "Please, not the top." I grab his top and I pull it over his head. I try catching my breath after his demanding kiss. I undo his jeans and he pulls his jeans and boxers off. He slides down my body and his fingers slide into my waistband and he looks up at me. I don't stop him and he pulls my shorts and panties down my legs and he discards them on the floor.
We can't take our eyes off each other and I'm panting trying to settle my breathing. He kisses the inside of my thighs and I call out. I sense his grin and he trails his kisses up my body slowly until he reaches my neck. He kisses my neck and I groan, it's odd for me to want someone else other than Damon. It's by no means the same but it feels normal, like how it should be if I wasn't fucked up.
His lips find mine again and I place my hands on his hips and I try pulling him closer to me. "Ready?" he whispers in my ear. I nod, "You don't have to do this."
"I want you, Sully." he slides into me and I still his hips with my hands, "wait," I say more panicked that I was supposed to.
"I need a minute. It takes me a sec to adjust since Mr D." I say and Sully kisses my lips and it distracts me from the discomfort. After a while, I flex my hips and Sully starts to move. His hand slides up my top and his hand grasps my breast. He uses his fingers to tease my nipple and I groan into his mouth.
Sully, has moves and it makes me relax. Damon always makes me forget everything around me and we don't need long because our touch means so much more. Sully and I keep this up for ages until we find our release. When I come back around I'm laying on his right side stroking his abs with my fingers but I'm careful as it's my broken wrist. He strokes my back and I am cautious where his hand is but I don't stop him. We don't say anything we just soak each other in.
I feel the sun on my body through the window. Deep down I thought I would regret this but I think I needed to do this. I needed to prove to myself that I was strong enough for someone else to touch me. I wouldn't be able to let anyone else do it though. I actually enjoyed it and that surprises me. It wasn't uncomfortable and I'm somewhat happier now than I was before. It will still only be Damon for me but this was nice.
Sully's phone starts ringing and he sits up and grabs his phone from his pocket. He rejects the call and puts it on the bedside table. I don't think he wants this bubble to end either. I look up at him and he looks down at me. His phone rings again and this time he answers it, "What do you want, bro?" I perch on my elbow looking at Sully and he looks at me again, "No, Damon not yet."
I lean forwards and I kiss his neck and he groans. I bite and suck his neck giving him a hickey, "Christ, Emmie." he mumbles. I release him and I kiss his nipples and tug on them with my teeth. "Look bro, I'll be in later." I continue to kiss down his body and I stop at the bottom of his abs. I look at Sully through my eyelashes and his eyes are fixed on me. "Bro, seriously. I'll see you later, I've got to go." Sully hangs up the phone and I take him in my mouth and he clutches the covers with his hands and his hands ball into fists.
I sit up and I sit on his lap. Sully sits up so we are nose to nose. He lowers me onto him and he grabs my top, I grab his hands again, "Don't hide from me. I want to see you, all of you." I rest my head in his neck for a moment to process it. He wants this so I release his hands and look him in the eyes again. I let him remove my top and we lose ourselves again.
When we finish he is laying on my right side. Luckily my side isn't hurting too much. He starts tracing my stomach with his fingertips. I grab his hand but I let him carry on. It's still uncomfortable like this but it's much better with my hand over his. We lay like this for ages until his phone starts ringing again. He leans over me to retrieve his phone and he returns to his earlier position.
I stroke his hair with my cast hand, "Hello,"
"Alright Dyno, I'll be in soon. Tell him to calm the hell down."
"I'm coming, jeez." Sully hangs up and groans. "Looks like I'm being summoned. I don't want to leave you alone. Please come, it will make me feel better. He really wants to speak to you. He's been bugging me every day to persuade you."
"Fine, only because it's you, big guy," he gets up and he slides his boxers and jeans on and I sit up to watch him. He walks to my wardrobe and gets me some clothes.
He puts the pile of clothes in front of me, "Get dressed before I keep you here for longer." I bite my lip and he kisses my cheek. I dress quickly keeping my eyes on Sully whilst he continues dressing. I slide my phone in my back pocket. He picks me up and carries me out into the hallway, "Wait," he looks at me. "I need a hoodie in case I get cold. He frowns at me, "I want one of yours." he raises his eyebrow and turns for his room.
