Surviving Sengoku

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Dear Sasuke,
First, thank you for checking in on me after Hideyoshi scolded me for "disrespecting Lord Nobunaga's feelings." Second, I wanted to ask you why your friend Yuki is selling women's accessories. He is hopeless. You should tell his boss to get him a better (aka more appropriate) job. I know you told me to send a message through him if I ever got in trouble, but last time, I complained that Masamune was hitting on me and he started muttering about witchcraft. To summarize, he never gets it right. Also, today I was visiting Ieyasu because of a cooking incident I had a while back (ended with burning food and fingers) and he told me that smoke signal pellets are made from wolf doo (or something like that.) In short, I am NEVER contacting you ever again. And it gets better: he let me pet Wasabi!! And don't worry, I remembered to satisfy your extreme sengoku fanboy and I took a picture of him while he wasn't looking. I'll definitely send it to you later. I also got his autograph, thanks to Masamune and Mitsuhide. It took 20 whole minutes to capture him into surrender. You owe me a big one.
            Your totally chill and not panicking friend,

MC

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