Ikemen Sengoku Moments

Sanitizer Wars Part 2

In this part Mitsuhide is trying to discover Ieyasu's intentions, the "fluff balls" are unleashing utter cuteness havoc, and MC gets pelted with diapers... again. Nerf guns have now been introduced. Enjoy! :)

Mitsuhide crept carefully through the creaky hallways, not making a sound. His fluffy aloe vera socks ensured his victory. They had to, because the fate of the battle relied on them. Honestly, if he was spotted, he would look quite ridiculous. In fact, Masamune and Nobunaga watched him go, barely holding in their tears of amusement. Mitsuhide really wasn't going to make it easy for anyone, was he?

The Hideyoshi forces had dispersed as soon as the danger was over, but not before equipping themselves with more sanitizer, wipes, and toilet paper. Ieyasu groaned in distress as he watched his life savings of toilet paper being dragged out by Hideyoshi. Anyway, back to Mitsuhide. While Ieyasu's room was unguarded, he crept in, stole a few battle plans, and some personal notes off his desk, and quickly scrambled. Returning to Nobunaga and Masamune, they read them quietly, planning all the way. They quickly found their next course of action.

MC was just returning to her room, sneaking a full plate of food, but faltered when she saw Mr. Flirty Head in front of her door. Well, not anymore. They were at war. She grimaced for Masamune's fate, unleashing her emergency weapon. Masamune backed up, his smile vanishing immediately. "Wait, wait, wait, that's dangerous! Kitten, put that down before---" She puffed two blasts of perfume at him, frowning. She knew just how potent that stuff was. Masamune ran, holding his nose at the unbearable intensity. "Ughh, not again...." he groaned. Locking the door, she quickly ran to her room, texting Hideyoshi about the situation. Hideyoshi nodded, gathering reinforcements just in case.

Unfortunately, MC eventually had to use the bathroom. (Ah, the sad truth of life.) She armed herself with her handy-dandy perfume bottle, and peeked out of her doorway. She immediately closed it again, but not before spraying Nobunaga and his diaper catapult with perfume. Nobunaga smirked beneath his face-mask. Too bad for her. She was just gonna have to deal with it. Luckily for her, the Hideyoshi forces had decided to come to her rescue, welding powerful soap bullets. Nobunaga repositioned his diaper catapult at the direction of the firing, and aimed. It exploded in their midst, revealing sponges covered with rubbing alcohol. Using the commotion as a distraction, MC finally snuck out to use the bathroom, but not before spraying febreeze into Nobunaga's face. Mitsuhide from upstairs was watching, and he readied his wet-wipe missile. He launched, sending tons of wet wipes straight over his enemies heads, watching as they buried them in a wet, sanitary avalanche. 

This was an absolute disaster. The Hideyoshi forces hastily retreated behind plastic umbrellas, blocking off their enemies attacks. Meanwhile, MC was fighting her own battles. Aiming the sanitizer bottle and squirting rapidly, she successfully made it past the diaper catapult... almost. Mitsuhide, still watching from above, aimed a diaper slingshot at MC. She squealed out, tumbling to the ground. Well, that was it. Hideyoshi realized they were on the losing side, and everyone retreated back to the base.

It was ridiculous at this point how intense the battle was. The forces spent all day plotting, emerged from their rooms only to squirt their enemies with hand sanitizer, building new and improved weapons (which the author actually has to write about) and restocking supplies (mostly toilet paper). Meanwhile, Mitsunari and Ranmaru were driving Ieyasu crazy with what he would call "pointless enthusiasm". After that disaster, they were more determined to win than ever. In fact, they wouldn't even tell the others their master plan. But, at 5 in the evening, they snuck out to meet their enemies in direct warfare. 

MC, Hideyoshi, and Ieyasu were waiting anxiously for any news back at the base. MC had contacted the Uesugi-Takeda forces for additional... surprises. She had suddenly remembered that Kenshin owed her a favor, and really, now was a great time for the God of War's help. Ranmaru and Mitsunari were for than happy to accommodate for the new plan. Hideyoshi watched in awe as their help showed up... in the form of a massive bunny army. Sasuke suddenly tapped the window in the room, and MC rushed to open it. She quickly explained the situation, asked him to give Kenshin her thanks, and snuck him one of Ieyasu's "autographs." Now, all they had to do was wait.

Nobunaga was suddenly awakened by the commotion. Technically, it wasn't all that loud, but years of experience in the Sengoku period told him that victory wouldn't come all that easy, and that his enemies were always looking for revenge. He grinned, ready to take on the challenge. Unfortunately, nothing could have prepared him for... this. He saw two enemies in panda costumes, a massive cloud of bunnies, and a massive sack of carrots. Oh man. That could only mean one thing. Too bad he didn't know who his attackers were. If they were Hideyoshi and Ieyasu.... even if this was war, he would get Mitsuhide to snap a picture and blackmail them for life. The drama of it was just that great.

Nobunaga spoke a rapid message to his allies, ready for battle. The pandas addressed him. "My Lord, I am so sorry, but I am afraid I will have to take you down." Ah. It was Mitsunari. "Mitsunari, that was a bit rude, don't ya think? You could pass for Ieyasu at this rate." The panda called Mitsunari sighed. "Fine, Ranmaru." ... and Ranmaru. Nobunaga concluded that they had no strategy. Which was great, except they still didn't need a strategy to win this one. Nodding at each other, the pandas began to fire carrots at Lord Nobunaga. The army surged forward, struggling to get the carrots. The bunny claws came out. Nobunaga went down. How could something so cute be so deadly? He wondered. Luckily, his help had arrived. Masamune and Mitsuhide pulled up, making expressions of awe, amusement, and terror. Nobunaga was pretty sure he had never seen Mitsuhide look so startled. Which was the expression he was making as a carrot smacked into him.

Needless to say, it was a bloodbath. With the Mitsuhide forces completely defeated, the pandas withdrew, the bunnies following them obediently (probably hoping for more carrots.) As they entered the base, MC high-fived them, and petted every bunny she saw on the head. Hideyoshi was now officially scared of her. If he offended her in any way, he was pretty sure the bunnies were going to murder him. Sasuke was now back. Opening the window and sliding a ramp in place, he waved a carrot at the forces. They all watched as one by one, the rabbits disappeared out of sight, back to Echigo.

Next chapter... 

- The Uesugi-Takeda forces join in

- The victor is determined

-Pet warfare is used by all

- The end of the mini-series