Green Hearts

Chapter 50

Proem

Love over the time has lost its truth because it is tainted by broken hearts. Even I have once been a victim of such, growing up in an orphanage but I had help; my brother, Dieter

I began a search to find more meanings to love, maybe I could heal a little bit of hurt to those that read my book, and then I found her. She wouldn't even speak the word and I was intrigued till I fell for her

In acknowledgment of contradicting views, I disagree;

Love is beautiful

Love is different shades of green returning to withered trees after a harsh winter

As with nature, it's green; everlasting. It's like a sort of continuity, like what was once dead could come to be again

It is without deceits
Lies
Without motives

Autumn,

I want to show you spring after a long winter

***

His green eyes stare into mine as we stand feet apart in silence since we got here

It's neutral grounds for us both so we're standing under the night sky at a bridge two weeks since I found out he'd without, my permission, written me into his book and still tried to keep it away from me

I look away "It's a pretty good book. You really know how to draw readers to your characters, I felt more me than normal when reading it" 

My tone is neutral and without spite because I no longer want to hold on to any form of hate. I'm turning a new leaf, a green leaf

My eyes don't stray from the steady water that occasionally dance when someone throws a stone in it but I can feel his eyes watching me

"I've missed you" he says warmly and I shake my head slowly at him, turning to meet his gaze again while hoping that it conveys my lack of interest in this conversation going that way

My eyes can't hold his for much longer so I look away again with all of my willpower because, just like the first time we met, I'm still affected by his pretty eyes

"I never actually meant to hurt you, I was really going to tell you about it" he says and I roll my eyes

"What you think would be my reaction when I found out? I'd be pleased that my business is out there for people to be entertained with without mentally preparing myself for that?" I ask incredulously 

"I know that but I just needed to find the right time to come out with it" he sighs and runs a hand through his curls

"Right because it's all about you and when you feel is good enough for you. Am I not that important? Are my feelings a joke to you?" I ask, clearly irritated and searching for sympathy to understand this

"That's not what happened and you know it" his voice has a warning tone to it and I wonder what he'll do if I push him further

What? Write a sequel?

We settle into another feat of silence and I let my mind wander to how different things would be without having him around but I'm determined to not be constrained in the confines of loving him

The past two weeks have been hell on earth and even if I seem calm at the moment, I'm only fretting inside. I've gotten so used to having him around and getting back together after just days of breaking off

But this is a totally different game I'm not sure I can keep up with

Muna has been keeping an extra eye on me since I nearly burnt down my mother's house. I don't blame her, I sat watching the pot in thought until it burnt and nearly took the house with it

He plagued my thought

I have find something else and move on 

So as we both stand here with nothing more to say to each other even though we both wanted to make what is coming next stop, it makes me realize

It makes me realize that maybe if we are falling apart in the middle of an empty bridge gazing at a beautiful town under twinkling stars, then maybe it isn't meant to be because love should never hurt this much

He sighs heavily again and leans on the bridge with me "You are everything to me; I can't lose you" he mutters and I catch it but pretend not to

I can't keep playing this game with him, with my heart, or it'll never heal

The sound of his voice close to me is enough to make my stomach flutter so I decide that tonight I'd let myself live in my fairytale, but tomorrow I was going to find a way to get over him

So when he gets off the rail to walk away, I say nothing to stop him but he speaks again "I love you, always"

I hear his receding steps as tears stain my cheeks afresh

***
Hello, my friends!
I'm really sorry to my very few readers who manage to put up with this book and my delays
It'll never happen again probably because this is my last chapter!
Jokes! Jokes!!
I've got one more...what do kids these days call it again? An epilogue!
It's going to tie everything in a cute little red riding hood bow
Thanks for reading this far!