Strictly Platonic

☼ P R U D E

I stared at Adam, my jaw dropped and my eyes wide. Okay, what?

Before I could process what I was doing, I brought my hand up and slapped Adam right across his left cheek. He grasped his reddening cheek in his hand and grimaced.

"I suppose I deserve that." He sighed, focusing his gaze on the water below us. I shook my head and stood up, glaring down at Adam.

"You are a douche. Who does that? Why me, huh? Why'd you have to test your ridiculous theory on me?" I fired out questions at him, my arms crossed over my chest. Adam stood, but avoided my gaze.

I wasn't too hurt by what Adam did, but that was because of my recent...revelation. I didn't have a crush on Adam, although he was good looking.

I was angry, though. I wasn't just a pawn that he could toy with. I am a human being with feelings and the fact that I made him realize he was gay didn't really boost my self esteem.

I couldn't care less that Adam is gay, but the fact that he had the audacity to kiss me to find out what his sexual orientation was is just, well, rude.

"I'm sorry, okay? I thought that maybe I could like you like that, you know? My parents have been pressuring me to get a girlfriend and I have been curious for a while now. I thought maybe I could go on a date with you and I wouldn't be gay, and that's why I kissed you. I figured, if there are sparks or whatever, then I could finally have this all sorted out. Instead, I felt like I was kissing my grandpa or something." He shuddered and I scoffed.

"Wow, thanks. So I kiss like an old man?" I felt my cheeks burn in embarrassment, but I was still angry.

"No! That's not what I meant. It's just that I didn't feel anything. It wasn't that you're a bad kisser, I just didn't feel it." He ran a hand through his hair, tousling it slightly.

"It being...?" I raised my eyebrows and he dropped his hand, shrugging.

"The fireworks, I guess." He looked distraught, so I put my anger aside and sat back down, grabbing his hand and tugging him down with me.

"Have you ever had a girlfriend, Adam?" I looked at him through the corner of my eyes and he nodded.

"Two. It only lasted a week with the first one and the second lasted a month. She got mad that I didn't get...aroused by her, so she broke it off." He pulled his bottom lip between his teeth and sucked in a sharp breath. "I remember thinking there was something wrong with me. I thought I was a failure as a man. I mean, she was beautiful, and almost every guy at school wanted her. I just - I didn't know what to do or how to feel."

I took in his glassy, red eyes and quivering lip and felt any remaining anger dissipate. Sure, what he did was pretty mean, but I had no clue how it felt to be so unsure of yourself.

I wrapped my arms around him and he shook as he quietly sobbed onto my shoulder. I rubbed his back and whispered words of encouragement in his ear.

After about ten minutes, he pulled away, his eyes on his hands. His fingers played with another as he spoke. "I'm so sorry, Lexi. I just don't know what to do. My friends will hate me and my parents will disown me."

"I doubt that." I said softly. "If they really love you, they'll love you for who you are, not who you pretend to be."

"No, you don't get it. My parents are extremely religious. I would be a disappointment, hell, I already am. They already hate me because I'm not as academically successful as my older brother. They wouldn't want to even look at me if I came out. They'd take me to therapists and doctors, saying that it's a disease." He rubbed his eyes with his sleeve and I placed a hand on his arm.