Green Hearts

Chapter 28

"Are you even alive?" I feel her finger poke my shoulder but my body feels too heavy to react so I just lay without saying a word, my eyes trying to burn holes into the wall I've been string at for hours now

"Autumn" she pokes me again, this time moving further to give my shoulder a little shake but all the noise and movement is turning my head so I press my eyelid shut

"Damn" Muna curses and I hear her footsteps recede from my bed side before the curtain rings scrape the rod and sunlight comes bursting towards me

Thank God my eyes are already closed

But the sudden brightness of the room is disturbing so I turn and dump my face in my pillow

"For Christ's sake, are you a damn vampire now?" I feel my covers being pulled off me but I'm too tired to complain

Next her fingernails dig into my shoulder as she pulls me into a sitting position

My eyes meet hers and they hold worry as they search mine while her hands hold me up at arm's length

I give her a weak smile and gently shrug her hands off my shoulder. As she does, I slump forward, stretching my spine as my head rests on my bed

"Christ, Autumn, you look like you're struggling with drug use relapse" she sits at the edge of my bed

I raise my head from the mattress to smile at her but my hair blocks that from happening since it's all over my face like I'm taking a picture for Billie Eillish's album

"I'm fine Muna" I say instead since I'm too lazy to move my hair, before falling back on my bed and turning away from all the sunlight

"That's the most you've said in days, Autumn. I'm seriously worried" she says and I feel her get in my bed behind me before her arms circle my waist and her head rests in the crook of my neck

I sigh heavily without replying because I don't even know what to tell her

Or myself

"Have you at least talked to your fathers since so that they don't come here with their wrath and turn this poor school to a war zone" she says and I smile, even though she can't see it

"Yes" is all I say

"I notice you text Paris too"

"Only when she needs my company" I say, not feeling the mood to explain further

We stay silent for a moment, her steady breathing matching mine as I close my eyes and try to fall back to sleep where I don't have to worry about anything

"Mrs Black asked about your absence" she says quietly

My body stiffens in response; the last thing I need is Mrs B hounding me about what went down with Jace and I

The last thing I'd want to talk about

Her hand detaches from my waist and goes to rub my arm in comfort "I didn't tell her. She thinks you're taking the week off with your parents"

"Thank you" I breathe and go back to trying to sleep while her body gives me the comfort of heat that my covers used to before she threw it who knows where

"Why are you so upset? Is this all over Jace or is there more?" She doesn't let the silence sit and I miss the few days before where she let me wallow in my quietness

When I don't respond, she detaches herself from me and gets off my bed. I can feel her piercing gaze behind me

"You barely eat or speak, you've not left this room except going to the bathroom. It's like you don't bother with the rest of the world anymore" I hear her voice break at the end and I immediately feel alerted

I sit up and turn to face her. As per my suspicions, she has tears prickling in her eyes and my heart breaks just a little bit more at the sight

I cock to my head to the sight and open up my arms to her which she willfully ignores with a roll of her eyes but I leave my hand hanging open to her with a knowing look

She sighs heavily before moving into my hug. My arms circle her shoulder and I probably attempt to smoulder into reassurance with my hug

"That's not true" I say "And none of those things mean that I'm upset or whatever"

"Well whatever you are" she says "It's not happy and I don't like it. I don't like the new you"

"The new me?" I ask confused

"Yes, this charade you're putting up instead of addressing what you feel and actually talking about it"

I stay silent because I have nothing to say

"I'm sorry" I say into her hair

"You're an idiot" she laughs silently into my sleeve. I kiss her hair and try to get off the bed

She looks alarmed as she grabs my arm, staring up at me like I'm about to make a run for it

"What?" I ask her

"Where are you going?"

"To the toilet. Want to come?" I have a snug look on that visibly makes her relax

"You're an ass" she shakes her head at me and I just smile as our room door comes open

Then the smile drops from my face when I come face to face with who's on the other side

I turn back to Muna but she just looks confused, her weary eyes watching the both of us

I turn back to him

"Get out" my voice is calm and under restrain

"Autumn, please let's talk" he walks into the room and closes the door behind him

What the fuck?

"I said get the fuck out of my room!" My voice is louder this time because the mere feeling of him close to me is choking

"Why the hell are you even mad at me? You're the one that is constantly keeping me at arm's length" he's yelling at me too at this point

"Oh what an excuse, Jace. Pardon me for even giving a fuck about you" I retort

"What the hell was I supposed to do?" He asks

"Did I mean that little to you, Jace? Everything! Everything between us was nothing and you just went on to the next girl?"

"The thing between us that you kept denying? Sure" he folds his arms in a defensive attitude

"All because there was no goddamn label right? Well I hope you're satisfied now" my voice breaks and I can feel myself about to cry

He moves towards me when I notices this and I take steps backwards with my hands out before me to keep him away

"Stay the fuck away from me Jace" I feel my tears begins to soak my skin "I can't believe I actually fell for you" I laugh sardonically to myself

"What?" He looks confused "You have feelings for me?"

"And I know I'm a fool for that. I just want all this behind me so please just leave" I ask quietly but loud enough for him to hear me

"How the fuck was I supposed to know when you were treating my like a goddamn leper" his tone is harsh and I feel anger begin to boil in my blood again

"You think I let you into my life and let you know my fathers, who no one knows about, for what reason? Cause you're my friend?" I ask him and he looks away

"As I thought" I snarl

"You literally can't pin this on me, Autumn" he sighs "I just came here to apologize, not to get into any more arguements with you or talk about your fake feelings"

His green eyes are staring intensely at me and I match the glare equally

How dare he?

I step up into his face till we're practically breathing the same air

"Get the fuck out of my room before I call campus security"

His jaw ticks in anger before he makes a move to leave as I add under my breath but I'm sure he hears it

"I pray you think of me and it fucks you up"