Please Don't Go

CHAPTER 13

JAMES' POV

     Why hasn't she called yet? It should only take her half an hour to get home. It's been over an hour. Should I call? No, I'll be too annoying.

     I paced back and forth in the kitchen. I couldn't shake the feeling that something happened to her. I grabbed my phone and started to call her. I stared at my phone for a moment, I tossed it aside.

     I shouldn't worry. I'll give her another ten minutes. If she hasn't called by then, I'll call her. She has been through so much already, now this.

I ran my fingers through my black hair, as if I was trying to erase my thoughts. I'd been Coles friend since Elementary school, now he's gone. To top it all off, I have had the biggest crush on his girlfriend since I met her.

I felt guilty. I knew Lilliana and I would never be a thing, but I always held onto these feelings. I smacked my forehead.

James you idiot! She just lost her boyfriend who was about to propose. She's already upset, keep it together. Maybe one day...

I slapped myself again. I couldn't allow myself to be with my best friends girl, even if he is gone. I sighed, I really needed to find myself a girl.

No one is like Lilliana though.

Boy if that's not the truth. She could be so temperamental. It was cute though.

NO! You moron. Get it out if your head.

I was fighting a hopeless war, one where I was loosing miserably. Ten minutes had finally passed. I grabbed my phone and immediately called.

It rang a few times, nothing. I tried again. Nothing. And again, nothing. I was getting worried.

Did something happen? I knew I should've called sooner.

I was panicking. She wasn't answering, she didn't seem too fine when I left. SHIT! I didn't want to go back to her house (I actually did), if she was there, I would only be bothering her.

"Screw it." I muttered.

I grabbed my car keys and left. I did well over the speed limit getting to her house but I didn't care. When I got there, I noticed her car was already there. I jumped out of the car and ran to the front door. It was cracked open.

     I didn't bother knocking. I grabbed the gun out of my waist band and started searching the house. I wanted to make sure there wasn't anyone in the house. I went around the entire downstairs, looking in cabinets and closets. Nothing.

     I made my way upstairs, I would check her room last. Everything was clear. I slowly went to her room. I opened the door quietly and slowly peeped my head through the door. She was asleep.

     She must've been so tired she passed out before calling me. I still wanted to check her room for any intruders. All clear.

     She must've forgotten to close the door all the way. I'm glad I came then.

     I wasn't sure if I should stay or head back. I wanted to stay and comfort her, but I knew she needed space. I sighed. At least I knew where a spare key was so I could lock the door behind me.

     I would just return the key another time. That would be an awkward conversation. Before leaving, I crouched next to her.

     "Sleep well. Maybe one day I'll tell you my feelings." I gently kissed her forehead. Until then, I would play the brother part. Being the brother was worse than friend zone.

     I quietly left. There was so much I wanted to tell her, but I had to wait. One day I would tell her my feelings. Someday soon I would tell her that she should become a surgeon.

     She would do remarkable with that. For crying out loud, she managed to do surgery on her boyfriend and remain mostly calm. Most people can't do it, but she did. Yes she lost it afterwards, but she did it.

      Now was too soon to ask, but I would. I knew she could do it. Not to mention, it wouldn't take her as long as others since she's so smart and likes to get ahead.

    Would she consider being with me in the future? Will she ever let go of Cole? He was her first love but, you can't hold onto someone forever right? Hypocrite. You've held onto her this long.

     I went home and took a shower. I had so many thoughts, I hoped I could just wash them away. That wasn't the case though. After my shower, I made myself dinner and watched a movie. It would've been better if I wasn't by myself.

I was almost done with the movie when Lilliana called. I dashed for my phone, knocking it on the ground and almost missing her call. I tried to sound composed, when I was on the verge of screaming.

"Hello?"

"Hey James, sorry I didn't call back. I was so tired I fell asleep and forgot to call. I didn't mean to make you worry."

YOU GAVE ME A FREAKING HEART ATTACK!

"It's all good. Don't worry about it. Have you eaten yet?"

"I'm heating some of the leftover Ziti right now."

"Good. Hey so um... later I wanted to talk to you about a few things. Not now, but some other time." I wanted to tell her about me going into her house and my thoughts about her becoming a surgeon.

"Um... okay? Is everything alright?"

"Oh, yeah! Don't worry it's nothing bad. I just wanted your opinion on something. But, it needs to wait."

"Okay. Well I'm going to eat. I'll talk to you later James. Bye."

"Bye." I hung up. Well, at least there is that.

I just hope she will be open to my surgeon idea. It will be more hard work, but she can do it.

     I knew after Coles death, nothing would be the same. I knew Lilliana would change. I would change. Those around us would change. But I knew one thing was for sure, life would still carry on.

     Cole would always be remembered as the fun, dorkish, amazing man that he was. No one would ever forget him. And maybe someday, I'll tell Lilliana my feelings for her.

     Until then, I will stay by her side, helping her through her grief.

Thank you for reading! Please vote and subscribe! The next chapter will be moving forward two years.