He drops me on his bed and I bounce. He rummages in his draws and chucks me a hoodie. I place it over my head and I smell the sleeves. My Sully smell, he can protect me. He picks me back up and he takes me downstairs, he shuts the door behind us and walks to the car. He slides me in and puts my seatbelt on before getting in his side. I don't even have shoes on but I guess it doesn't matter. Like he'd let me walk anyway.
Hero rests his head on my lap. Once Sully has set off for the safe house I look at the time on my phone it's 2 pm wow, we killed some time and I'm only too pleased that I didn't waste those hours sleeping. I open the app and look at the live feed. He looks angry as hell and I groan. Sully takes my phone off me, "Stop watching it Emmie, you only hurt yourself." he puts my phone in his pocket. I'm surprised I didn't break it when I lobbed it at the wall.
I grab his hand I clutch his hand to my chest and I fall asleep. When I wake I'm in Sully's arms walking. I open my eyes and Sully's watching me. I smile at him and he smiles back. We haven't really spoken about what happened but I don't feel like I need to. We were just two people enjoying each others company. It was good for me but I hope Sully hasn't got any other expectations.
He enters the building and he sets me on my feet by the office. Sully walks into the office and I lean my back on the wall. "Where the fuck have you been? I wanted you here hours ago."
"Calm down bro, I'm here now. I brought you something."
"Whatever it is, I'm not interested." He really is in a bad mood.
"Oh trust me, you'll be interested." Sully reaches for my hand and he pulls me into the room. He escorts me to the sofa so I can sit down.
"Emmie?" Damon says and he makes his way to me.
"I'll leave you to it," Sully says and I frown at him. "You'll be okay," he reassures me. Damon kneels in front of me and I watch Sully leave. I look down at Damon and he places his hands on the side of my thighs. I gasp at his touch.
"Emmie, what the hell happened?"
"I um, fell down the stairs a few days ago. Well not really down the stairs, I fell through the rails."
"I knew they'd be a hazard for you. I'll have to get an architect in to put in normal stairs." I don't bother arguing with him because he will do it anyway. "I've missed you so much, baby."
I stroke his hair to try and comfort him, he looks so sad and tired like he hasn't slept much. It hurts to be so close to him and not have him. "I've missed you too but nothing has changed."
"You need me, I need you, time apart has only made me realise that more."
"Then choose me, Damon. I beg you, choose me and I'll let you take me home right now. Please, it's only ever going to be you for me. Without you, I don't know where I would be. I love you with all my heart. Choose me and only me, please. I've never begged you so much in my life. I'm sorry I'm so sick, I'm sorry I haven't always been a great wife but no one is going to love you more than I do. Come home, come home to me."
"I wish I could baby, but Alex...She's all alone, she's getting really sick. She needs me."
"I need you, Damon, I'm your wife and I have cancer. I mean look at me, I've been a mess and I broke my arm in that time. I sleep most of the day, I have awful nightmares. Why aren't I enough for you?"
"You are enough for me, baby. Don't ever think you're not." The door clicks open and we both look at the door and I groan, "Alex? What are you doing here?"
"What is she doing here?" Damon stands up and returns to his chair at his desk. "He doesn't want you anymore, why can't you accept that?" I roll my eyes.
"Yeah, so that's why I kicked him out because I can't accept that."
I pull myself to my feet and I have to hold Hero with both hands. "Well, you're the one that is here. He's mine, you need to stop coming here." I make my way to her and I grab her hair and I shove her face into the desk.
"Emmie..." Damon warns.
"Speak to me like that again and I'll make you wish that you were dying of cancer." I lean closer to her ear and whisper, "I know you don't have cancer but don't worry I won't tell him. I'm not pathetic enough to trap him like that and well if he's foolish enough to believe that then you can have him." I stand up straight, "Hero, guard," Hero snarls and edges closer to her face and she screams. "You know what? I'm done fighting for you Damon. You can come home when you wish but I don't want contact before then. I will be alone all my life until then."
"Emmie, one day you could find someone."
"You know that's not true but I did have sex with someone earlier. Twice." I look at him and raise my eyebrow and he punches the desk.
"Who the fuck hurt you? I'll kill them." Alex begins to whimper in my hold.
"No one Damon it was consensual and what's more I enjoyed it, how does that make you feel?"
"Livid, you are mine."
"Not anymore, not until you return."
"You said you couldn't accept anyone else's touch, was that a lie? You slept with a stranger?"
"Are you kidding me?" he doesn't tell me to release Alex, why? "I thought you knew me, I could never let a stranger touch me. No, this was someone closer to home." he thinks this over and then it clicks in his head and he slams his fists on the desk again.
"You had sex with my best friend?" Moments later Sully grabs me from behind and pulls me away from Alex.
"Hero, enough. Good boy." he follows us to the sofa and I lay between Sully's legs. I lay facing the wall so I don't see them.
"How the fuck could you do that to me, Bro?" Damon shouts and I curl further into Sully's chest.
"You told him?" Sully whispers to me. I don't reply, "You left her, don't blame this on me. She's been a mess and it just happened. I know it won't lead to anything, she's waiting for you to return but I don't think you deserve it."
"Damon wants a divorce." Alex snaps. I flinch and start shaking, I didn't even think about that.
"Alex, enough. Just shut up for a minute." Damon snaps at Alex. He's never snapped at me like that before.
"Damon..." I say quietly. Moments later I feel his hand on my arm. He gets up and returns with a blanket. "I can't, I won't. I have to have hope for the both of us. I'm sorry but I won't divorce you whether you want me or not. I want to die married to you."
"Emmie, enough with the bloody dying crap." Sully groans.
"There are no guarantees, nobody knows the future. I feel so tired."
"Emmie, I don't want a divorce calm down." he strokes my hair.
"Damon, I want her dog." I tense again.
"Alex, enough, Hero is Emmie's dog. No one can take him away."
"What does she want next, my kids?"
"Our kids Emmie and no one can take them away from you." I feel so tired, "Take her upstairs to rest. I'll be up in a sec." Damon's hand disappears and Sully picks me up and starts walking. I feel him walking up the stairs and seconds later he lowers me in bed and I clutch his top.
"Calm down, Emmie." he prizes my hands off his shirt and he climbs over me and he hugs me from behind.
"I begged him Sully and he didn't come back to me. Why aren't I enough? What does she have that I don't?"
"Nothing Emmie, she has nothing on you. It's just the cancer thing with Alex, he doesn't want her to go through what you've been through."
"She doesn't even have cancer." I mumble.
"What, how do you know?"
"I have my sources."
"Well, tell Damon then, he will return immediately." I shake my head and he sighs, "You want him to return for himself, you're so stubborn."
"You can't tell him, it has to be his choice."
"You cause most of your pain Emmie, now sleep." I pull his hand to my heart and I drift to sleep.
"How could you do that to me, bro?" I wake to them talking.
"I didn't do it to hurt you, she was so sad, I couldn't say no."
"How has she been? Why didn't you tell me she had an accident."
"She didn't want me to tell you. She didn't want you in the house, she always wanted the chain across so you couldn't get in. She didn't even tell me, I called her when she was in hospital. She always wakes up terrified."
"I've really broken her this time haven't I?"
"Yes, I think you have." I fall back to sleep.
I stir and Damon puts his hand on my cheek. "Baby?" Damon says softly and I mumble. "Baby, you are enough for me. I want you, you just won't let me in."
"I can't share you, Damon. I've told you this, just be happy okay." he shifts me on top of him and he sits up so we are nose to nose. "I'm here, why won't you choose me, your wife." I kiss him on a whim. He's so close that I couldn't bear the distance between us. He groans and I slide my hands through his hair. "Choose..." I deepen the kiss, "me..." he pulls my head towards him.
His touch means so much more, "It's not about choosing, baby." he goes to kiss me again but I move away.
"Of course it is, where is Sully?"
"He's on a job baby." I scramble out of bed. "Where are you going?"
"Home, I can't be here with you not like this. You are breaking me." I carefully walk to the door and I shut it behind me creating distance. I walk to the stairs and I look down debating how I can get down safely without falling again. I see Dyno walk past the bottom of the stairs. "Dinosaur," I call feeling the vulnerability in my voice. Dyno walks backwards until he is in my view.
"Em?"
"Can you help me down the stairs? Last time I went down the stairs I broke my wrist." I hold my arm up and he takes the stairs two by two until he reaches me.
"Jesus Em, you really are accident-prone." he lifts me up and starts walking down the stairs.
"Can you take me home, please? I don't like it here anymore. I don't have my key though." he looks at me confused.
"Sure, I have a spare anyway." Dyno takes me home and carries me to bed. He waits until Sully returns home. I stay awake until Sully is with me. I get more nightmares that night.